(2007-10-16) — As the Colorado Rockies swept Arizona in the National League Championship Series, boosting their recent record to 21-1, Democrats in the Senate called for public hearings into “potential issues of injustice.”
“When one business dominates others the way the Rockies have, it’s clearly not fair,” said Sen. Ted Kennedy, D-MA, whose home state Boston Red Sox are down 2-1 in the American League Championship Series against Cleveland. “I’m prepared to propose legislation that would levy an excess runs tax on any team in the 7-to-10 game win-streak bracket, and would make it retroactive to the beginning of September.”
Under the Kennedy measure, dubbed ‘No Franchise Left Behind’, 35 percent of runs scored by dominant teams would be “redistributed to struggling squads who can’t buy a break, thus imposing fairness and justice for all.”
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9 responses so far ↓
1 conserve-a-tips // Oct 16, 2007 at 7:59 am
May America return to God as a Blessing to Him
2 Striving for social justice - U.S. Politics Online: A Political Discussion Forum // Oct 16, 2007 at 8:26 am
[...] for social justice From Scrapple Face [...]
3 Ms RightWing, Ink // Oct 16, 2007 at 8:34 am
Geesh, I wonder what they are going to do if the weenie Cleveland Indians beat the historic Red Sox. Will the Bostonians get mad and toss their team in the bay along with cases of tea
4 The Rockies Are For Real Midweek Open Trackbacks | Adam's Blog // Oct 16, 2007 at 9:24 am
[...] could happen including the team having their wins taxed by Ted Kennedy. But for now, the Rockies are the NL Champions and we eagerly await the winner of the [...]
5 camojack // Oct 16, 2007 at 9:30 am
Another sweep?! Hoo boy…
6 gafisher // Oct 16, 2007 at 9:58 am
Runs, touchdowns, goals — how long must we go on awarding these tokens to those who, through training, innate skill and providence happen to beat others to an arbitrary advantage? It is time to recognize effort; no, intent as the true measure of accomplishment. In fairness to both the winners and the runners-up in life’s cruel lottery it is time for all “points” accumulated by any team or player during an event to be shared by all players, so that the final results of any sporting event will now include two winning teams (or two winning players in individual sports) and a cumulative score. At the end of the season those cumulative scores can be further divided, so that all teams and players will end the season equal, as our founders demanded.
7 onlineanalyst // Oct 16, 2007 at 10:31 am
Leave it to the Tedster to tackle a running deficit with more taxes.
8 da Bunny // Oct 16, 2007 at 10:34 am
How about imposing a tax on “past it,” drunken, manslaughtering Senators who “dominate” the Senatorial elections in the People’s Republic of Taxachussetts? Isn’t it time to “redistribute” Kennedy’s seat to someone with functioning brain cells?
9 debass // Oct 16, 2007 at 12:00 pm
Don’t forget the racial makeup of the teams. A quota system should be immediately instituted in the NBA and all sports where the team does not reflect the proportions of race in the general population.
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