(2007-03-22) — Just a day after Oscar-winning filmmaker Al Gore took Capitol Hill by storm with testimony at two Congressional hearings, Democrats announced they would reach across the aisle to Republican global-warming skeptics to take immediate action to save the planet.
Under the terms of a bipartisan measure to be introduced next week, Congress would create a new 30,000-person Department of Climate Control headed by a cabinet-level Secretary of Geothermal Management.
“Honest people can disagree on the issue of what causes global warming or whether it’s even a problem,” said one unnamed Democrat Senator, “The important thing is that we appear to do something about it, and the thing Congress does best is levy taxes and create new government jobs.”
In a concession to Republicans, some of whom believe higher temperatures could be caused by the sun, Democrats have agreed to fund the new department by taxing the sun on a sliding scale — $10 billion for each tenth of a degree rise or decline in the global average temperature.
Of course, since there are no known taxpayers on the sun, American citizens would pick up the tab for the new tax.
Progressive Republican leaders said they would support the measure, and White House sources said President George Bush will likely sign it, on the condition that the bill be called “The Patriotic Global War on Climate Change Act of 2007″ and that the new department be under the umbrella of Homeland Security.
Congressional leaders said they’ll release the full text of the measure at a “fun, bipartisan, picnic-themed news conference” on the National Mall next week, featuring grilled hotdogs and beverages made from a popular brand of flavored drink mix.
“We’ll read the bill out loud,” said the Democrat Senator, “then we’ll all drink the Kool-Aid.”
15 responses so far ↓
1 Scott Ott // Mar 22, 2007 at 5:03 am
Gore Visit Inspires Bipartisan Global Warming Bill…
by Scott Ott(2007-03-22) — Just a day after Oscar-winning filmmaker Al Gore took Capitol Hill by storm with testimony at two Congressional hearings, Democrats announced they would reach across the aisle to Republican global-warming skeptics to take…..
2 onlineanalyst // Mar 22, 2007 at 5:33 am
No fair! The Dems already have a head start on the Kool-Aidâ„¢!
Already there are glitches in the “plan” since the Avoirdupois Police (the AP)will be patrolling the area for excessive comsumption of fats. CAIR is sending representatives to assure that the hot dogs are renamed since such comestibles have an offensive name of an equally offensive animal and are likely to be filled with pork products. Jon Carry promises plenty of ketchup so that the celebratory parties will not miss the sacrifice of meatless buns.
Will Gaia be appeased by this human sacrifice? Only the Flim-Flam man, algore, knows. He, however, will be busy as a barker (oops!) selling his carbon-offset indulgences through his convenient opportunistically formed company.
Three cheers for the senator from Oklahoma, who sees that the “climatologist” Big Al has no clothes.
3 camojack // Mar 22, 2007 at 5:42 am
Consession, consensus…confusing.
4 camojack // Mar 22, 2007 at 5:43 am
See? It even made me spell “concession” wrong!!!
5 camojack // Mar 22, 2007 at 5:45 am
And speaking of consensus, about 500 years ago, the consensus was that the Earth was flat and that the Sun revolved around it…
6 random // Mar 22, 2007 at 5:57 am
I have a Masters Degree in geoscience and I taught Meteorology at
7 random // Mar 22, 2007 at 5:59 am
…. Global warming is a reality, with tons of impirical science to back it. Aside from a cataclismic event climate changes do not happen overnight or in a decade to two, they happen gradually. Past temperature fluctuation gotten from geological records and tree rings have occurred over the course of 100 to 150 yrs., but the point is that if you have a temperature change of only 2 degrees in as short a time as a decade and that change holds, a cycle is started whereby now you have the water temp affected and if water temp is affected now you have winds and wind speeds and strength of storms affected. And it goes on That means that if you have a change in one thing it affects a cycle changes. Recent satellite images show that the ice sheets covering land masses such as Iceland and Antartica or melting away starting another cycle of changes which I will not bore you with right now. President Bush refused to sign the Kyoto accord b/c he claims it would be bad for business. That is a crock….the US is a world leader in innovation, we have the funds and the brains to succeed in developing alternative energy sources, which would create new jobs and put money into pockets other than the oil companies and big energy corporations. If you own stock in an oil co or energy provider then I guess you would want things to stay status quo, very bad for the planet though. We should be leading the way not making lame excuses for the continuation of the pollution of this planet. I believe in Gaia, that is the theory that treats planet Earth as a living entity that responds just as the human body were to respond by breaking down if it were poisoned. Right now Earth is responding. via more frequent and intensified storms, and the loss of habitat for animals such as the Polar Bears, and coral reefs. We will see what is next. Maybe our next President will sign the Kyoto Accord.
