(2007-03-21) — Oscar-winning filmmaker Al Gore, testifying Wednesday before a Congressional panel on global warming, revealed a little-known technique he has used for years to reduce his personal greenhouse gas emissions.
“I don’t exhale, and I haven’t since about 1991,” said the full-figured Mr. Gore. “Science shows there’s nothing wrong with humans breathing per se, it’s just the exhaling of carbon dioxide that threatens to bring our world to a premature, fiery, water-drenched apocalyptic end.”
Mr. Gore, still a Democrat party favorite to win the White House in the year 2000, said he also reduces his so-called “carbon footprint” by giving speeches and making movies to convince other people to cut their greenhouse gas production, thereby offsetting the emissions generated by his own global travel in private jets as well as SUVs and limousines.
“Leveraging the small efforts of millions of ordinary people is a very democratic way of achieving carbon-neutrality,” Mr. Gore said.
“It’s a team effort,” he added, while displaying a Powerpoint slide of the acronym: TEAM = Together Everyone Atones for Me.
36 responses so far ↓
1 Darthmeister // Mar 21, 2007 at 1:08 pm
“I don’t exhale”?
Is that why Goracle looks a hundred pounds overweight? Goracle IS a carbon footprint.
2 Darthmeister // Mar 21, 2007 at 1:13 pm
Where is Goracle getting his “carbon offsets”? From some aboriginal tribesman in the Congo living in a mud hut? Now the Breck Girl is making the same excuse. What utter hypocrites. I guess “adultery offsets” are next. Global Warmism has clearly become a secular progressive religion.
Together Everyone Atones for Me is so typical of liberal ideological hypocrisy. Good one, Scott.
3 Scott Ott // Mar 21, 2007 at 1:16 pm
Gore Tells Congressional Panel: I Don’t Exhale…
by Scott Ott(2007-03-21) — Oscar-winning filmmaker Al Gore, testifying Wednesday before a Congressional panel on global warming, revealed a little-known technique he has used for years to reduce his personal greenhouse gas emissions.“I don’t exha…
4 flacracker // Mar 21, 2007 at 1:23 pm
Oh MY God.. if its PGG (Personal Greenhouse Gases) that’s causing problems
WE”RE DOOMED -as the democRATic national convention is COMING SOON
5 CalGirl // Mar 21, 2007 at 1:30 pm
TEAM. I like it. Hehehee.
6 Fred Sinclair // Mar 21, 2007 at 1:36 pm
I have finally resolved the matter of Global Warming to my satisfaction. I found a grain of sand and looking at it, I realized that it bore the same relationship to the Rocky Mountains that Man bears to Global Warming. i.e. - Not very much. While the sun’s relationship to Global Warming is identical to God’s. i.e. - Total
Heirborn Ranger
7 Shelly // Mar 21, 2007 at 1:51 pm
The next time libs react like little girls to something Ann Coulter says, I hope she tells them she buys insult offsets. In Gore’s case I guess he won’t look like a little girl.
8 ACHefty // Mar 21, 2007 at 1:53 pm
Let’s see if we have this straight….his former boss didn’t inhale, and he doesn’t exhale. No wonder Bill did the talking and Al was simply full of hot air.
9 diamond jim // Mar 21, 2007 at 2:01 pm
If only this were true! In a few minutes Algore would reduce the global temp by going from 98.6 to room temp.
10 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 21, 2007 at 2:07 pm
God Bless America
11 antodav // Mar 21, 2007 at 2:22 pm
“Mr. Gore, still a Democrat party favorite to win the White House in the year 2000….”
LOL, I almost didn’t catch that. Nice one.
12 Rogue100 // Mar 21, 2007 at 2:46 pm
The only kind of DumbasCrap hypocrites I like are the ones that no longer have need of exhaling or inhaling.
13 tomg // Mar 21, 2007 at 3:14 pm
Maybe Bigfoot should keep his CO2 in a lockbox.
If he’d exhale, he wouldn’t sound so weird talking.
14 Fred Sinclair // Mar 21, 2007 at 3:15 pm
antodav - Thanks, I can’t believe I read it twice and didn’t get it until I read your comment, shame on me & my bad.
