(2007-07-31) — An amendment to the House lobbying reform bill would completely eliminate the power of legislators to allocate taxpayer dollars to pet projects through anonymous “earmarks” and replace it with a “totally reformed concept” which would allow lawmakers to allocate taxpayer dollars to pet projects through anonymous “nosemarks.”
“This is landmark legislation,” said one unnamed House aide. “The age of corrupt politicians paying off corrupt lobbyists with funding earmarks is over. We have absolutely eliminated Congressional earmarking.”
While the text of the measure doesn’t specify all the ways in which nosemarks are different than earmarks, the amendment’s unnamed author said the difference is “dramatically semantic — which should provide comfort to taxpayers concerned about how Congress describes the way we waste their money.”
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59 responses so far ↓
1 gafisher // Jul 31, 2007 at 6:40 am
Nosemarks? These are noserings that lobbyists use to lead their pet Congresspets around.
God Bless America!
Please?!?
2 Hawkeye // Jul 31, 2007 at 6:49 am
the amendment’s unnamed author said the difference is “dramatically semantic”
Funny stuff as usual Scott
The Dems ran on a platform to eliminate earmarks, and they have done just the opposite… they’ve increased the number of earmarks dramatically. Why am I not surprised?
3 conserve-a-tips // Jul 31, 2007 at 6:59 am
Actually, I heard a blurb on our news last night that our Senator Tom Coburn, (”Dr. No” to most in Congress”) is trying to get rid of all body parts marked in those hallowed chambers. That has been his crusade and I’m putting my money on him winning by a nose.
4 Hawkeye // Jul 31, 2007 at 7:00 am
Check this out on earmarks
Just a few highlights…
After the 2006 congressional elections, Speaker Pelosi said “we will bring transparency and openness to the budget process and to the use of earmarks, and we will give the American people the leadership they deserve.”
The use of earmarks is increasing dramatically. In 1994 there were 4,126 earmarks inserted in legislation, and by 2005 the there were 15,877. But after promises of reforms from Speaker Pelosi, there were more than 32,000 earmarks requested in just the Homeland Security appropriation legislation. Rather than live up to her promises of ‘transparency’ Speaker Pelosi said, “Why don’t we leave here today forgetting the word earmark?” She suggested that earmarks be called “legislative directives” instead.
This is the same Nancy Pelosi that said, “I don’t care if we don’t get a single bill out of committee the whole time I’m Speaker — just as long as we’re open and honest about where we’re at.” Next we will hear that she will redefine taxes as ‘donations’.
5 gafisher // Jul 31, 2007 at 7:07 am
“…we will give the American people the leadership they deserve.”
Sounds remarkably like a threat, doesn’t it, Hawkeye?
6 Roguet55 // Jul 31, 2007 at 7:32 am
re:4
Talk about “DONATIONS”, we of the sovereign state
of Wisconsin, “Donate” plenty, but the Dims feel it’s not enough. Since they have stolen most of the states hiway fund for “balancing” the budget for theie earmarks.
Next Universal healthcare for th poor, propelled by 300%
+ increases in “SIN” taxes. Those same sin taxes seem to be on the backs of those very poor the Dims want to “HELP” GO FIGURE!
7 Ms RightWing, Ink // Jul 31, 2007 at 7:32 am
Wouldn’t “The Schnozzola” Jimmy Durante be pleased” with such great legislation
Inka Dinka Doo, Mrs. Calabash
8 MargeinMI // Jul 31, 2007 at 7:37 am
Nosemarks, eh? Why do I get the feeling they’re just ‘blowing their noses in our general direction’?
Quick! Duck!
Mornin’ all!
9 camojack // Jul 31, 2007 at 7:52 am
I’d like to replace ‘em with fist marks, but oh well…
10 RedPepper // Jul 31, 2007 at 7:53 am
This smells funny …
11 Shelly // Jul 31, 2007 at 8:08 am
Funny how Congressmen’s identities need to be kept so secret, given that they’re so sure they’re doing the “right” thing.
Kind of reminds me of wearing hoods…maybe instead of marks they should be holes? Eye-holes or nose-holes?
12 Darthmeister // Jul 31, 2007 at 8:15 am
I think I need to blow my nose … or maybe a good number of Congresscritters do!
Our Dem governor made a promise four years ago not to raise taxes. So, commensurately he created new “fees” and raised some old “fees”. Donks are extremely well-versed in this kind of semantical governance. So where’s the satire?
13 Darthmeister // Jul 31, 2007 at 8:17 am
Congresscritters are just a higher order of thieves and robbers. They are today’s equivalent to robber barons … they rob the taxpayers until our own cupboards are barren.
