(2007-03-16) — Valerie Plame, whose CIA career ended when columnist Robert Novak blew her cover in July 2003, today testifies before the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee whose members will receive a special secret decoder ring so they can understand her without revealing sensitive intel in a public forum.
Ms. Plame (aka Valerie Wilson) lived such a secret life that when she and her husband, former ambassador Joe Wilson, appeared in a photo spread in Vanity Fair magazine, she was compelled by CIA covert spy protocol to wear dark sunglasses.
The former agent will speak in a top-secret cipher language. Committee members will break the encryption as she speaks using the secret decoder device.
“America’s security is my life’s passion,” said Ms. Plame, “Although I’ve been away from the Agency for several years, there may be still people in Europe who think I’m a simple business woman, and don’t realize that my glamorous, willowy, blond movie-star good looks disguised a master spy.”
Ms. Plame denied allegations that she’s testifying at the House hearing simply to provide footage for a future Super Bowl TV ad for the internet hosting company GoDaddy.com.
Meanwhile, former vice presidential aide I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby awaits sentencing on four counts of lying to investigators and obstructing a federal probe which found that no crime had been committed in the alleged outing of Ms. Plame.
Robert Novak remains at large.
74 responses so far ↓
1 Scott Ott // Mar 16, 2007 at 6:19 am
Valerie Plame Gives Committee Secret Decoder Ring…
by Scott Ott(2007-03-16) — Valerie Plame, whose CIA career ended when columnist Robert Novak blew her cover in July 2003, today testifies before the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee whose members will receive a special secret decoder…..
2 conserve-a-tips // Mar 16, 2007 at 6:45 am
Oh my word. Twice in one week:
God Bless America!!
3 conserve-a-tips // Mar 16, 2007 at 6:53 am
Actually, I had to get up early this morning and I was sitting at my computer, munching on a 9-grain bagel slathered with homemade cream cheese, washing it down with a steaming cup of Rooibos/Mango tea, laced with Stevia and vanilla creme, and nearly spewed my breakfast at the monitor when I read Scott’s piece. If it weren’t for the antics of Washington, Scott would be hardpressed for stories.
4 conserve-a-tips // Mar 16, 2007 at 6:58 am
BTW, one last thing…Big Brother has been introduced again by Henry Waxman and it would behoove us all to contact our CongressCritters. You can read the text of H.R.984 and determine for yourself who defines what “significant” is. Gonna voice your concern about immigration? That’s significant boys! Write ‘er down.
5 Rock Slatestone // Mar 16, 2007 at 7:05 am
You can hardly see Ms Plame’s utility belt that she keeps hidden around her waist. I wonder if she has a she that she uses as a telephone?
6 MargeinMI // Mar 16, 2007 at 7:06 am
Cover yer keyboards people! And “Be Sure to Drink Your Ovaltine!” Arrrrgggghhhh!
7 Rock Slatestone // Mar 16, 2007 at 7:07 am
hahaha, i messed up my own joke. Ms Plame didn’t have a phone in her she she might of had a phone in her shoe though.
All this technology and I still need to learn to proof read. argh
8 gafisher // Mar 16, 2007 at 7:10 am
Shhhhh! Plame’s maid is in federal custody for revealing that Miz Wilzon left a ring … in the bathtub.
9 gafisher // Mar 16, 2007 at 7:12 am
” … she has a she that she uses as a telephone?”
The old telephone-telegraph-tell a woman ploy, eh Chief?
10 Just Ranting // Mar 16, 2007 at 7:24 am
B2 - C16 - R5 - T12 …
“Be sure to buy my upcoming book. It has recipes for yellow cake with strawberry frosting. Vote for Democrats.”
Son-of-a … a stupid commercial!
11 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 16, 2007 at 7:26 am
Reading the WaPo article, one has to wonder who actually called this “hearing” and why.
12 conserve-a-tips // Mar 16, 2007 at 7:37 am
James, do you really have to wonder that???!!! I’ll give you three guesses and they all begin with “Because we want to skewer Bush…..”
13 mig // Mar 16, 2007 at 8:03 am
Okay tell me AGAIN who is Valerie Plame and why is she so important?
