(2007-11-17) — As the release of the final report on climate change by a panel of Nobel Laureate scientists at the United Nations sent a tsunami of fear around the globe this week, U.S. President George Bush today for the first time revealed his retirement plans.
“I’m going to put together a Real Estate Investment Trust (REIT) and buy up a bunch of oceanfront property in resort areas both here and abroad,” said Mr. Bush. “Since the U.N. and Al Gore say it’s all going to be under 40 feet of water soon, me and my partners should be able to pick it up for pennies on the dollar, no money down. Heck, they’ll be paying us to take those bungalows, hotels and condos off their hands, and maybe to help them move inland to the mountains.”
The president said he and Vice President Dick Cheney have already talked with Halliburton executives about forming an REIT division which will buy beach properties under the name “An Inconvenient Trust.”
Mr. Bush said he would “start by offering U.N. scientists $50-to-$100 cash money for each of their ocean-view properties, which according to the conclusions they’ve drawn from their data, are totally worthless.”
40 responses so far ↓
1 prettyold // Nov 17, 2007 at 8:50 pm
That would take in Hollywood ,Cal.too wouldn’t it ? This is REIT smart of Pres. Bush. After the water rises ,he can stick in some Tubes of Air ,so we can all go down and see how the rich used to live. Nobel winner Gore has a lot of oceanfront ,doesn’t he? He” be so relieved to get rid of tha ,I’ll bet.
2 prettyold // Nov 17, 2007 at 8:51 pm
Now that I think on it ,if Al is just sitting on the shore ,he has a lot of Oceanfront.
3 mindknumbed kid // Nov 17, 2007 at 9:09 pm
Marvelous idea, I wonder if they will take on any investors ? Count me in. Who do I contact - Scott ?
4 prettyold // Nov 17, 2007 at 9:28 pm
If the Rich Libs take Bush up on his offer ,our retired President and sing,
‘ This Land is My land , this land is my land,
From California to the New York Island.”
Won’t it seem funny to think of the Libs all living in flyover country?
5 Tinman // Nov 17, 2007 at 9:52 pm
We always figured we bought ocean front property here in AZ.
6 Hawkeye // Nov 17, 2007 at 10:10 pm
I’d be more worried about those global-warming induced hurricanes than I would about the sea level rising 20 feet.
7 Fred Sinclair // Nov 18, 2007 at 12:12 am
Greenland got it’s name because it used to be green. I’ve read about the grapes they grew and how they were noted for their fine wines. Also is the projection from the oil industry that their research indicates multi billions even trillions of barrels of oil under the ice. Anyway, if Darwin got anything right, it’s the fact that either way, humans will adapt.
I believe that the history books of the future will record That Global Warming was once called “Manmade” Global Warming. However after spending trilllions of dollars, America, Great Britain, Canada and Australia finally realized they were the only ones spending money on this hoax.
The Sierra Club was outlawed, and promoters of the scam were all imprisoned. Algore’s Nobel Prize was revoked, his “Oscar” was repossessed. The liberals were rounded up and spent the remainder of their lives making license plates.
Which explains the line atop all 50 states license plates that reads “IT WAS THE SUN, STUPID!”
Heirborn Ranger
8 Fred Sinclair // Nov 18, 2007 at 12:28 am
If you haven’t been rolling on the floor laughing your head off, lately - go to DRUDGE and click on the headline. I’ll bet nobody can read the whole article with a straight face. I still have tears of laughter streaming down my face.
WARMING WARNING OF ‘UNRECOGNIZABLE’ EARTH
It’s a hoot!
Heirborn Ranger
9 Fred Sinclair // Nov 18, 2007 at 12:56 am
Another hoot on DRUDGE just now:
S Americans ‘wondering if Winter will ever end’ as Buenos Aires sees lowest temps in 90 years…
English newspapers headlining: “Al Gore proven wrong.” Brazil and Argentina caught in grip of coldest winter except for 1914 & 1917.
Heirborn Ranger
10 mig // Nov 18, 2007 at 7:03 am
Frost is on the pumpkin, its’ time for apple dunkin, it’s winter time again…
Global Warming is reminiscent of original sin. When the snake says to Eve; you can be like God: eat from the tree of knowledge. Again we are told but by a different snake: Al; that we are changing the weather and ultimately life on earth, we are God.