14 Maggie // Jul 31, 2007 at 8:53 am
Good Morning All:
First we heard an earfull about earmarks.Now we must endure the constant drip drip dripping of “nosemarks”.
Can’t they all just be blown away….?
‘Puff ‘ they’re gone
15 Maggie // Jul 31, 2007 at 10:12 am
Ms Righty….re #7
Funny you should mention that.Yesterday we stopped in Calabash,SC to have lunch, on our way home from Myrtle Beach,SC.There were pictures of Mrs Calabash on the resturant walls and sayings by JimmyDurante about her.
FYI….While there, we saw the Temptations and the Four Tops at the Alabama Theater.WONDERFUL.
16 Just Ranting // Jul 31, 2007 at 10:13 am
This version of trickle down economics is a real booger.
17 Fred Sinclair // Jul 31, 2007 at 10:59 am
In the classic play Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare, Juliet speaks the immortal lines - “that which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet”.
The issue is that Romeo is a Montague - the hated enemies of Juliet’s family, the Capulets. Juliet has just seen Romeo at a party and fallen in love with him. He would be perfect for her - if only he wasn’t part of the Montague family.
Her sad pondering says:
O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father, and refuse thy name;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I’ll no longer be a Capulet.
’Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself though, not a Montague.
What’s Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O! be some other name:
What’s in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call’d,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name;
And for that name, which is no part of thee,
Take all myself.’
Obviously an earmark by any other name would smell just as putrid. (decaying or rotting and emitting a foul smell) And the “nosemarks” sound as if they will pretty much inherently carry the same distinctly foul odor as the former earmarks.
Basic Politics 101 - (a) The people tell the government what to do. (b) The government tells the people what to do.
As with the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics - all the Liberal Democrat platform seeks is to have total control of every aspect of your lives (including what kind of oil you are permitted to use when cooking your french fries)
The” Robin Hood” Syndrome (Updated) ‘To rob from the workers and give to ourselves’ (Certainly it’s a wonder, how slightly (if at all) this syndrome differs from plain old fashioned robbery.
Heirborn Ranger
18 Hawkeye // Jul 31, 2007 at 11:44 am
gafisher #5,
Indeed! A threat they have already begun to carry out with enthusiasm.
19 beekabok2 // Jul 31, 2007 at 11:44 am
hello there folks. Long time no see. I have been busy just making it through each day. God is with me and my son and I are making it. Redpepper, thanks for the emails. I will try to get back on when I can to help with the witty repartee
John
20 Ms RightWing, Ink // Jul 31, 2007 at 11:48 am
re:15
Maggie, sounds like ya’ll had a whole heap of fun. As for the Mrs Calabash most people know not from whenst that came from.
I must have been thinking of you when that came to mind. Nap time, I’m out. Bye
21 Hawkeye // Jul 31, 2007 at 11:52 am
Actually, this plan makes perfect sense. It used to be that the Congresscritters “listened” for loose change (hence “earmarks”). Now they just “sniff-out” the dollars wherever they can find ‘em (hence “nosemarks”).
22 Hawkeye // Jul 31, 2007 at 12:02 pm
Ms RW,
“Good night Mrs. Calabash… wherever you are”.
“Everybody wants ta get inta da act!”
“Hot-cha-cha-cha-cha!”
23 Darthmeister // Jul 31, 2007 at 1:11 pm
beekabok2,
John, I’ve thought of you and your son particularly last week and sent some prayerful requests out to the Great Governor of the Universe. I hope you’ve been comforted these last few months with a peace which surpasses all human understanding. Godspeed, dear brother.
BTW, just thinking about Congress in session now gives me a nosebleed.
24 Ms RightWing, Ink // Jul 31, 2007 at 1:42 pm
Sounds like the Democraps are full of snot, unless your Michael Jackson, in which you are full of putty.
Did you know:
In humans the nasal cycle is the normal ultradian cycle of each nostril’s blood vessels becoming engorged in swelling, then shrinking. During the course of a day they will switch over approximately every four hours or so. Meaning that only one nostril is used at any one time.
25 Ms RightWing, Ink // Jul 31, 2007 at 1:44 pm
er, in which case you are full of putty
26 JamesonLewis3rd // Jul 31, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Nostril conservation is crucial.
27 prettyold // Jul 31, 2007 at 2:05 pm
I suppose next Congress will call them “skidmarks” . It figures. As soon as they get the taxes ,the money is down the toilet.
28 beekabok2 // Jul 31, 2007 at 3:29 pm
Thank you Darth.
I just realized a few hours ago that today it has been exactly 6 months. Still doesn’t seem possible.