14 Fred Sinclair // Mar 16, 2007 at 8:07 am
Re: #3 conserv-a-tips - I can relate, sitting here musing at the keyboard.
Memories - sitting here with cigarettes and coffee for an hour - trying to recall how 50 (fifty) years could have have disappeared so very quickly.I found a pic of my 1957 Chevy on internet and am amazed - same model, same colors, same showroom (not really) at the time I think it was 23 hundred “Out the Door!” in Spokane Washington (I was stationed at nearby Fairchild Air Force Base) Seemed like a fortune at the time! To top it all off - I’m sitting here watching “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” with Audrey Hepburn, one of my favorite actresses of all time.
Then here comes Scott Ott with this masterpiece. One thing I love about Ms. Plame (aka Valerie Wilson) is that for the rest of her life, or at least the next thirty years or so, she will be forever known as “The Joke”.
As in”Oh so-and-so? well you know he got Valerie Plamed.” Mr. Doyle could have written a good mystery if he were still around. “The Crime That Wasn’t” might be a good working title.
I haven’t had a good decoder ring since the one I got by sending in a Kellog’s Corn Flakes boxtop and twenty five cents to Battle Creek, Michigan in 1946. It was really pretty good, considering that twenty five cents back then was a whole lot of money, a week’s allowance, in fact.
Heirborn Ranger
15 RedPepper // Mar 16, 2007 at 8:43 am
Not to stray off-topic or anything, but …
… in honor of the latest major snowstorm bearing down on upstate NY, I thought I would post this blast from the past :
16 RedPepper // Mar 16, 2007 at 8:47 am
Winter Blunderland !
We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog-thread ; apologies for spreading over two comments.
17 camojack // Mar 16, 2007 at 8:57 am
More “double talk”, eh?
18 conserve-a-tips // Mar 16, 2007 at 9:15 am
Redpepper: Not to reply off-topic to your off-topic link, but I got a good chuckle from that. Thousands protesting against Global Warming??? That’s like saying, “Thousands protesting against Volcanic Eruptions.” Who do they think they are anyway?????
I wonder if it ever occured to them that if we are already on the path to destruction, they might as well baton down the hatches and prepare for the worst because according to Gore and his kind, it’s too late!!!!! Skulls full of mush.
Valerie Plame, Global Warming, lawyers fired (that’s bad?), Libby lying - is anybody else out there searching the horizon for SuperMan? Where are you, oh red-caped one?
19 Ms RightWing, Ink // Mar 16, 2007 at 9:19 am
Little Orphan Annie would be pleased. But, dump the Ovaltine-it is laced with the CIA’s LSD. Instead drink Bosco, it is good, pure and is endorsed by the Boy Scouts of America, likewise by moms all across the fruited plains
20 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 16, 2007 at 9:48 am
N-E-S-T-L-E-S…..
Nestle’s makes the ver-ry best…..
Cho-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oc-let…..
(SNAP)*
*(hand-puppet’s mouth closing)
21 Ms RightWing, Ink // Mar 16, 2007 at 9:48 am
….Actually, the milk supplement is so passe these days. If one (you and all of humanity) needs to see what only those in the know see, forget Valerie, rather jump in the shower every morning with Dr Bronner’s Magic Soap. With a good scrub down using the peppermint soap, all things current and former will come to light.
If you are not so daring to revive your senses, read the bottle and when you come to understand the old man’s ranting, then you to can out government officials, just like Orphie did!
Before me sits an unused bar of Dr Bronner’s All-in-One Hemp Peppermint Pure Castile soap that even I, the bravest amongst us, am truly leary of opening.
Remember-cleanliness is next to Godliness.
22 Sister Toldjah // Mar 16, 2007 at 10:19 am
A sign of things to come in the Plame hearing…
Today’s the day that Valerie Plame is testifying before a House committee on her ‘outing’. John Podhoretz is watching the hearing and noted this:
Henry Waxman, who is chairing the hearing into the revelation of Valerie Plame Wilson&#…
23 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 16, 2007 at 11:28 am
Rats!
I missed the Plame “grilling”. I was out of duct tape and had to go to Home Depot before I went into convulsions.