11 gafisher // Nov 18, 2007 at 7:38 am
Hollywood strikes can get dirty, but in leaking the script for “The Day After The Day After Tomorrow” the comedy writers may have gone too far.
12 Darthmeister // Nov 18, 2007 at 9:48 am
Actually I wouldn’t mind if Illinois becomes more like Florida weatherwise. It appears the northern hemisphere is getting warmer while the southern hemisphere is getting cooler, probably a perfectly normal, long-cycle phenomenon. So I guess instead of Global Warming it should be called Hemispherical Warming.
AP - Baghdad
Another grim milestone was passed today as another Iraqi civilian was grimly killed in the nationwide civil war which is raging across Iraq but is being kept secret by the Bush Administration which is grimly loathed to report the utter failure of it’s grimly illegal and immoral war in Iraq.
Factoring in the other 499 Iraqi civilians who were grimly killed yesterday and whose bodies have yet to be found, this would set yet another grim milestone that Iraqis have grimly suffered since America’s invasion. Such grimness was never experienced under Saddam’s regime when the sky was always blue, the grass was always green and the pomegranates were always ripe.
Reports of dogs being grimly run over by American soldiers in their Bradley fighting machines continue to grimly trickle in to western reporters who are forced to stay in their grim hotel rooms because of the nationwide civil war.
Yet, despite all this grimness, Iraqi residents by the tens of thousands are grimly returning to homes to begin their grim existence under the very grim governanace of the new Iraqi government which is said to be democratic but really isn’t democratic because its grimly unlike the Jeffersonian democracy in our own America where porno is virtually free, abortions can be tax-paid, and violent crime is the result of an armed police force which is stirring up a hornet’s nest of trouble among gang members and other misunderstood garden-variety
murdererscriminalssocial outcasts.Because of the continued grim violence in Iraq, highly-placed, anonymous historians are now saying President Bush’s legacy hangs grimly in the balance.
13 Darthmeister // Nov 18, 2007 at 9:48 am
… grimly pushing.
14 Beerme // Nov 18, 2007 at 10:17 am
I haven’t seen the prices of this type of property dropping, yet. What gives? Don’t people listen to Nobel laureates with their wallets?
Maybe it’s some kind of Cheney/Halliburton trick…(“These are not the prices you are seeking for your beachfront property”)
15 mig // Nov 18, 2007 at 1:51 pm
I feel the grim outlook. I share your pain. I feel for you, brother grim.
16 mig // Nov 18, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Brother Grim… Reaping heartache at every turn.
17 Darthmeister // Nov 18, 2007 at 2:28 pm
If the oceans are going to rise forty feet I’m going to start up some Sea World type franchises … or maybe a few floating hotels.
“Mommy, there’s a dolphin in our backyard and seaweed in our vineyard!”
18 Fred Sinclair // Nov 18, 2007 at 3:03 pm
Then there is the possibility that Algore saw the movie “Waterworld” and didn’t realize it was only a fictional movie. In a grossly altered mind set he became ‘aware’ that it was really a documentary broght back from the future by a time traveler to warn everyone of the coming disaster.
ATTENTION Algore, relax, chill out and fire up another doobie - it was only a MOVIE! Honestly. You really ought to back back off that Mary Jewjuanna. That stuff will get to you after awhile and you’ll begin seeing spots floating in the air and you might start thinking you’re feeling warmer.
Heirborn Ranger
19 RedPepper // Nov 18, 2007 at 3:15 pm
Quoth the Goracle, “Life’s a beach!â€
20 Darthmeister // Nov 18, 2007 at 4:07 pm
Democrats: Bush Is Hindering New Iraq Approach
I think they have a legitimate point this time. I guess President Bush is hindering the Dhimmiecrats’ attempt to surrender in Iraq.
Good thing.
21 Blogs For Victory » The Latest “We’re All Gonna Die!!!” IPCC Report // Nov 18, 2007 at 5:06 pm
[...] Scrappleface completely disposes of the climate change [...]
