(2007-03-31) — As Democrat strategists marvel at how eagerly former President Bill Clinton has leaped into raising money for wife Hillary’s presidential bid, a campaign insider today revealed that Sen. Clinton has established a series of incentives to reward her husband’s success.
As a result of hitting his goals in the month of March, Mr. Clinton has earned a trip to Disneyland and a limited edition 2007 pink Cadillac DTS. If he helps his wife beat the rival team of Sen. Barack Obama in the year’s first reporting period, which ends today, Mr. Clinton will be the guest of honor at a campaign rally, and get to walk across the stage wearing a rhinestone tiara.
Mr. Clinton’s rewards are based on personal results, as well as his ability to recruit others whose efforts contribute to his totals.
“It’s not a pyramid scheme or anything,” said one campaign insider, “It’s just an opportunity for Bill to be his own boss and develop a sense of personal worth, while earning some fabulous prizes.”
Sen. Clinton has reportedly also taken time to personally encourage her husband’s fundraising efforts with little handwritten notes containing rhyming positive affirmations like:
Don’t louse it up this time. Hill.”
32 responses so far ↓
1 MargeinMI // Mar 31, 2007 at 6:53 am
God Bless America!
2 Scott Ott // Mar 31, 2007 at 6:53 am
Bill Hits Hillary’s Fundraising Goal, Earns Pink Cadillac …
by Scott Ott(2007-03-31) — As Democrat strategists marvel at how eagerly former President Bill Clinton has leaped into raising money for wife Hillary’s presidential bid, a campaign insider today revealed that Sen. Clinton has established a series o…
3 MargeinMI // Mar 31, 2007 at 6:58 am
O.K., now I’ve actually read the post, I’m LOL!
I’ve always considered Bill the ultimate used car salesman, but now, with the image of Slick Willie in a pink caddie, perhaps Bill the Pimp comes to mind. [with profuse apologies]
Morning all!
4 MargeinMI // Mar 31, 2007 at 6:59 am
Complete with fabulous furry fedora!
5 gafisher // Mar 31, 2007 at 7:11 am
Just be really careful if he offers to help you set up any house parties, and remember to burp the Tipperware.
6 Fred Sinclair // Mar 31, 2007 at 7:15 am
A pink fedora perhaps?
Heirborn Ranger
7 University Update // Mar 31, 2007 at 7:25 am
Bill Hits Hillary's Fundraising Goal, Earns Pink Cadillac…
…
8 Hillary Clinton ‘08 » Bill Hits Hillary's Fundraising Goal, Earns Pink Cadillac // Mar 31, 2007 at 7:36 am
[...] Continued here: Scott Ott [...]
9 MargeinMI // Mar 31, 2007 at 7:44 am
Another slogan for her: “Do your best Bill. But keep your pants zipped this time.”
10 Ms RightWing, Ink // Mar 31, 2007 at 8:03 am
Shake ‘em down Bill. Just think of all the people that owe (tee hee) you something or face 10 to 20 in the Federal prison
11 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 31, 2007 at 8:07 am
It sure doesn’t say much for those people, who obviously have too much money on their hands, that the likes of the Clintons would encourage them to relinquish their funds in support of their pinko agenda.
It’s too funny that H. Clinton has to resort to parading B. Clinton before the moneyed rubes in what is basically a carnival freak show.
“Hurry! Hurry! Step inside! See the worst president that ever served!”
12 conserve-a-tips // Mar 31, 2007 at 8:49 am
Isn’t it ironic that McCain and his Democrat cohort, in establishing their “campaign finance reform” have actually brought politics full circle to “buying” the presidency again?
