(2008-08-15) — Authorities in Beijing today put to rest U.S. claims that girls on the Chinese gymnastics squad were not yet 16 years-old, the minimum age for Olympic competition, by noting that this is the year 4705 in China, not 2008.
“Our girls are actually older than their U.S. opponents based on our government’s more accurate and efficient method of tracking the passage of time,” said an unnamed spokesman for Communist regime. “We have already had more than twice as many years as the Western world, and so our gymnasts are double the 12 or 13 years they appear to be. By the way, most of our girls have put off marriage in order to compete in these Olympic games.”
The spokesman explained that China is able to “pack more time into a year by having fewer seasons.”
“Whereas in the U.S., you squander your time by having four wasteful seasons,” he said, “In China we have optimized our year, honing it down to only two seasons — the earthquake season and the flood season. This way we can do two years in the time it takes Americans to do one. Therefore, our girls look like prepubescent pixies while yours look like post-menopausal Amazons.”
The Chinese calendar also runs in 12-year cycles, each named after one of a dozen animals. The Chinese year 4705, which started February 7, is the year of the rat.
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35 responses so far ↓
1 JamesonLewis3rd // Aug 15, 2008 at 8:14 am
That’s it, their abacuses are configured for Rat Years.
2 gafisher // Aug 15, 2008 at 8:30 am
You’ve also got to factor in the Metric Year.
3 camojack // Aug 15, 2008 at 8:42 am
They’re probably using their equivalent of the pre-Julian calendar…which only had ten months, so they’d be 12 after just 10 years, and so on.
4 JamesonLewis3rd // Aug 15, 2008 at 9:18 am
Yesterday evening Mrs. 3rd looked at me dubiously (not an unusual occurrence) when I remarked that Rick Warren’s credentials made me dubious regarding his approach to tomorrow’s non-debate moderation.
Well, here’s sort of what I was getting at, though I thought he would be less brazen about it.
5 upnorthlurkin // Aug 15, 2008 at 9:30 am
Me thinks I smell a rat! Yes, I admit, while watching Michael Phelps cruise to a 6th gold, I saw what was supposedly a 16 year old Chinese gymnast….the prominent gap where her incisor should have been was pretty glaring….of course, she could’ve been in a street fight and lost it that way…..or wait, don’t they have nationalized health/dental care?!
Ain’t communism gonna be fun?!
6 conserve-a-tip // Aug 15, 2008 at 10:05 am
Where is Jerry Lewis when you need him? He’d take care of those 13 year olds!
JL3rd: Are you surprised? The charlatan that is Rick Warren isn’t going to discuss Christ and Faith? Well, blow me down! There is a wonderful read about the Warren Purpose Driven Lie here . It is long and very deep, but it is absolutely an amazing piece of work.
You do know that Warren went to Syria against the wishes of the State Department on his own mission to meet with Bashar Assad and stupidly (total lack of discernment) became a propaganda tool for the Syrian government with his stupid statements of praise for the government and for its (nonexistent) “liberal” acceptance of other faiths. Then, to make matters worse, he lied about having said what he really said, except that his people back home unwittingly posted the video of him saying it (that he took of himself) on the Saddleback website. Of course they yanked it immediately, but not before Joseph Farrah captured it and saved it for publication.
Rick Warren is a legend in his own mind and is nothing more than a religious snakeoil salesman of old. He is so focused on “social justice” as his “purpose” that he has forgotten that there can’t be any social justice without hearts changed by Christ. Warren is about Man “doing” works for God rather than spreading the truth of Christ having already done it for Man.
7 gafisher // Aug 15, 2008 at 10:48 am
Ah, Rick Warren. I’ve been looking high and low, far and wide for a photo of that statue of Poseidon riding the dolphins but so far the Porpoise Drivin’ Life has eluded me.
8 mig // Aug 15, 2008 at 11:00 am
I am like under 16 in Ox years.
UNL: Yeah, I’m looking forward to Communism about as much as you are.
9 Maggie // Aug 15, 2008 at 11:13 am
I was born on Feb./ Leap Year.That makes me ??.Naw , still too old…sigh.
OT
Just been watching the mens time trial relay race and there is a big upset about to occur.At least I’m upset about it…..sigh
)<:
10 Maggie // Aug 15, 2008 at 11:18 am
BTW….funny comments so far. :>)
11 Mack // Aug 15, 2008 at 11:38 am
To blog or not to blog? That is the question. I have to confess I can’t seem to work up the passion this election.
The last election had Johns Kerry, who was “Seared into our memory” as he lied about his “Band of brothers” and protested the war, committing treason in the process. Verses George W Bush, a President I genuinely like and respect.
This year we have Senator Obama. Who in spite of his politics and screaming liberal polices is still actually a likable person. Verses Senator John McCain. McCain though a man I do respect for his courage and service is at best a Republican in Name only.
I told him before the caucuses that we were looking for a gunfighter more than a diplomat. As one of a bunch at the rally I’m sure he thanked me and promptly forgot what I said as he shook the next hand. Is the best we can do is “I’m not as bad as my opponent?” I cant work and be passionate for that. I can vote for him but I doubt I will work much to get him elected.