22 Effeminem // Nov 18, 2007 at 5:26 pm
I dunno, based on what I’ve read, there’s a good chance that there is man-made global warming. Of course, it’s more likely a good thing than bad.
What the environmentalists fail to understand is that the only way to save the planet in the long run is to maintain economic growth so that we can develop clean technologies. We’ll need them when the oil runs out anyway.
23 Effeminem // Nov 18, 2007 at 5:28 pm
ping.. ping..
24 Effeminem // Nov 18, 2007 at 5:31 pm
rush hour each morning
the earth begins warming
at night it cools
25 egospeak // Nov 18, 2007 at 6:31 pm
ET - where ya at bud?
I pour out my heart in two ridiculously long and detailed posts, trying to answer your question and all you can come back with is mockery ( prescient?) in reply to a very short third post, and a claim that I was trying to change the subject (from the second post). I know you can do better than that. Let me make it easier for you.
In my opinion, the basic principles of FDR’s Democrat party were:
1. A belief in big government.
2. A belief that it is the responsibility of government to take care of people (which flows out of the 1st belief).
3. A belief in high taxes, especially on the rich (although the definition of rich gets lower every year) which naturally follows after the first two beliefs.
4. A belief in Judicial activism. See FDR’s attempt to pack the Supreme Court.
5. A somewhat confused belief in the purpose of the military.
The basic principles are the same, what is different is the motivation behind them. Today those principles are motivated by a lust for power and control and are wholly cynical.
BTW, the Federalist vs Anti-Federalist illustration was not an attempt to change the subject, it was simply a throwaway comment to show how long the debate had been going on. I’m sorry if that caused some confusion on your part.
Anxiously awaiting your reply, I remain your pal,
Regards,
26 JamesonLewis3rd // Nov 18, 2007 at 6:31 pm
What we need is another Krakatoa-like explosion (for all we know, we have just returned to “normal” after that event)-Yellowstone could blow a major portion of the USA into the Atmosphere all the way up to Outer Space, for example-it could happen before I hit the Submit button.
In my opinion, this GW farce is amazing in that it demonstrates a myopia of phenomenal, nay, epic proportions.
A couple of warm Northern Hemisphere years do not a trend make. The context and scope of Global Climate over Time (many millennia) should be taken into account because, when they are, well…..There’s nothing new under the sun.
27 Darthmeister // Nov 18, 2007 at 7:14 pm
Is it my imagination or is the left starting to wear apocalyptic sandwhich boards? Remember how Alvin Tofler of “Future Shock” fame predicted all kind of bad things happening like running out of oil by the 1990s if mankind didn’t repent and change his ways?
28 Fred Sinclair // Nov 18, 2007 at 7:21 pm
Effeminem #22
Based on what I’ve read, Global warming is very real, just as Global Cooling was in 1975 (same scientist) - “The Iceball Theory” (glaciers will cover the earth to a depth of one mile)
The “Manmade” factor represents about 7/10ths of one percent of the total or an amount equal to about 7/10ths of a penny as relates to a dollar. aka The ‘Manmade Global Warming Hoax’ which if not exposed will result in trillions of dollars being spent to correct a “The sky is falling” non-event.
Certain folks stand to become richer than Buffett, Soros and Gates combined, (the world’s first trillionaire?) - that’s a thousand billion! “Manmade” my left foot! The greatest scam/hoax in our planet’s history.
Thousands of real scientist are now being heard - “Global Warming” is a natural occurance as it has been throughout time. The are in agreement that science proves that our own sun is responsible.
Heirborn Ranger
29 MajorDomo // Nov 18, 2007 at 8:20 pm
As my Grandpa, GeneralDomo, once said, “Ice occupied four times the volume of water.” So where is the ice that it would take to raise the ocens’ level 20 feet? Let’s see… 20 times the area of the earths oceans = …Hmmmm…. a lot! But wait: Now I get it! First we’ll have an Ice Age!
30 Fred Sinclair // Nov 19, 2007 at 5:08 am
From Google, Yahoo “Ice volume”
“What If All the Ice Melts?” Myths and Realities
by Wm. Robert Johnston
last updated 29 December 2005
“If we keep using cars, the ice caps will melt and we’ll all drown!” This is a myth, just as false as fearing the Sun will die as a result of using solar power. However, as often as I hear it-particularly from people who should know better-I thought I would address it here. First, here is a summary of the facts:
Despite what you may have been told, it has NOT been proven that human-caused global warming is occurring, and in fact there is substantial reason to reject such claims.
