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Help Send ScrappleFace to Republican Convention

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · 24 Comments

ScrappleFace editor Scott Ott has just acquired press credentials for the Republican National Convention, September 1-4 in St. Paul, Minnesota, thanks to a partnership with Illinois’ regionally-syndicated radio program, The Michael Koolidge Show, available online daily.

As a result, ScrappleFace readers, and those who follow Scott Ott at Townhall.com, on Twitter and on Facebook will enjoy gavel-to-gavel satirical (and serious) written coverage of the convention. In addition, Mr. Ott will provide audio coverage via The Michael Koolidge Show.

Since this excursion was not included in the ScrappleFace Enterprise Institute’s fiscal 2008 budget, the vast board of directors of ScrappleFace.com has decided to turn to ScrappleFace readers (AKA Scrapplers) to fund this journalistic adventure. Your generous gift is tax-deductible only if you’re the kind of person who cheats on your taxes. However, by hitting PayPal now to sponsor ScrappleFace@RNC 2008, you will have the warm feeling that you’re actually making a difference in the future of our country.

(Listen, tell yourself whatever you have to in order to justify coughing up your hard-earned money to make this dream a reality for the good of humanity, and huwomanity.) Airline tickets must be purchased promptly, so please respond with dispatch. As a cost-cutting measure, the entire editorial staff at ScrappleFace will occupy just one seat on the airplane. We’re doing what we can. Please do what you can. Thank you.

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Tags: Non-Satire

24 responses so far ↓

  • 1 upnorthlurkin // Aug 15, 2008 at 3:41 pm

    Well, since the entire editorial staff will share one seat, how can I refuse! Even though funds are extremely short up here at the present time, I shall contribute!
    :lol:
    wv - 100,000 lacked - how in the world did you know that?!!

  • 2 Mack // Aug 15, 2008 at 3:47 pm

    I’m flattered you remember that Red Pepper. I still get emails requesting it.

    But as you said, I see people as they are not how I want them to be. That makes for some short conversations let me tell you. When you state facts to liberals they get mad and start calling you names shortly before stomping away in a huff.

    You should have seen the look on the Senator’s face when I said it. He was expecting supporters and I got his book autographed. I will support the man but no, I wont be jumping through hoops to do it. After all, he is the choice of the people who voted for him. He is the choice of the majority. Which means they will get what they asked for.

    As far as Obama is concerned, much like Mien Kampf (sp) Hitler told us what he intended to do and Obama is not shy about it either.

  • 3 nylecoj // Aug 15, 2008 at 4:18 pm

    I will be do it for the huwomanity :-)
    You will see my little bit tomorrow.

  • 4 nylecoj // Aug 15, 2008 at 6:17 pm

    Hmmm “be do it” I have no idea what that means, but the check is in the mail or something on that order. :-)

  • 5 RedPepper // Aug 15, 2008 at 7:44 pm

    Mack #2: I’m not surprised to hear that you still get requests for a copy of your “Rules” : if I had not squirreled them away back when I first saw them here on Scrappleface, I’d be bugging you myself. Btw - thank you.

    I don’t see Obama in the way you describe him. True, at the beginning he was more honest & up front about his views and his intentions ; though, as the campaign has progressed, he has become more and more opaque. Even at the start, however, his fundamental strategy was to be vague and suggestive, and let his devotees’ hopes fill in the spaces so that he would appear to each one as the embodiment of what they wanted him to be. This is a well known game, with a long and colorful history. Back in the mid-Twentieth Century, the players were known as grifters.

    It is not surprising that Obama seems like a pleasant, non-threatening fellow. Or that even those who reject his blandishments tend to simply dismiss him as an amiable wind-sock.
    The purpose of that exterior is simple : to lull you into a stupor. That’s one of the main objectives of the game.

    I’ll give the devil his due, though ; most grifters were/are small-timers. Not this guy - Barack Obama is world-class ! He makes William Jefferson Beelzebubba look like a rube!