I hear it was quite the spectacle.
24 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 16, 2007 at 11:30 am
Fred Thompson on Ghandi.
25 Shelly // Mar 16, 2007 at 12:11 pm
You’d think the CIA would have upgraded equipment over the decades. I remember Agent 99 wearing those same sunglassess.
I don’t know about the rest of y’all (I live in the south, we’re required to you use this contraction for a plural “you”), but I’m thinking about inviting myself to conserve-a-tips for breakfast tomorrow. Homemade cream cheese? Yum…
26 Hawkeye // Mar 16, 2007 at 12:12 pm
“Robert Novak remains at large.”
Scott, that line still cracks me up every time I read it.
27 RedPepper // Mar 16, 2007 at 12:28 pm
JL3 #23: I missed the Plame grilling too.
How’d they keep the charcoal lit in this weather, anyway?
28 GnuCarSmell // Mar 16, 2007 at 12:34 pm
Ms. Plame’s book will be a ‘how to’ manual entitled “Self-Outing: The Bimbo Bureaucrat’s Guide To Fame & Fortune.”
29 rightlinx.com » Blog Archive » Laugh Links - With Open Trackbacks! // Mar 16, 2007 at 12:45 pm
[…] Scrappleface reports that Valerie Plame Gives Committee Secret Decoder Ring! […]
30 everthink // Mar 16, 2007 at 12:47 pm
OVERSIGHT
It has been so long, I had almost forgotten what Congress is supposed to do … ain’t it great?
Maybe they can even make up for the six years of three day work weeks by the “Rubber Stamp Republican” controlled congress.
And to think, you all said Democrats were too soft to deal with America’s enemies.
ET
31 conserve-a-tips // Mar 16, 2007 at 2:05 pm
Shelly, “y’all all” would be most welcome to join me for breakfast tomorrow. I’m from the south too, so am required to use the contraction as well.
If y’all would like, I can throw in some orange scones with homemade apple butter and a quiche too.
Actually, I make my own yogurt and then hang it in cheese cloth in the frig until it becomes cream cheese. Very tasty.
32 conserve-a-tips // Mar 16, 2007 at 2:11 pm
ET, what’s going on in Washington right now reminds me of my husband’s ex years ago and how from month to month we wondered what charge was going to be leveled at my husband next.
Here they’d come and back to court we’d go and sit there while all manner of insane attacks were leveled and then the judge would uninterestedly rule that there wasn’t any evidence that he could see and we would move on to the next month and the next charge….that is, until the ex got caught for drugs. Yep, drug addict deluxe with bankruptcy on the horizon and a number of other little gems to keep her busy.
The Democrats can keep hammering away at all of these non-issue issues, but there is gonna come a day when they get caught in their web of deceit and they will be looking around blinking, “Wha’ happen’?”
33 Bill's Bites // Mar 16, 2007 at 2:53 pm
The Plame Game…
Valerie Plame Gives Committee Secret Decoder Ring by Scott Ott (2007-03-16) — Valerie Plame, whose CIA career ended when columnist Robert Novak blew her cover in July 2003, today testifies before the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee wh…
34 Lioni // Mar 16, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Little Orphan Annie would be pleased. But, dump the Ovaltine–it is laced with the CIA’s LSD. Instead drink Bosco, it is good, pure and is endorsed by the Boy Scouts of America, likewise by moms all across the fruited plains
35 everthink // Mar 16, 2007 at 3:27 pm
conserve-a-tips:
“Wha’ happen’?” NOTHING could ever be worse than watching what this administration has done to The United States!
ET
36 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 16, 2007 at 3:29 pm
If what I saw going on in the hour or so of that “hearing” this morning is indicative of what the Democrat party considers “oversight” then I would say that, not only are they soft on the enemies of the United States of America (an undeniable fact), they are soft in the head.
I saw Waxman state more lies as if they were proven facts than I could count, for one thing. Pathetic. And our tax dollars pay for that kind of crap.
Grrrrr…..
37 Ms RightWing, Ink // Mar 16, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Bus tickets in hand and heading towards conserve-a-tips
re:34
where have I read that before?