29 Maggie // Jul 31, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Prettyold….re#27
You are such a Hoot….. :>) lol
30 conserve-a-tips // Jul 31, 2007 at 3:44 pm
I have an idea!! Call your congressmen and women!! Call your president!! Call the dogs!! Insist that an ammendment be included to demand all Democrats take a healthy dose of the antihistamine, Benadryl, so that they can all dry up!! The phones - they are a’waitin’!
31 boberinyetagain // Jul 31, 2007 at 3:48 pm
This actually makes lot of sense because i believe that ears are nearly as distictive as fingerprints. It follows then that those that don’t want their actions traced would switch body parts to something less distinct. i’m guessing that the typical nose doesn’t leave an identifiable print, thus the choice.
Hi gang, how’s tricks?
32 conserve-a-tips // Jul 31, 2007 at 3:58 pm
I don’t know about the rest, boberin, but I’m tricky as ever! Heh, heh.
33 boberinyetagain // Jul 31, 2007 at 4:16 pm
I’ve had the tricky beat out of me lately, very busy at work but that beats the alternative I suppose.
34 Beerme // Jul 31, 2007 at 4:53 pm
Skidmarks is right! ‘Cause that’s what they’s doin’ ta us!
35 Beerme // Jul 31, 2007 at 5:39 pm
Apparently, for the right money, a Democrat will switch parties. So much for the culture of corruption…
36 JamesonLewis3rd // Jul 31, 2007 at 6:03 pm
I assert that this does not pass the Smell Test.
37 JamesonLewis3rd // Jul 31, 2007 at 6:45 pm
“Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Nose knows!”
38 onlineanalyst // Jul 31, 2007 at 7:10 pm
I guess that the wait will be even longer for the Dems to dump Karl Marx.
39 conserve-a-tips // Jul 31, 2007 at 7:28 pm
I’m wondering why they decided to give them the nose in this bill, anyway…I mean, wouldn’t it have been more appropriate for them to give the finger?????
James # 36: Oh, it smells alright.
40 conserve-a-tips // Jul 31, 2007 at 7:29 pm
Oh my gosh!! I just posted and as I scrolled down a little, just under the submit comment bar I noticed that what I had typed was in a preview section. It’s underneath instead of above. Huh. It even says “You said:” Cool, huh???? Yippee. It’s back, albeit a bit lower.
41 Ms RightWing, Ink // Jul 31, 2007 at 9:28 pm
c-a-t
Huh? My comment box is on top? Does that mean I’m schpeesal.
As I was pondering noses and Democrats Barbara Streisand’s nose came to mind-don’t know why, it just did.
42 conserve-a-tips // Jul 31, 2007 at 9:32 pm
Ms Rightwing, Ink: I think that it means that I am lower than you??? I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy!
How could Barbara Streisands nose Not come to mind?
43 RedPepper // Jul 31, 2007 at 10:04 pm
beekabok2: John, sorry I wasn’t here earlier to say hello - but as they say, better late than never. Good to see you back here commenting.
I’ll be darned. Preview is down there! Marvelous!
Skidmarks indeed, prettyold! Mebbe they should call ‘em “tread marks” … as in, left by the get-away car …
44 JamesonLewis3rd // Aug 1, 2007 at 7:09 am
There are certain times when one should forgo doing what one wants to do.
That’s just my opinion, of course.
45 Darthmeister // Aug 1, 2007 at 7:13 am
#35 Beerme,
I guess it goes to show ya, within every Republican there’s a corrupt Democrat fighting to act out.
Hey, Preview is working!
46 Shelly // Aug 1, 2007 at 7:35 am
beerme and Darth, the corrupt Dem Speaker of the House who paid that Dem to switch is now facing sentences of 18 months and 63 months, to be served concurrently, and is awaiting sentence on a third charge. NC Dems must be so proud…
47 conserve-a-tips // Aug 1, 2007 at 8:10 am
Redpepper re # 43: Yes! Treadmarks ~ as in “Don’t tread on me.”
48 JamesonLewis3rd // Aug 1, 2007 at 8:22 am
We would be remiss if at least one of us didn’t mention Grouchomarks.
49 Fred Sinclair // Aug 1, 2007 at 8:40 am
scrapple |ˈskrapəl| noun scraps of pork or other meat stewed with cornmeal and shaped into loaves for slicing and frying, esp. characteristic of eastern Pennsylavania. ORIGIN mid 19th cent.: diminutive of the noun scrap 1 .
I suppose that “scrapplemarks” would include both the nose and ears (among other things)
Since they are going to rob us anyway, I’ll vote for Scrapplemarks!