Heirborn Ranger
15 Just Ranting // Mar 21, 2007 at 3:42 pm
“I invented being full of hot air.” - Al Goremeisterbloviator
16 da Bunny // Mar 21, 2007 at 3:42 pm
How many calorie offsets will algore have to purchase to atone for his substantial BMI? Perhaps, because he is the techno-wonder who invented the internet, e-gore is confusing bytes with bites, and that’s the reason for his “full figure.” The more “bites,” the better, eh?
17 Just Ranting // Mar 21, 2007 at 3:48 pm
Let’s see…Clinton didn’t inhale, Gore doesn’t exhale. If you could just get both of them to stop inhaling and exhaling you might just have something there.
18 dmiller372 // Mar 21, 2007 at 4:00 pm
I almost forgot about Big Al’s lockbox. Thanks for bringing that up tomg. Nothing like a red faced bloated liberal to get me going. Al’s biggest problem is he cannot communicate in language any more complicated than a 4 year old would dispense. I think he should be thrown into his lockbox for eternity. Or at least until he is no longer the favorite to win the 2000 Presidential election. He is the ultimate Manchurian Candidate. HE PREYS ON OUR FEARS!!! YEA AHHH!!!!
19 nylecoj // Mar 21, 2007 at 4:08 pm
So if we become water drenched enough do you think it will put out the fires?
20 RedPepper // Mar 21, 2007 at 4:23 pm
Just Ranting #15: At this rate, I fully expect to see alGore in the Macy’s Thanksgivings Day Parade! Much like the Sta-Puft™ Marshmallow Man in Ghostbusters!
♫ Well, there’s something strange / In the neighborhood … ♫
21 mig // Mar 21, 2007 at 6:10 pm
Breath-Al lies-er: The lung print. Everyone has one.
Cash for freedom. You pay, your planet print will go away. Gore-indulgences for sale.
22 GnuCarSmell // Mar 21, 2007 at 7:20 pm
Al will make an outstanding flotation device when sea levels rise.
23 camojack // Mar 21, 2007 at 7:39 pm
Nice symmetry with the Clinton/Gore inhale/exhale thing.
From my observations, I’d say Al Gore (inventor of the algorithm, et al) doesn’t defecate, either…
24 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 21, 2007 at 8:34 pm
Ah-ha-ha-ha!!!!!
25 conserve-a-tips // Mar 21, 2007 at 8:47 pm
Where, oh where, is Martin Luther when you need him?
From the 95 Theses:
21. Thus those indulgence preachers are in error who say that a man is absolved from every penalty and saved by papal indulgences.
32. Those who believe that they can be certain of their salvation because they have indulgence letters will be eternally damned, together with their teachers.
40. A Christian who is truly contrite seeks and loves to pay penalties for his sins; the bounty of indulgences, however, relaxes penalties and causes men to hate them — at least it furnishes occasion for hating them.
52. It is vain to trust in salvation by indulgence letters, even though the indulgence commissary, or even the pope, were to offer his soul as security.
53. They are the enemies of Christ and the pope who forbid altogether the preaching of the Word of God in some churches in order that indulgences may be preached in others.
71. Let him who speaks against the truth concerning papal indulgences be anathema and accursed.
72. But let him who guards against the lust and license of the indulgence preachers be blessed.
26 Darthmeister // Mar 21, 2007 at 9:14 pm
Yeah, camo, after his performance before the Senate today and not answering questions being put to him by critics, it does look like he’s full of something. His smirky obfuscations made him look like the veritable Music Man when telling his very convenient lies. Yet one brain-dead Dim called him a prophet! Yeah, a false prophet.
Even some socialists think Goracle is some kind of self-aggrandizing vaudeville act even though environmentalism and Global Warmism have become the new playground of former commies, socialists and global collectivists.
The following analysis assumes Global Warming is man-made and there is actually something we can do about it:
If Al Gore has his way, we could end up choosing a future, based on dubious claims, that according to U.N. estimates could cost our generation and our children’s children somewhere around $553 trillion this century. Getting answers to hard questions that Al Gore and others like him often duck is not an unreasonable expectation before we take his anti-warming prescriptions seriously.
