(2007-12-16) — Senators John McCain, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton this week picked up endorsements from the Des Moines Register and Boston Globe newspapers, as well as backing from the Western Union Telegraph Company and Wells Fargo Stage Coach.
The candidates hope these influential political endorsements boost them to victory in Iowa and New Hampshire, even as they continue to work behind the scenes to secure public backing from buggy whip manufacturers, castor oil makers, horseless carriage firms and the major daguerreotype photo services.
The excitement was palpable at Hillary ‘08 headquarters in Des Moines, when a young volunteer rushed into the room, a small yellow paper in her trembling hands. All commotion ceased as the tearful but smiling college student read the telegram: “Western Union backing Hillary. Stop. Fame trumps vision. Stop. See you in Oval Office. Stop.”
Moments later, a dusty stage coach drawn by four restless mares pulled up in front of Sen. John McCain’s nearby storefront campaign office to deliver the good news from Wells Fargo. A man identified only as ‘Festus’ reached into a leather satchel and handed the wax-sealed envelope to a campaign worker.
Later in the day, millions of readers of the Drudge Report learned of the newspaper endorsements, and then spent the next several hours reconsidering their allegiance to their favorite candidates, according to Des Moines Register editor Carolyn Washburn.
16 responses so far ↓
1 gafisher // Dec 16, 2007 at 9:12 am
All three have the backing of the Phony Express.
2 JamesonLewis3rd // Dec 16, 2007 at 9:57 am
Carolyn Washburn: [unmoving, hands at her sides, screaming at the top of her lungs, eyes clenched tightly shut] YOU, all of you!!!!! Are the weakest links!!!!!
Aa-a-a-a-a-a-a-r-r-r-r-r-r-rrgh!!!!!
3 Darthmeister // Dec 16, 2007 at 10:06 am
sHrillary says her eight years just living in the White House qualifies her to be president. Does this mean Bill Clinton’s personal secretary Betty Curry or the White House pastry chef are also qualified to be president?
4 Darthmeister // Dec 16, 2007 at 10:08 am
Can’t wait until the Reader’s Digest
comes out with its candidate endorsements. McCain, sHrillary and Osama Obama are all pretty hard to digest.
5 JamesonLewis3rd // Dec 16, 2007 at 10:15 am
Merry Christmas!
Happy New Year!
God Bless You!
6 Terry_Jim // Dec 16, 2007 at 10:34 am
The DesMoines Register is the only paper I’ve seen that puts its editorial cartoon on the front page.
On the plus side , it acts as a warning label that the rest of the “News” inside is as slanted as Page One.
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Say, why did Hillary get the support of buggy whip makers?? Any of the dems energy policies would take us back to horse and buggy days.
7 debass // Dec 16, 2007 at 11:08 am
“Does this mean Bill Clinton’s personal secretary Betty Curry or the White House pastry chef are also qualified to be president?”
They are probably more qualified than Hillary. I’d vote for her dog before I’d vote for her.
8 camojack // Dec 16, 2007 at 11:55 am
I can’t keep up with all those new-fangled inventions…
9 JamesonLewis3rd // Dec 16, 2007 at 12:03 pm
Off-Topic Alert:
John Bolton doesn’t mince words too often, does he? Refreshing…..
Thank You
Merry Christmas!
10 Ms RightWing, Ink // Dec 16, 2007 at 12:07 pm
I picked up a newspaper one day last week. It was rather memrable. The paper and I shared a cup of coffee and talked of days gone by when, I too, once worked behind the desk of a large paper in California.
Ahh, those were good times. I recalled when often I would carry the ink home with me all over my white blouse and after its news became old and useless, I would give the daily rag a good burial by wrapping him all about the Lutefisk.
And then, this is the best part, how I went nearly bankrupt by trying to own a small town newspaper here in NE Ohio. Oh you stinker you, I finally caught on to your ways by nickel and dimeing me to death. You thought I had the fortune of the Hearst family, didn’t you
Now I look at my computer screen and warn him/her/it, that my glowing friend’s day may someday come to an end, just as ol’ newsprint did. But lucky for him/her/it-I can’t wrap a computer screen around a pile of stinky Lutefisk.
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11 Ms RightWing, Ink // Dec 16, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Ooops, copy editor, there is a misspell in the first line. Please delete and insert Memorable
12 conserve-a-tips // Dec 16, 2007 at 12:21 pm
Well, all I can say is that here in Oklahoma, old-timey kerosene lamps and woodburning stoves have not been so out-ot-the-ordinary this week. However, the newspapers have been great ‘kindling’ for starting the fires. Too bad they can’t start any fires for those candidates they endorse!!
13 JamesonLewis3rd // Dec 16, 2007 at 12:43 pm
Hm. I think I’ll see if I can breed an Aromatic Species of Lutefisk. Sounds like a real money-maker with a future!
Jameson’s Deluxe Lutefisk™
Exclusively at Home Depot!
14 gafisher // Dec 16, 2007 at 2:01 pm
Ms. RW Re “… a misspell in the first line.”
I thought you were waxing poetic.
15 debass // Dec 16, 2007 at 2:33 pm
JL3-
You could win the lutefiskie award.
16 gafisher // Dec 16, 2007 at 9:10 pm
Jameson, I hope that by “an Aromatic Species of Lutefisk” you mean an inoffensively aromatic form. Lutefisk, for those yet to experience this delectable comestible, is cod steeped in lye, sufficiently aromatic to attract even a congested Swede from across two time zones.
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