38 conserve-a-tips // Mar 16, 2007 at 4:50 pm
Oh, MsRightwing, Ink: I would love to have you!
Neverthunk, do you know how tired that sentiment is? Let’s see, when Jackson was in office, he was the worst president in history, and was a country lout to boot, until the next president and the next and so on and so on through Hoover and the deppression, and then Rooselvelt for getting us into the war, and then Truman for dropping the bomb and getting us into S. Korea, and then Eisenhower for getting us into Vietnam, and then Kennedy for keeping us in Vietnam and having affairs with communists and Hollywood stars, and then Johnson for his Great Society that wasn’t so great and then Nixon for his paranoia and then Ford because he couldn’t walk without tripping and then Carter for being a wuss and overseeing stagflation, gas lines and being the precursor to bank disasters, and then Reagan because of Star Wars and Reaganomics and then Bush the First because of the Gulf War and not finishing it or his “no new taxes” lie and then Clinton because he couldn’t keep his pants zipped or his finger off the “raise taxes” button and he lied too, and now Bush. So what else is new with your little whine session? As scripture says, “nothing is new under the sun.”
39 Harry Daschle // Mar 16, 2007 at 5:39 pm
I wasn’t able to post on the last thread. I just wanted to say it sounded a lot like the statement the Libby prosecutor said on a previous thread!
That the Libby prosecution was so easy, a caveman could have prosecuted it!
40 everthink // Mar 16, 2007 at 6:41 pm
“The Preacher” who wrote there is “nothing is new under the sun”, also wrote: “… one man among a thousand have I found; but a woman among all those have I not found.”
ET
41 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 16, 2007 at 6:49 pm
I don’t understand their definition of “covert”. I always thought it meant “undercover”, “disavowed”.
If her desk job at the CIA in Langley to which she drove-in plain sight for all to see-on a daily basis was “covert”, then, doesn’t that mean she is actually someone else?
I’ll agree that her job was “classified”-that’s a no-brainer-I’ll bet the janitor’s security clearance is “classified”, too.
42 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 16, 2007 at 7:28 pm
What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.~~Ecclesiastes 1:9
I don’t think Solomon, king over Israel in Jerusalem and the author of Ecclesiastes, would be considered a “preacher”.
In that particular passage, Ecclesiastes 7:27-29, from which a portion of verse 28 is cited, Solomon is quoting someone he refers to as “Preacher”. The “Preacher” did not write Ecclesiastes.
43 mig // Mar 16, 2007 at 7:41 pm
#21-
Dr. Bronner was a really close friend of my grandmother Louise!
44 mig // Mar 16, 2007 at 7:44 pm
I thought charcoal was banned because it was bad for the ozone or something. Does anyone ever talk about the ozone and the blind sheep in Chile?
45 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 16, 2007 at 7:45 pm
RE: #44~~
mig~~
Uh, not until now…..
46 conserve-a-tips // Mar 16, 2007 at 8:20 pm
ET,
Solomon was depressed and cynical - rather like you. He had a large harem and many of the women were faithless. If you will notice the scriptures prior to your quote, he is talking about the harlot and her snares. Of course, being the great liberal that you are, you would be very tolerant of the harlot’s lifestyle, but for Solomon - not so much.
In this part of his whining, Solomon admits that he is looking at mankind (and womankind) through his eyes and not through eyes guided by the Wisdom of God. He wants to, but he says that it is hard to do. In his cynicism, he realizes that man has done the same foolish, vain and self-centered things over and over and over. and so he gets even more cynical.
And how does that apply to your silly statement about the president? In statistics, I learned that whenever someone uses the terms ‘all’, ‘always’, ‘none’,'worst’, ‘best’, ‘never’, ‘can’t', etc., the statement is usually false. When you add the fact that someone in every generation has made your statement about whoever was president at the time, it just makes your observation old news and - shall we say - rubbish.
47 conserve-a-tips // Mar 16, 2007 at 8:28 pm
And oh yes, I forgot, you will notice in this same scripture, Solomon is quoting “the teacher” which translated in the Greek means: “collector (of sentences), preacher, public speaker, speaker in an assembly, Qoheleth”.