On the bright side, conservatives now get to really see how minorities feel. The democratic party has been taking them for granted since the Johnson administration and they still feel compelled to vote in democrats.
12 conserve-a-tip // Aug 15, 2008 at 11:53 am
I don’t see what the big deal is. Women lie about their age all of the time! I’m 22 you know.
Mack: I was listening to an Obama speech the other day and something smacked me in the face - something that hadn’t dawned on me. He was saying that we-the-people are tired of hearing “Red State/Blue State” but would rather hear “The United States”. He said that we are sick of the partisan bickering and party fighting. That sounds really good - really above politics - until you realize that the other alternative is communism. The other alternative is a one party system where everyone mouths the mantra of that one viewpoint and nobody ever dares go against it.
For Obama, it is “unity at all costs”, never voicing the fact that unity for the sake of unity is tyranny. It’s no difference from his “Change” stance that is satirically expressed in Stein’s spoof on Obama: “This is the greatest country in the world. Help me to change it!”
I came away from listening to Obama’s speech with a heavy heart, because I realized that just as Venezuelans heard this very same rheteric from Chavez and bought it (with buyer’s remorse) so are Americans listening to Obama’s rhetoric and buying it. Obama may not be the communist who makes it into the highest office in our land this time, but the fact is, more and more Americans are lacking the critical thinking skills to recognize tyranny when it is right in front of them and there will be another Obama come along who will win like Flynn.
13 da Bunny // Aug 15, 2008 at 12:16 pm
The first time I saw the Chinese “women’s” gymnastics team, I immediately saw that “missing tooth” on the one little girl, and said to my husband…”Those girls aren’t 16 years old!” All the blue eyeshadow in the world can’t cover up the fact that China has cheated…big surprise there, eh?
14 da Bunny // Aug 15, 2008 at 12:24 pm
And all this time we’ve been told that only white American people can be guilty of racism…
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/othersports/olympics/2559578/Beijing-Olympics-Second-Spanish-team-photographed-making-slit-eyed-gesture.html
15 RedPepper // Aug 15, 2008 at 12:25 pm
The Chinese calendar also runs in 12-year cycles, each named after one of a dozen animals. The Chinese year 4705, which started February 7, is the Year of the Rat.
Somebody should tell that to Obama.
He thinks this is the Year of the Sheep.
16 conserve-a-tip // Aug 15, 2008 at 12:38 pm
RedPepper - that was good!! Actually, I thought it was the year of the Lemming, but then I realized that the Chinese don’t have that on their calendar, since the government doesn’t want the people seeing themselves for what they really are!!!
17 RedPepper // Aug 15, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Mack #11: “I have to confess I can’t seem to work up the passion this election.”
… Watch a heel crush, crush. Uh oh,
this means no fear - cavalier. Renegade and steer clear! A tournament,
a tournament, a tournament of lies. Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives
and I decline.
It’s the end of the world as we know it.
It’s the end of the world as we know it.
It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine. — R.E.M.
If anyone had told me a few years back that Senator McCain would be the Republican nominee in ‘08, and that I would be supporting him, I would have accused them of being on drugs. Somebody already said it as well as it can be said, so let me quote: “There are only two reasons that could ever make me support McCain - Hillary and Barack!” And we may yet be facing the possibility of both!
So, if you find your enthusiasm flagging, Mack - I’m with you, but who ever told you the world was gonna make you happy? Let me remind you of Mack’s Rule of Life #7: “See people as they are, not as you want them to be.” I think we can usefully apply that principle to situations, as well as people. Yes, it’s a crappy choice. Oh, well. It’s still a choice.
“Depend upon it, sir, when a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.” ~ Samuel Johnson, from Boswell’s Life of Johnson
18 mig // Aug 15, 2008 at 1:31 pm
da Bunny,
We don’t have to push 2 to understand that language.
19 Ms RightWing, Ink // Aug 15, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Just how old am I anyhow. Now I am really confused…need more coffee
20 gafisher // Aug 15, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Ms. Rightwing, Ink Re: “Just how old am I anyhow.”
Check here.
21 gafisher // Aug 15, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Mack Re311: “… Senator Obama … is still actually a likable person.”
All he’s shown is a likable persona, a convincing act which has nothing to do with who he really is. Here is one example of this “likable” politician’s willingness to do whatever it takes to win, possibly even beyond even the Clintons. This man is willing to sell out his family, his friends, and even his political party to advance his personal agenda; it takes little imagination to conceive of him selling out his country to the same end.
I can’t get passionate for J. Sidney McCain and I fear for my childrens’ future if he wins, but I am passionately against an Obama Presidency.
22 J. Cougar Melancholy // Aug 15, 2008 at 3:03 pm
They may be a tad younger than they say they are. I was watching them warm up and right after they removed their warm up jackets, they removed their placentas.
23 upnorthlurkin // Aug 15, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Cougie, good one!
(I thought you were gonna say Pampers
24 mig // Aug 15, 2008 at 3:58 pm
So my age is 47 but I am in real age barely over 30. I should live to be almost 100, WHO wants to live that long. I think I need to develop some bad habits!