  • 6 JamesonLewis3rd // Aug 15, 2008 at 7:56 pm

    BO = = marionette

    Somebody put him on the podium at the last convention, he sure didn’t earn that spot, either.

  • 7 mindknumbed kid // Aug 15, 2008 at 8:12 pm

    “I’ll give the devil his due, though ; most grifters were/are small-timers. Not this guy - Barack Obama is world-class ! He makes William Jefferson Beelzebubba look like a rube!”

    Wait a minute - Bill Jeff Bubba IS a rube…

  • 8 mindknumbed kid // Aug 15, 2008 at 8:26 pm

    One week away from a vacation, I’m thinking of spending it in Poyais. Anyone have any advice or suggestions?

  • 9 Mack // Aug 15, 2008 at 8:47 pm

    In comparison to Hillary and company, Obama is a choir boy. By the same comparison he has personality. Compared to Nancy Pelosi, John Kerry, Harry Reid, and any other ten Democrats you could name, he also shows well in the personality contest. But we are choosing a leader who will support and defend the constitution of the United States against all enemies foreign and domestic, not a host for the late show.

    Frankly I get tired of people insulting my intelligence. Trolls do it on a daily basis as they bend truth, disregard known facts, and express outright lies to antagonize other people. I take the national situation very seriously.

    I look at our place in the world like the uniform I wear. If one person in uniform does somthing everyone else who wears that uniform is compared to them, good or bad.

    Our elected representatives are just that, they represent us to the rest of the world. If the people who would destroy us can’t leave us alone out of respect they had better fear us. Obama is already trying to surrender.

    I don’t care to see us fight wars, but refusing to fight when threatened is suicide. Sabotaging our economic independance to buy votes from the non working classes is just as bad.

  • 10 Darthmeister // Aug 15, 2008 at 8:49 pm

    Obama/Kerry 2008?

    If these two clowns get into the White House, this country is in deep doo-doo. Hang on to your wallets because their presidency will be seared, seared into your minds for a lifetime.

  • 11 mig // Aug 15, 2008 at 9:39 pm

    How did all the Clintons get a spot at the convention… Hillary, Bill and Chelsea now introducing her mommy?!

    AND did anyone hear that the head of the Dems in arkansas was assassinated yesterday?

    Looking into that now.

    Also overheard tonight: Edwards former campaign manager said he wondered how Edwards felt knowing that the National Enquirer had more credibility than him (Edwards)… heh heh heh.

  • 12 mig // Aug 15, 2008 at 9:47 pm

    Police in Little Rock say they have no motive for the fatal shooting of state Democratic party Chairman Bill Gwatney. He was wounded at party headquarters and died four hours later.

    Gwatney, a 48-year-old former Arkansas state senator, had been planning to travel to the Democratic National Convention as a superdelegate. He had backed Hillary Rodham Clinton but endorsed Barack Obama after she dropped out of the race. Clinton and former President Clinton issued a statement praising Gwatney’s work and calling him “a cherished friend and confidant.”
    Half the democrats don’t believe that Hillary dropped out of the race but was pushed.

    This is not the same shooting that Newsday tried to blame Rush and Hannity for is it?

  • 13 mig // Aug 15, 2008 at 9:48 pm

    And by the way y’all, you should be buying the man some coffee.

    Scott Ott for Pres!

  • 14 gafisher // Aug 15, 2008 at 10:04 pm

    mkk Re#8: “One week away from a vacation, I’m thinking of spending it in Poyais. Anyone have any advice or suggestions?

    Sure — give yourself plenty of time, at least a month, to plan; second, bring plenty of money, preferrably gold; and last, if you see the Cazique, try not to comment about his tartan.

  • 15 gafisher // Aug 15, 2008 at 10:12 pm

    Mig Re#12: “Police in Little Rock say they have no motive for the fatal shooting …

    And Police in Denver say they have no motive for the Muslim found dead a block from the site of the Democrat Convention with a pound of sodium cyanide. The cops pointed out that he might have intended to use it for some industrial process up in his luxury hotel suite.

