(2002-11-10) — An unnamed source inside the Democrat National Committee has leaked the text of a news release the party had planned to fax out last Wednesday if Democrats had held the Senate and recaptured the House.
Here is an excerpt of the news release:
(Nov. 6, 2002) — Democrats took complete control of the Congress last night thanks to a whirlwind of last minute campaign stops by former President Bill Clinton. Riding Clinton’s coattails Democrats held the Senate, gaining (INSERT #) seats, and recaptured the House, picking up (INSERT #) of seats formerly held by the GOP.
The Democrat vision of a better future captivated American voters who turned out in record numbers, thanks to Mr. Clinton and other men of integrity like Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Sen. Tom Daschle and Mr. Clinton’s former vice president, whose name escapes us.
Democrats in Congress plan to use their electoral mandate to call for meetings to discuss what might be done about the economy. They will fully support the President’s defense and security agenda, as long as the polls indicate that such a stand is prudent.
Congressional Democrats will also introduce a bill to stop criminals from buying guns. The new measure will require a waiting period based on the orbital cycle of Halley’s comet, and a license test written entirely in Latin.