Somehow, Scott, the lyrics to Pink Cadillac seem very appropriate in this situation:
You may think I’m foolish
For the foolish things I do
You may wonder how come I love you
When you get on my nerves like you do
Well baby you know you bug me
There ain’t no secret ’bout that
Well come on over here and hug me
Baby I’ll spill the facts
Well honey it ain’t your money
‘Cause baby I got plenty of that
I love you for your pink Cadillac
Crushed velvet seats
Riding in the back
Oozing down the street
Waving to the girls
Feeling out of sight
Spending all my money
On a Saturday night
Honey I just wonder what you do there in back
Of your pink Cadillac
Pink Cadillac
Well now way back in the Bible
Temptations always come along
There’s always somebody tempting
Somebody into doing something they know is wrong
Well they tempt you, man, with silver
And they tempt you, sir, with gold
And they tempt you with the pleasures
That the flesh does surely hold
They say Eve tempted Adam with an apple
But man I ain’t going for that
I know it was her pink Cadillac
Crushed velvet seats
Riding in the back
Oozing down the street
Waving to the girls
Feeling out of sight
Spending all my money
On a Saturday night
Honey I just wonder what it feels like in the back
Of your pink Cadillac
Now some folks say it’s too big
And uses too much gas
Some folks say it’s too old
And that it goes too fast
But my love is bigger than a Honda
It’s bigger than a Subaru
Hey man there’s only one thing
And one car that will do
Anyway we don’t have to drive it
Honey we can park it out in back
And have a party in your pink Cadillac
13 mig // Mar 31, 2007 at 9:41 am
Speaking of Fund Raising:
Hello from Northern Iraq,
My name is SPC McCafferty and I am part of the “Soldiers Helping Those In Need IRAQ” team. On behalf of SPC Stephens and everyone involved with the project, I wanted to personally thank you for your recent blanket donation. With every blanket donated, the bridge is being gapped between the American population, to our fighting forces in Iraq, then to the people of Iraq. March has been a very positive and productive month for the project and here are the most recent updates. As of March 26th, 2007, we have received orders for 650 blankets! As a whole, SPC Stephens and his motivated team have also made some adjustments. The cut-off date for blanket donations will be May 31st, 2007, and we have decided to lift our initial goal of 2000 blankets. We feel that it should be up to America how many blankets are donated, and you have made it very clear that the generosity of Americans cannot be measured. I hope that you will continue to support our efforts by spreading the word about “Soldiers Helping Those In Need IRAQ” and blankets.com to everyone you know. As much as Stephens would have liked to email each and every one of you individually, he has been overwhelmed as of late with work and the project as a whole. When I see the look of excitment on his face everytime he receives an order, it makes all the hard work worth while. I can only imagine the feeling that we will all get the day of the big convoy. Thank you again for your donation. It’s people like you that make this job even more rewarding.
“To whom much is given, much is required”
SPC Amy McCafferty
14 TouchyFeely // Mar 31, 2007 at 10:00 am
Guess Bill can finally park the pink Cadillac without Hillary’s look of disgust.
15 RedPepper // Mar 31, 2007 at 11:10 am
Where is J. Cougar Melancholy when we need him?
L’il pink trailer trash, y’all …
16 onlineanalyst // Mar 31, 2007 at 12:10 pm
Oh, no, Mrs. Bill!
You cannot disguise the fact that that pink Cadillac is just a lighter shade of Red.
In re the Pelosi contingent to the ME (just another shadow-government move by the Dhimmis with their repeat travels to visit our enemies for some “tawk”), is the Logan Act just another paper tiger? Aren’t the roles of the three branches clearly defined in the Constitution?
17 Shelly // Mar 31, 2007 at 12:17 pm
I wonder how long it will take him to use the front seat.
(Sorry, couldn’t help myself.)
mig, thanks for the great link.
JamesonLewis3rd, I usually reserve the worst label for Carter, because he was so stunningly inept. But Clinton is so dishonest, corrupt and depraved that you now have me wondering which was actually the worst.
18 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 31, 2007 at 12:33 pm
Ah! What a money-making attraction THAT would be!
“Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Step right up! On display-NOT for the faint of heart! Under one tent! BOTH the most inept president AND the most dishonest, corrupt and depraved president. YES! Ladies and Gentlemen! It’s the CCC Show!!!!!”
(Not to be confused with the 3C Highway, Route 3, which runs between Cleveland and Cincinnati through Columbus).
19 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 31, 2007 at 2:19 pm
I see the Logan Act still has no relevance to the Democrat party. I guess that’s why they are swearing on the ISG report as if it were Holy Writ.
Just thinking the name “Pelosi” makes me want to spit. Pt00ey…..