A notation on that particular verse states: “This inductive method can never be complete, nor can we reliably interpret all that we manage to observe. Human wisdom and understanding must always yield to revealed truth.”
Amen.
48 Ms RightWing, Ink // Mar 16, 2007 at 8:50 pm
re:43
Mig, you must tell us about the man of mystery. I love the liquid peppermint soap and have used it for 35 years off and on. Wakes you up like nothing else in the morning, but…all the ranting on the bottle, well, it leaves me rather confused about just what he believed.
Makes for good reading though. Guess his soap is about the last vestige ( vestigium )of earth mother left in me.
49 Ms RightWing, Ink // Mar 16, 2007 at 8:50 pm
Oh no, I am lost
50 Ms RightWing, Ink // Mar 16, 2007 at 8:54 pm
conserve-a-tips
Next time one of these protest buses comes my way, such as anti-war, cigarettes, global freezing or what have you, I shall ask if they would be so polite as to take me and my chair to your place. If they are as compassionate as they put on to be , they should be more than happy to drive me south.
51 Ms RightWing, Ink // Mar 16, 2007 at 8:54 pm
zoink
52 conserve-a-tips // Mar 16, 2007 at 9:08 pm
MsRighwing,Ink: If that is how you are going to get here, I don’t think I’ll be polishing the silver anytime soon.
53 upnorthlurkin // Mar 16, 2007 at 9:24 pm
I just have to see if :-” works here…..how about :-@ this one?!
54 upnorthlurkin // Mar 16, 2007 at 9:25 pm
Nope, sorry! Ms. Rightwing, I haven’t made it to the post office yet….sorry for the delay but I had a couple of fires I had to put out! Soon tho’!
55 everthink // Mar 16, 2007 at 10:10 pm
conserve-a-tips
Are you certain Solomon the writer of Ecclesiastes? Please, show me your proof.
ET
56 everthink // Mar 16, 2007 at 10:10 pm
^is
57 conserve-a-tips // Mar 16, 2007 at 10:24 pm
According to theologians out there much more learned than I, based on the style and content of passages, the author is most likely Solomon. I ain’t old enough to have been around back then with personal experience and so I have to take these scholars’ word for it.
Actually, though, that is neither here nor there as the scriptures, no matter by whom written, still show your comment to be the trite statement that it was.
58 RedPepper // Mar 16, 2007 at 10:36 pm
c-a-t:
59 RedPepper // Mar 16, 2007 at 10:38 pm
Get out your white suit, your tap shoes and tails
Let’s go backwards when all else fails
And movie stars you thought were long dead
Now are framed beside your bed
Don’t throw the past away
You might need it some rainy day
Dreams can come true again
When ev’ry thing old is new again
60 RedPepper // Mar 16, 2007 at 10:40 pm
My.
I really must do something about this hiccup …
61 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 16, 2007 at 10:43 pm
I was wrong about the identity of the “Preacher”/”Teacher”-that’s what happens when you try to make sense of a portion of a verse out of context. I apologize.
Nevertheless, Solomon clearly identifies himself in the very first verse of the first chapter.
Chuck Smith says:
“Book of Ecclesiastes begins,
The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem (Ecc 1:1).
So that identifies the author as Solomon. The Hebrew word that is translated preacher is a word that can mean one of the assembly or a debater. And it is determined that the translation preacher is not necessarily a good translation of this Hebrew qoheleth, that it might be better translated the debater. “The words of the Debater, the son of David, the king of Jerusalem.” He refers to this, and in Ecclesiastes is the only time this Hebrew word is used, and it is in the feminine form. And it is used seven times here as Solomon is referring to himself. And really a debater or one who is searching, the searcher. The son of David, the king of Jerusalem. And the book of Ecclesiastes is indeed a search.” (Emphasis mine to demonstrate what I meant in my earlier post about what I consider to be an inappropriate description of Solomon as “Preacher” or, even, “Teacher”)
62 conserve-a-tips // Mar 16, 2007 at 10:46 pm
Redpepper - drink water from the opposite side of the glass. If that doesn’t work, I’ll send Neverthink to your front door to scare the bejeebers out of you.