The best explanation for the evidence is that whatever global warming trend exists is mostly the result of natural influences like variations in the climate system and variations in solar radiation.
The suggestions that human activities will cause significant changes in global temperature and sea level in the next century are flawed predictions which haven’t been confirmed by observations.
The solutions to this apparently non-existent problem proposed by environmentalists would not have a significant effect on climate, but they would cause a significant amount of human suffering.
Based on what we know now, in the next 100 years a rise in sea level of 0.1 meters (4 inches) would not be surprising; those predicting changes of 0.5-2 meters (1.5-7 feet) are using flawed models.
If all the icecaps in the world were to melt, sea level would rise about 60-75 meters (200-250 feet). This could not result from modern human activities, and from any realistic cause would take thousands of years to occur.’
Heirborn Ranger
31 random // Nov 19, 2007 at 5:38 am
I love the image of the left on street corners: The End Times are Coming. Prepare Yourself.
I have told those lefties in my family that they sound just like fundamental preachers, not to insult the good preacher.
32 everthink // Nov 19, 2007 at 9:15 am
ET - where ya at bud?
“All you can come back with is mockery ( prescient?)” Actually, That was NOT mockery, that was truthful! It was the last straw for me, in my association with Conservatives there.
I read you long post , I asked you to give me time to reply. You agreed. Then you posted a second time before I could respond to the first. Worse, in your second post you denied the premise of your of your first.
There was no contest, you offered me your views. A response in detail, would be too long to post here, it would be meaningless to you, and this junior high would only find ways to twist the words for “intellectual sport”
I’m not your bud, are you a trucker be attche!
ET
33 everthink // Nov 19, 2007 at 11:23 am
That “party that looks after the little guy†reputation arose during The Great Depression; a time when Democrats brought about effective answers to problems that greatly plagued the nation.
Social Security may be all that remains of the New Deal; but, I believe it was the Work Projects Administration (WPA) and the Civilian Conservation Corps (CCC) established this reputation. It was WPA and the CCC provided opportunities for the multitudes unemployed, while financing many very important infra-structure improvements, and works of art at low cost; but, it also provided the economic “pump priming†vital to America’s economic recovery.
This in contrast to Herbert Hoover’s “Efficiency Movement†which played a vital role in cause of “The Depressionâ€, and its exacerbation, which in turn led to the sorry reputation of Republicans, of that period, and even today as party of fat cats and “lassez-faire” capitalism.
34 everthink // Nov 19, 2007 at 12:15 pm
“I believe the escalation of our involvement in Vietnam (beyond Kennedy’s advisers) and the Tonkin Bay resolution fiasco of the Johnson Administration to be on par with the actions and justifications of Bush Administrations actions today.
ET
35 everthink // Nov 19, 2007 at 12:45 pm
“The Chicago Convention was a key part of this as was Kent State in May 1970.”
Those were very complicated times in America, it is difficult and misleading to isolate any single event from the context in which it occurred.
I had already completed my full military obligation in 1970. At the time, I believed we could destroy any foe, and if Vietnam provoked us, we would make “short work†of them.
I held protesters in contempt! I didn’t like them, or their methods, but, since I wasn’t willing to re-enlist, unlike so many today, I thought it my place to remain silent.
As the years of that war dragged on, in the absence of suitable table arraignments at The Paris Peace Talks, I began like many, to count the terrible cost to America, and to question both the value of success, and the price of withdrawal.
Today it appears to me, the only thing lost in Vietnam was the lives of our best young men, great treasure. And some kind of foolish pride that wasn’t worth more lives.
ET
36 everthink // Nov 19, 2007 at 12:52 pm
“Phase two began with the election of Ronald Reagan. Liberal Democrats couldn’t believe that the people of America could have been take in by that “amiable dunceâ€, not just once…but TWICE.”
I think that should be just “Democrats”, me among them; not just “Liberal†Democrats.