  • 16 Darthmeister // Aug 15, 2008 at 10:44 pm

    How an Obama White House would have responded to Russia’s invasion of Georgia*.

    *No, Mr. Obama, Atlanta is safe and that Georgia isn’t the 57th state.

  • 17 vittles scooper // Aug 15, 2008 at 10:59 pm

    I think it is thrilling that Scott will be covering the Republican Convention. But he needs our help. I sent my little contribution via snail mail tonight, as it will help give him wings to St. Paul. Please help him fly there because our country needs his unique ability to bring home the truth. Get Scott to BOTH CONVENTIONS ! THIS IS SUCH A TERRIFIC IDEA ! PLEASE let the master do his writing/poding from the floor of the conventions ! Go Scott ! Go ! ! !

  • 18 nylecoj // Aug 15, 2008 at 11:50 pm

    Mig re #12,
    If I understand correctly the shooter was killed the same day after a police chase. So I cannot see how we will ever know why.

  • 19 mindknumbed kid // Aug 16, 2008 at 1:25 am

    Maybe J-Mac could try getting Obama for a running mate and let HillBill have the dem nom seeing as they own the convention anyhow.

  • 20 Mack // Aug 16, 2008 at 2:30 am

    It is nice to see Ms. Vittlescooper still stops by here. Red Pepper, and many others still around. If my schedule permits I think I will be around.

    Personally I think the election is a forgone event. Hillary and company will shaft Obama at the convention dividing the Democrat party giving her a chance to run again in 2012 when McCain wins. They will torpedo Obama via surrogates every chance they get. McCain will eek out a victory and the Democrats in the House and Senate will continue to attack and obstruct as they have been. Discontent ought to be at an all time high by the time the next election rolls around, or at least that is Hillary’s big plan.

    Hillary doesn’t want to play second chair to anyone. She did that the whole time Bill was in office and she didn’t like it.

    I also noted the absence of troll droppings today. Must be a pagan Un-holy-day somewhere.

  • 21 J. Cougar Melancholy // Aug 16, 2008 at 7:56 am

    Troll drop alert!!
    Scott,
    I hope you raise enough money to get a limo with a midget bartender who can mix a mean mojito at 80 mph.
    Go Obama!

    Little pink pagodas, y’all!

    [Editor's Note: Thank you Mr. (or Miss/Mrs.) Melancholy. Whatever a mojito is, we're hoping it's like Nestle's strawberry milk, as the vast editorial staff at ScrappleFace does not consume alcohol. This fact alone should set our convention coverage apart from the rest of the mainstream media, and give us clarity of perception, and rational thought rarely experienced at such events.]

  • 22 mig // Aug 16, 2008 at 8:07 am

    If Presidential hopeful Scott Ott does make it to the DNC showdown in Denver will he get to fuel up at the state gas station?

    Democrats taking advantage of city gas pumps save about $6 on every fillup, with taxes over 40 cents per gallon. Tax relief isn’t the only perk for the host committee, either.
    And this gem of a question?
    Car washes eat up a lot of water in a state hit by a drought, which led one councilman to ask: “Why are we washing cars in the middle of a drought?” he asked. “Where are the green police when we need them? Are they poking around restaurants to see that nobody fries food?”

    Also reported that there were some sour grapes from that other party: Teresa McFarland, a spokeswoman for the Minneapolis-St. Paul host committee, said they’re getting their gas at the (special) pump. “We’re not getting a tax break on fuel,” she said. “That’s not the set-up at this end.”

  • 23 mig // Aug 16, 2008 at 8:30 am

    “Majesty Akahi Nui, the King of Hawaii, has now reoccupied the throne of Hawaii. The Kingdom of Hawaii is now reenacted.

    Oh P-L-E-A-S-E.

  • 24 everthink // Aug 16, 2008 at 2:13 pm

    Mack,

    “I also noted the absence of troll droppings today. Must be a pagan Un-holy-day somewhere.”

    No, it’s just a busy day. I’ll be back soon.

    ET

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