Heirborn Ranger
50 Darthmeister // Aug 1, 2007 at 8:52 am
Lightsabers anyone?
They have the sounds of lightsaber battle but don’t have the requisite sparks of two plasma beams clashing. But not bad. There are some YouTube amateur videos that have created very convincing light saber battle scenes. Just do a search, some of it is every bit as good as what George Lucas did for his “Star Wars” universe.
51 Fred Sinclair // Aug 1, 2007 at 9:01 am
I made a few adjustments to today’s ‘Mikey’s Funnys’ - still too close to home to be really funny.
The Liberal Left Democrat Government in power. Or, “Mrs. Bill Clinton wants your vote.”
UNDERSTANDING YOUR PAYCHECK
Gross pay: $1,222.02
Income Tax: $244.40
Outgo Tax: $45.21
State Tax: $61.10
Interstate Tax: $5.89
County Tax: $6.11
City Tax: $12.22
Rural Tax: $4.44
Manmade Global Warming Tax: $358.61
Stadium Tax: $.69
Flat Tax: $8.32
Surtax: $3.46
Parking Fee: $5.00
No Parking Fee: $10.00
F.I.C.A.: $81.88
T.G.I.F.: $9.95
Life Insurance: $5.85
Health Insurance: $16.23
Disability: $2.50
Liability: $3.41
Dental Insurance: $4.50
Mental Insurance: $4.33
Coffee: $6.85
Coffee Cups: $66.51
Calendar: $3.06
Chair Rental: $.32
Desk Rental: $4.32
Union Dues: $5.85
Cash Advances: $.69
Overtime: $1.26
GMT: $24.00
Oxygen: $10.02
Water: $16.54
Electricity: $38.23
Heat: $51.42
Air: $46.83
Miscellaneous: $154.54
Take Home Pay: $.02
Where we got the expression, “Here’s my two cents worth.”
Heirborn Ranger
52 Could Earmarks Get this Ridiculous | Adam's Blog // Aug 1, 2007 at 11:10 am
[...] sad thing is that Scrapple Face isn’t far from reality with this satire of the current earmarks [...]
53 conserve-a-tips // Aug 1, 2007 at 11:17 am
Fred: You forgot “gasoline tax” - 42¢ which leaves you with a grand total of -42¢. In other words your 2¢ ain’t worth squat!
54 conserve-a-tips // Aug 1, 2007 at 11:18 am
Excuse me - that would be minus 40¢. I gra-jee-ated the fifth grade.
55 Ms RightWing, Ink // Aug 1, 2007 at 11:25 am
Must bee them thar publik skools whitch is doin’ a rat fyn job of edEkated ya’ll
Boy, my spell check is smoking on that one. Better go let it cool down
56 Darthmeister // Aug 1, 2007 at 1:37 pm
From Sgt. 1st Class Jack Robison - in Iraq:
It’s too late to say I’m going to bring all my soldiers home, which was my naive goal when we first arrived, but I’m bringing everyone home whom I can, and I won’t hesitate to rain hell on a house just because somebody inside might not be shooting at us.
These are not people you let escape if you can help it. They are not “freedom fighters” as some ridiculously stupid people have suggested. These people regularly kill whole Iraqi families, cut off the heads of Iraqi civilians, and show complete disregard for any life but their own. The only freedom they fight for is the freedom to maintain the law of the gun. Most Iraqis know this and will tell us enthusiastically that they wish we would hurry up and win, but they’ll only tell us behind closed doors, usually in the absence of other Iraqis, for fear of informers. Many stop short of actually helping us. If they are found out, they’re almost certain to be killed.
…A corner has been turned. Every soldier, sailor, airman and Marine in Ar Ramadi, along with a few hundred thousand Iraqi civilians, knows it and is better off for it.
A corner, not the corner. Unfortunately, this war is still very much in progress. If certain people in the legislative branch are bound and determined to lose it, I’m sure they’ll be able to, but it won’t be lost by us. While they point fingers and manipulate public opinion in our name, we are doing what we came here to do: fight and win.
57 Sysiphus // Aug 1, 2007 at 6:08 pm
Darthmeister, re: #56.
Where is that from? I’m here in Ar Ramadi, and I’d like to find that 1SG and buy him a (non-alcoholic) beer!
58 Sysiphus // Aug 1, 2007 at 6:15 pm
Darthmeister, Re: #56
Where was that from (which publication)? I’m here in Ar Ramadi, and I wanna buy that guy a non-alcoholic beer!
59 Sysiphus // Aug 1, 2007 at 6:20 pm
And sorry for the multiples……called him a 1SG in the first post, when the quote is from a SFC
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