Jimmy Carters paid a high price for his “Framework for Peace in the Middle East,†initiative which culminated in the 1978 “Camp David Accordsâ€, were the match that lit the fire of the Islamic Revolution in Iran in 1979, and the taking of the taking hostage of more than 50 Americans for 444 days.
The release on those hostages on Inauguration of Ronald Reagan demonstrated the power of Islamic counties to have a major impact on America. I don’t know whether the Reagan Campaign had made a deal prior to assuming office or not, but think it was not unreasonable to be suspicious.
Carter’s efforts to deal with America dependence on foreign oil, by offering tax credits for the development and use of alternative fuels, in addition to economy measures were quickly abandoned by the Reagan Administration, it was as though American energy dependence was no longer at issue.
I believe that the deregulation of so many things placed too much trust in business to do the right thing, to often this was not the beginning of competition, but the end; since the Robber Barons†just had more to spread around.
ET
37 everthink // Nov 19, 2007 at 1:32 pm
“The key moment during the Reagan administration was the confirmation hearing for Robert Bork as Associate Justice of the Supreme Court. That was the beginning of the politics of personal destruction.â€
That is the Advise and CONSENT provision in the Constitution. The Judicial Branch of our federal government is co-equal with the Executive and Legislative Branches. It should be free of political influence. Bork’s appoint by Reagan raised real concerns in this area because of his involvement in the firing incident is known as the “Saturday Night Massacreâ€. This alone should have been reason enough to disqualify his confirmation by the Senate.
ET
38 everthink // Nov 19, 2007 at 1:38 pm
“beginning of the politics of personal destruction.”
Maybe you should read more about Karl Rove’s idol Lee Atwater, The “happy hatchet man” or , “the Darth Vader of the Republican party”.
ET
39 everthink // Nov 19, 2007 at 1:52 pm
“The third phase began with the election of a Republican Congress in November of 1994.”
“The key moment was actually 7 years earlier when the Fairness Doctrine was scuttled, conservative talk radio began its ascent and the MSM finally had some competition.”
I do not agree with your contention that MSM is biased.
“If it had not been for conservative talk radio pointing out the utter corruption of the Democrat party (the abuses of the House bank, the check kiting scandel, etc) the socialist plans of the Clinton administration, (HillaryHealth) while at the same time trumpeting the Contract with America, it is unlikely that Republicans would have won a majority in 1994″
“utter corruption†- UTTER HYPERBOLE, “ the socialist plans of the Clinton administration†indeed! We are the only industrialized nation in the world, without what conservatives call “socialized medicineâ€
Conservative talk radio has been under attack since then. Is it any wonder that President Clinton accused Rush Limbaugh in specific and talk radio in general for the bombing of the Murrah Building in Oklahoma City in 1995?
I agree with the statements you attribute to President Clinton. Conservative Republican talk radio does not argue issues; it attacks the motives of the opposition, and demonizes the Democratic Party with words like “Socialistâ€. It characterizes individuals as un-American, morally unfit. It always questions the loyalty and patriotism of Democrats.
40 everthink // Nov 19, 2007 at 2:28 pm
“The road to impeachment in 1998 led to the next phase, with the creation of web sites like Moveon.org”
I support, and have worked with, MoveOn in the past, and likely will in the next election. Why is WhatMoveon.org bad, while Rush, who has a much larger audience, bad. “General Petraeus or General Betray Us?” is a question, not a statement! I don’t think Rush apologize if he had ask this important question.
This was accelerated by the election of 2000 and the refusal of the steadily growing leftwing fringe to accept that Bush had actually won. Bush was regarded as illegitimate and the “stolen †election of 2004 only served to reinforce this notion.
I am one of those who have not accepted the award of the presidency to Bush in 2000, I would not consider it unreasonable if Gore had won, and you, under the same circumstances, felt as Democrats do.
If there had not been a Republican majority in Congress, we could have had a better look Florida, Jeb Bush, Kathryn Harris. I don’t care if some Democrat idiot (yes we have more than one, too!) approved that Butterfly Ballot or not, it was a bad ballot. There should have been a re-vote where it was used.
But, Republicans wanted to take their “victory” and run.
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