20 Maggie // Mar 31, 2007 at 2:45 pm
To expand on the previous thread…….Can you imagine Slick Willy sitting in on cabinet meetings?(perhaps in his tiara)
21 Fred Sinclair // Mar 31, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Bear in mind ex-president Jimmy Carter’s survivalist skills. After all, it’s on record that he actually survived an attack from a rabbit while in a canoe. Beat the savage beast away with his canoe paddle!
Now that’s a presidential skill that’s not to be taken lightly. Makes one wonder where his Secret Service guards were. Now Clinton would probably have to sic one of his girlfriends on the rabbit. Since attack rabbits aren’t all that common and with the hostages being held by Iran, could the attack rabbit have been trained by the Iranians?
Whew, what a role model Jimmy was, to have thwarted n Iranian conspiracy!
Heirborn Ranger
22 da Bunny // Mar 31, 2007 at 4:14 pm
Very clever, Scott! Bullseye!
23 GnuCarSmell // Mar 31, 2007 at 6:36 pm
Hillary pioneered another (unreported) motivational tool that really got Bubba’s chain cranked. For each million dollars Bill raises, Hillary awards him a Bimbo Voucherâ„¢. Each voucher entitles Bill to a month of what “is’ is with the bimbo of his choice.
When Hillary was asked how well the voucher system was working, she said only “I have created a monster.”
24 Rock Slatestone // Mar 31, 2007 at 7:12 pm
May God Bless Mrs Clinton with a free ticket out of politics. And a happy life there after. Maybe a nice job at Burger King would do.
25 camojack // Mar 31, 2007 at 7:24 pm
Pink Cadillac as euphemism…yes or no?
26 Darthmeister // Mar 31, 2007 at 8:09 pm
Hmmmm, another DemDonk ponzi scheme, eh? What else is new?
Travolta: Global warming solution in ‘other planets and dome cities’…
Hey John, your role in Battlefield Earth is over, dude. It was just a movie. If you quit being a hypocrite and get rid of four of those five jet planes you own you might have something to say to the rest of us peons. In hindsight apparently it was step up for you playing Vinnie Barbarino!
27 mindknumbed kid // Mar 31, 2007 at 8:17 pm
If Mrs. Bill Clinton got a job at Burger King the customers had better watch out for flying salt and pepper shakers, etc.
28 gafisher // Mar 31, 2007 at 9:27 pm
JL3 Re #11 “Hurry! Hurry! Step inside! See the worst president that ever served!â€
I’m sorry, Jameson, but I find that statement quite offensive and not at all funny.
Please reserve the word served for those who’ve actually done so.
29 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 31, 2007 at 9:30 pm
I hear ya……
30 gafisher // Mar 31, 2007 at 9:53 pm
Here, by the way, is how an honorable man deals with his opponents.
31 Darthmeister // Apr 1, 2007 at 8:18 am
ABC’s silent expert on the firing of U.S. Attorney. George Snuffleofguss ought to know, HE HELPED GREASE THE WAY for 93 U.S. Attorney’s to be canned with no comment from the media … alright there was 20 seconds of comment by NBC back in 1993.
It’s a pity, because Mr. Stephanopoulos might be able to help viewers understand why the firing of eight U.S. attorneys in the Bush administration has been by far the biggest television-news story lately, and yet when dozens of federal prosecutors were fired during the Clinton administration, it was barely noticed by network newscasts. According to the Tyndall Report, which tracks this sort of thing, during the week of March 12-16, the three network evening newscasts spent a total of 45 minutes on the prosecutors story, with the war in Iraq placing second at 16 minutes. “World News with Charles Gibson” logged 13 of those 45 minutes on the prosecutors.
By contrast, in 1993, Attorney General Janet Reno’s wholesale firing of U.S. attorneys appointed by George H.W. Bush was a non-story on the ABC evening news-literally a non-story, according to records kept by the Vanderbilt University Television News Archive, as in zero coverage. CBS also skipped it; NBC gave it 20 seconds.
And the media isn’t liberal? Read the whole thing. What an indictment against the liberal media establishment and Georgie boy.
32 antodav // Apr 2, 2007 at 1:08 pm
The thought of Bill Clinton in a rhinestone tiara will keep me amused for quite some time. Thanks, Scott. I needed that.
By the way, it probably wouldn’t be the first time. LOL.
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