8 Basil's Blog » Blog Archive » Blogrolling 2007-03-22 // Mar 22, 2007 at 6:16 am
[...] ScrappleFace looks at Gore's appearance on the Hill. [...]
9 onlineanalyst // Mar 22, 2007 at 6:36 am
Sorry, random. You are fact-challenged and behind in the information curve.
The temperature change is less than you claim. There is disagreement in the scientific community, especially from those members who have credentials in climatology, whether climate changes are anthropogenic. While the coastal areas of Antarctica are shearing off ice mass, the the continent itself is amassing more ice.
Shall I go on?
Sunspot activity and radiation have the most empirically verifiable impact on our planet, as well as on the others in our sun-centered universe. In fact, we are to go into a period of decline of this solar activitiy in the not-too-far future, much as we did in the late 70’s, when the climate alarmists were worrying about an imminent ice-age. Will Al Gore and his minions of lemmings claim credit for this shift with their carbon-credits shell game?
Buy a clue. Read what dissenting credible and credentialed climatologists have to say about global warming. Believe me, they are not in the pay of the energy industry, and they have been silenced too long by the alarmists who will bring poverty and disease to much of the planet with their unintended consequences.
Someone needs to light up an incandescent bulb over your head.
10 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 22, 2007 at 6:57 am
RE: #7~~
random~~
Spell-check is your friend.
Grammar-check is your friend.
Also: Prove that President Bush refused to sign the Kyoto Protocol.
Trust me, you can’t. You know why? It never happened.
11 camojack // Mar 22, 2007 at 7:02 am
Someone needs to light up an incandescent bulb over your head.
Comment by onlineanalyst — March 22, 2007 @ 6:36 am
No, no, no! An LED bulb would use way less electricity. Anyway, a supposed college professor who cannot even spell empirical or cataclysmic? Credibility=0
Check out real scientists discussing “Global Warming”:
The Great Global Warming Swindle
12 mig // Mar 22, 2007 at 12:51 pm
Polar Bears are going to turn brown…
13 Fritz J. // Mar 22, 2007 at 1:46 pm
People like random have trouble getting their beliefs across because they refuse to use any facts. But then perhaps he knows something I don’t, and can show me where the laws of the United States were changed to where the president is the one who ratifies treaties such as Kyoto. Or perhaps his mysterious time machine has gone back and magically erased the Byrd-Hagel resolution known as Sen. Res. 98 and voted on July 25, 1997 which was approximately three and a half years before the evil Bush/Hitler took office. Since I find it unlikely he can do so, I will continue to pity him. His lack of objectivity and ability to use facts will insure that people continue to disbelieve him. To be so mentally challenged must make life very difficult.
14 Fred Sinclair // Mar 22, 2007 at 3:56 pm
#13-Fritz J. - When dealing with people like random (if you really must) always bear in mind that liberals (I started to write “suffer from…” but realize that most don’t suffer at all.) are not totally responsible. They have a genetic aberration which blocks that portion of the brain reserved for thinking.
We conservatives take it as a matter of course when we think. A liberal is incapable of rational thought. To suggest to a liberal that he stop and think is to throw a new and unfamiliar block in his path . Never having done any thinking, the concept is a puzzlement to him. So don’t be too critical of random - he’s probably doing the very best he can with what he has.
Like the brain of a parrot, he’s mainly restricted to repeating the words and phrases his masters have programmed him to repeat i.e. “Bush lied/people died” or “Bush/Hitler, Bush/Hitler, Bush/Hitler” - see what I mean?
Then there are those with only marginal genetic defects. They can think a little bit. Enough to know that if they can control the parrots, they can live in luxury. So they train the parrots, organize rallys to support their agenda. Such as “Anti-war rallys” “Pro Homosexusl rallys” (even providing slogans for their signs)
No random is just another parrot and should be given the same level of credence.
Heirborn Ranger
15 random // Mar 23, 2007 at 5:40 am
I looked at the clip. Of course we are not in total control but human input (pollution) makes a big difference specially when it has been accumulating and becomes excessive as it is now.
Gaia will do what it needs to do to try to restore balance which will probably mean climate havoc. We are not on the absolute brink of disaster at this time..the idea is to start changing our ways before we get to that point, which by the way be as soon as ten years from now if we stay on the current course.
Europe recognizes that changes have to be made. I did not see Inconvenient Truth…global warming is common knowledge within the scientific community, as I said I taught Geoscience for 4 yrs and I remember going to a few conventions and seminars, all the speakers and presenters even then were of the same mind, that this is a reality, and that was several yrs ago (b/c I am not teaching any more, I will rent the movie just to see if Gore is saying/ has further proof of anything new)
It seems that the only ones who do not want to admit the reality is big business and the politicians ….if is a shame that most people don’t believe it and I pray that things will be done / precautions /laws changes put into place before to much damage is done to our beautiful planet. …
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