25 nylecoj // Aug 15, 2008 at 3:58 pm
JCM re#22, that is funny.
I was looking at a picture of the Chinese team and I do not know if I saw the same young lady but I swear the one I saw looked about 7 years old.
26 mig // Aug 15, 2008 at 4:09 pm
From Reuters
Children in minority costumes carry China’s national flag during the opening ceremony of the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games at the National Stadium in this August 8, 2008 file photo. Fake fireworks, a fake singer and now fake children at the Olympics opening ceremony. Organisers of the Games acknowledged on Friday that children dressed in ethnic costumes from around China who carried the Chinese flag at the ceremony were not actually from those ethnic groups, some of whom have tense relations with the government
27 JamesonLewis3rd // Aug 15, 2008 at 5:29 pm
I concur. BO, as a person, is as unlikable as his persona.
~~~~~
I would like to take this opportunity to say, “Ha! I told you so,” to those who thought Russia and/or China (our avowed archenemies) had, overnight, turned over a new leaf and become like us-civilized.
Thank you
28 Fred Sinclair // Aug 15, 2008 at 6:25 pm
mig #24 - The comment from the snail who hitch-hiked a ride on the turtle was “Wheeeeeee!” since he had never gone that fast before - it’s a matter of perspective.
One old codger: “WoW I turned 83 today!”
His somewhat younger old codger buddy said” “So what’s the big deal?”
Older codger replied: “Obviously you’ve never been 82.”
So you’re 47 gee-whilikers you haven’t even reached the halfway point yet. George Burns left us at age 100, still smoking 12 cigars a day. I live with an aneurism on my aorta, aware that any given hour could be my last, but I make plans to see my picture on the Smuckers jar.
I asked the Lord to let me live long enough to witness algore being led away in handcuffs to begin serving a life sentence with no parole, for his part in the Manmade” Global warming hoax.
Some years ago I read that “Life is like a roll of toilet paper - the closer to the end, the faster it goes.” Back then, laughed. Now at age 70 ‘m no longer laughing.
It’s not the number of years but what you’ve done with those years, however many they are.
The G.I. who dies in combat sums up his (or her) life in a moment. The G.I. who covers an accidently dropped ‘live’ grenade with his body, sums up his life in a split-second.
Soros, Pelosi, Reid and others of their ilk - regardless of their wealth or position will (Without Christ) never get beyond filth.
If either you or I are no longer here tomorrow - someone will miss us but in the meanwhile you and my other fellow Scrapplers have greatly enriched my life, soooo - “Wheeeeee!”
IN GOD WE TRUST
29 mindknumbed kid // Aug 15, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Do we as conservatives have to sit here and swallow as excrement sandwiches are forced down our throats? I never really seriously thought that J-Mac would pick a liberal running mate, but as the time draws nigh, it does not look good for us. I am really beginning to believe that we are being thrown under the bus. That the “moderates” are going to rid themselves of our influence once and for all. Is there an alternative for us? Can we all pick a real conservative and organize a movement against the RINOs? What can we do now? Anything? If J-Mac chooses some libdemented person I don’t know if I can vote for him. I doubt he can win if he follows that course. I believe a real conservative could make it if there is no one to force J-Mac to embrace the conservative roots.
30 mindknumbed kid // Aug 15, 2008 at 6:48 pm
Good grief!
31 mindknumbed kid // Aug 15, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Fred? Mitt? (not my idea of true conservative) Duncan? Tom? I posted months ago about how the RINO’s were not going to put up with us anymore, looks as though it is about to be shown in a way that will leave no question. Want to join the Constitution Party? I have no use for these guys, (once they reveal their intentions) none whatsoever.
32 mindknumbed kid // Aug 15, 2008 at 7:00 pm
I think I’ll be 47 in October…the years are all so fuzzy anymore, it takes me a few minutes to convince myself that when I use the year date 2008 that it is correct.
I guess I am just preparing myself for eternity devoid of time, I am as oblivious to time passing as I believe a mortal man can be.
33 Mack // Aug 15, 2008 at 7:14 pm
I’m flattered you remember that Red Pepper. I still get emails requesting it.
But as you said, I see people as they are not how I want them to be. That makes for some short conversations let me tell you. When you state facts to liberals they get mad and start calling you names shortly before stomping away in a huff.
You should have seen the look on the Senator’s face when I said it. He was expecting supporters and I got his book autographed. I will support the man but no, I wont be jumping through hoops to do it. After all, he is the choice of the people who voted for him. He is the choice of the majority. Which means they will get what they asked for.
As far as Obama is concerned, much like Mien Kampf (sp) Hitler told us what he intended to do and Obama is not shy about it either.
34 mindknumbed kid // Aug 15, 2008 at 8:31 pm
As we trend toward one worldism, the Olympics no longer have as much appeal for me. Globalization is gonna steal our heritage.
35 gafisher // Aug 15, 2008 at 9:53 pm
mkk Re#34: Today’s Olympics sure ain’t like in the Good Old Days.
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