63 conserve-a-tips // Mar 16, 2007 at 10:50 pm
James, Neverthink is just throwing out red herrings to take the focus off of his inane accusation of the president. Regarding his sentiments, in the words of Madonna:
Je suis désolé
Lo siento
Ik ben droevig
Sono spiacente
Perdóname
I’ve heard it all before
I’ve heard it all before
I’ve heard it all before
I’ve heard it all before
(repeat)
64 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 16, 2007 at 10:51 pm
Ray Stedman says:
” The book opens with this introduction:
The words of the Preacher…
I think that it is to Martin Luther that we owe this translation of the Hebrew word, but in context it is not the best choice. The word can mean “preacher,” but I think it is much better translated as “debater” or “arguer,” and as you read this book you will see that it is a series of arguments set forth as man views the world around him. The debater was none other than Solomon, the son of David, king in Jerusalem. the wisest man who ever lived, according to Biblical record.”
65 everthink // Mar 17, 2007 at 12:05 am
Well!
I certainly was not just throwing out red herrings to take the focus off of my accusation of the inane president.
ET
66 Fred Sinclair // Mar 17, 2007 at 5:53 am
JamesonLewis3rd - “The wisest man who ever lived…” With 300 wives and 700 concubines - That’s a whole lot of Mother in Laws to contend with.
Now if he could average visiting with one wife or concubine each day then he only saw each one only about once every three years. (2.739 years to be more exact), In relation to “The Song of Solomon” - the figures don’t add up very well. The wife in “The Song…” obviously had a different lifestyle in mind. Or perhaps in addition to being the wisest man in history, he was also the most virile man in history?
Dictionary
virile |ˈvirəl| adjective (of a man) having strength, energy, and a strong sex drive. by strength and energy : DERIVATIVES virility |vəˈrilitē| noun ORIGIN late 15th cent.(in the sense [characteristic of a man] ): from French viril or Latin virilis, from vir ‘man.’
Heirborn Ranger
67 MargeinMI // Mar 17, 2007 at 6:28 am
Who’s your daddy?
68 MargeinMI // Mar 17, 2007 at 7:02 am
Shoutin’ out to onlineanalyst! Missing you!
69 JamesonLewis3rd // Mar 17, 2007 at 7:32 am
I find it rather amusing that Plame (if that’s really her name) is whining about this so-called career-ending fiasco.
We should all end our careers so lucratively (i.e., fame (infamy?), lucrative book deals, lucrative movie deals, lucrative lawsuits, lucrative speaking engagements, international renown, opportunities to lie with impunity before Senate hearings for purely political reasons, the fawning adoration of the LLL/MSM, et cetera).
70 R.A.M. // Mar 17, 2007 at 10:42 am
Not so sure Ms. Plame has ended her career yet. If she told any mistruths before the House, shouldn’t she be indicted just as Libby was?
Or will she get the Sandy Berger or Bill and Hill Clinton treatment?
Just asking!
71 Loki, E.NC.Z.B-K // Mar 17, 2007 at 11:02 am
As always, still in favor of my new weapon for the Military, The Plame Thrower .
Unfortunatly, ammunition is rare, but noone will see it coming, you know, because it’s covert and all… ;P
Robert Novak still at large
Excellence in Blogging per usual, Mr. Ott!
72 ALBANYS INSANITY » Blog Archive » Valerie Plame Gives Committee Secret Decoder Ring // Mar 17, 2007 at 7:21 pm
[…] ScrappleFace » Valerie Plame Gives Committee Secret Decoder Ring […]
73 mindknumbed kid // Mar 17, 2007 at 8:36 pm
How do I get on that House Committee ? I’ve always wanted a Secret Decoder Ring !! Some guys have all the luck…
74 mindknumbed kid // Mar 17, 2007 at 8:48 pm
Is it just me or what, I thought we had a special persecuter, a waste of everyone’s time trial, a sham conviction of Scooter, and that was enough. Isn’t there anything worthwhile for our elected officials to do ?
BillyWilly can perjure himself all day long, and BurglarBoy can shove documents down his drawers and it ain’t no big deal.
Can’t we all just get along ?
Future Historians will all be bald after they decipher this period of time cause they’ll all be pulling their hair out!!
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