If we are to follow Mr. Gore’s suggestions of radically changing our way of life, the costs are not trivial and are in fact immeasurable if it turns out that Global Warming ideology is little more than a Quixotic quest which doesn’t affect the natural rhythms of Nature. Bit if through immense financial sacrifice we can change our greenhouse gas emissions over the coming century and in turn substantially reduce Global Warming (a very big “if”), the U.N. also estimates that we will live in a warmer but immensely richer world. However, the U.N. Climate Panel concludes if we follow Al Gore’s path down toward an environmentally obsessed society, it will have a very big impact on the world of humans, particularly poorer societies.
In the year 2100, Mr. Gore’s environmentally draconian measures may leave the average person 30% poorer, and thus less able to handle many of the problems we will face, climate change or no climate change. Therein lies the unspoken and inconvient truth that glib false prophets like Al Gore seem willing to ignore, their policies will harm mankind in a far more serious way than the banning of DDT and the rise of malaria world-wide that has led to tens of millions of inconvenient deaths. Death by environmentalism is a very real problem and it appears many ill-informed lemmings are are jumping on the Global Warmism bandwagon to drink that over-hyped kool-aid, too. Not me, but then what recourse do I have when some future PC government might be taking a bigger chunk of my paycheck to assuage the collective guilt of modern pariahs?
27 Darthmeister // Mar 21, 2007 at 9:15 pm
… push!
28 da Bunny // Mar 21, 2007 at 9:47 pm
Darthmeister re: #26
No, algore is not a “prophet.” He’s a “profit.” And, gullible losers are bending over backwards to make sure he “profits.”
29 Fred Sinclair // Mar 21, 2007 at 10:16 pm
I am impresed by the thouht involved.
I wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell Phones?
What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
What if we flipped through it several times a day?
What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
What if we treated it like we couldn’t live without it
What if we gave it to kids as gifts?
What if we used it as we traveled?
What if we used it in case of an emergency?
What if we upgraded it to get the latest version?
This is something to make you go…hmmm…where is my Bible?
Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone, we don’t ever have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus has already paid the bill!
(author unknown)
Heirborn Ranger
30 Fred Sinclair // Mar 21, 2007 at 10:20 pm
Oops - thought (typo) not thouht
Heirborn Ranger
31 Ms RightWing, Ink // Mar 21, 2007 at 10:25 pm
If he didn’t exhale from the lungs then I know why we have global warming. Gory methane, icky ish
32 conserve-a-tips // Mar 21, 2007 at 10:59 pm
Darthmeister and Da Bunny, since we all agree that he ain’t no prophet would you agree that he is running a NonProphet organization????
33 conserve-a-tips // Mar 21, 2007 at 11:02 pm
I just realized something - speaking of disaster movies - anybody remember Soylent Green?? Soylent Greeeennnn is Peeeeple.
Well it was made in 1973 and is supposed to take place in 15 years. Maybe Al Gore is like the Dimmos accused Reagan of doing - he is mixing reality with a movie.
34 conserve-a-tips // Mar 21, 2007 at 11:12 pm
Heh, did you hear about what my wonderful Senator did today in the hearings? You can read about it here but the short of it is that Senator Inhofe asked Gore to sign an Energy Ethics Pledge written in Gore’s Global Warming Language and the carbon fatso wouldn’t do it!
35 Harry Daschle // Mar 22, 2007 at 12:15 am
Al Gore buying “carbon offsets”, is like Michael Moore or Rosie O’Donnell paying people to go on a diet for them!
I kind of borrowed that, but it is true!
Al has the same personality as a zombie.
BTW, didn’t Bugs Bunny also win an oscar back in the 60’s? He must be spinning in his—-pet cemetary.
Once again, the big media proves their left wing bias. Notice how you didn’t see Gore being grilled by Republicans? Whenever a Republican is questioned, all you see is them being grilled.
36 Harry Daschle // Mar 22, 2007 at 12:19 am
CAT: I saw Sen. Inhofe, but I bet few others did, or heard that he challenged Gore to take the pledge.
I saw it on Fox but it was not reported on any other network that I saw.
You must log in to post a comment.