(2002-12-02) — When the Boston Archdiocese declares Chapter 11, as many observers expect, local parishioners and clergy will enjoy bargain basement prices on everything from icons to indulgences.
“Crazy Bernie says ‘Everything Must Go!’,” reads a script for the planned TV ads. The spots feature a maniacal looking Cardinal Bernard Law, waving his hands recklessly and shouting:
“Rather than confess what our priests did to the children, we’re going bankrupt. But tough times for the archdiocese mean super deals for you. It’s a huge blow-out sale. Everything must go down to the bare walls. Gold, incense, myrrh, statues, confessional booths, even those cute little hats and robes. We’ve still got a few Papal indulgences from the old days, and we’re sacrificing them at rock-bottom prices.”
Like other businesses, the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Boston will continue to operate during the bankruptcy period, though some services may be curtailed. However, one-on-one counseling between priests and boys considering the priesthood will continue as usual.
“But the archdiocesan office won’t have staff to read and process correspondence,” according to a spokesman. “Parishioners should notice no change in service levels.”

Post This to Your Facebook