(2006-12-19) — As President George Bush continued to seek suggestions for how to deal with the situation in Iraq, an unnamed White House official today indicated the president had already made up his mind and would soon have “major announcement.”
Mr. Bush will not increase troop levels, withdrawal troops, talk with Iran and Syria or ask Israel to give Jerusalem to Hamas, the source said, but rather he plans to unveil a top-secret device dubbed “the Way-Forward Machine.”
“We’ve come to a juncture in Iraq’s history,” the official said, “where there are just no good alternatives. The president has said he’s looking for a way forward, and it’s finally here.”
The Way-Forward Machine, developed by defense contractor Peabody-Sherman, will allow Mr. Bush to skip the present, move into the future and then alter the outcome of events, thereby forcing the present to re-align itself with the new future.
“Essentially,” the source said, “this will allow Bush to write his own legacy by simply visiting his presidential library and replacing a few documents.”
While Mr. Bush would not comment directly on the leak about the Way-Forward Machine, he simply said, “I reckon it makes as much sense as any of the recommendations from the Iraq Study Group.”
23 responses so far ↓
1 JamesonLewis3rd // Dec 19, 2006 at 7:45 pm
God Bless America!
Merry Christmas!
2 JamesonLewis3rd // Dec 19, 2006 at 7:46 pm
Mr. Peabody was the greatest genius of all time.
3 Scott Ott // Dec 19, 2006 at 7:47 pm
Bush to Solve Iraq with ‘Way-Forward Machine’…
by Scott Ott(2006-12-19) — As President George Bush continued to seek suggestions for how to deal with the situation in Iraq, an unnamed White House official today indicated the president had already made up his mind and would soon have “major……
4 JamesonLewis3rd // Dec 19, 2006 at 7:54 pm
ScrappleFace got a mention in this post about robots of the future suing for civil rights violations.
5 nylecoj // Dec 19, 2006 at 8:09 pm
I reckon’ indeed!
6 Fred Sinclair // Dec 19, 2006 at 8:17 pm
I’d like to see that future presidential library - I’d especially like to see copies of all of the spending bills that he vetoed. There were very, very few of those bills that could have garnered enough votes to over ride his veto.
As much as I like and admire George W. Bush nobody is perfect, and I find his failure to use the veto over a hundred times is my major complaint to date with his presidency.
If I were him - for the next two years I would veto everything that didn’t have Conservative all over it! If a bill can’t get enough votes to over ride the veto, it’s probably a bad bill.
Heirborn Ranger
7 Rock Slatestone // Dec 19, 2006 at 8:42 pm
It is about time Peabody-Sherman gets the recognition he deserves.
8 kwl // Dec 19, 2006 at 9:30 pm
Sounds like the easy button at Staples to me!!
9 camojack // Dec 19, 2006 at 9:47 pm
One thing’s for sure…they can’t go back and start over.
10 onlineanalyst // Dec 19, 2006 at 9:52 pm
FYI The creator of Sherman and Peabody (and Rocky and Bullwinkle, etc.) died on November 20. I spent many an hour in my youth, watching those programs with delight. The obituary is here.
11 RedPepper // Dec 19, 2006 at 9:59 pm
Iraq is so yesterday … When will we move on to Somalia ? … or maybe Darfur … at least that one would shut the Hollywood crowd up for about six months …
12 Fred Sinclair // Dec 19, 2006 at 10:11 pm
AT CHRISTMAS TIME:
To my Christian friends - Merry Christmas
To my Jewish friends - Happy Chanukah
To my Atheist friends - Good Luck
from: Heirborn Ranger
13 Godfrey // Dec 19, 2006 at 10:25 pm
You have atheist friends?
Don’t forget to your non-denominational moral relativist politically correct friends:
Merry Everything, anyone!
14 Godfrey // Dec 19, 2006 at 10:59 pm
CAT: regarding the pageant circuit: if you’re daughter was 18 when she started that would obviate my main concern, which is that pageants have a negative effect on girls’ self-image during their formative years.
After adolescence it’s different, of course; although it still seems to me that a girl is setting herself up for a fall by subjecting herself to that sort of constant scrutiny and judgement. I’ve dealt with a lot of actors (a few of whom have been children) and I see what this does to them. They tend to have a warped self image, constantly seeking validation…and this is true regardless of whether they are successful or not. They are very needy people.
From what I’ve gleaned of you I doubt that any child of yours would be negatively affected-you seem like the type that would have a kid with a strong sense of priority. But younger children, without a strong upbringing, thrown into that sort of life… I think it’s horribly sad.
15 seneuba // Dec 20, 2006 at 12:56 am
Does this mean he can change which Democrat loses the 2008 presidential election?
Hmmm…interesting….
16 seneuba // Dec 20, 2006 at 1:00 am
The NY Times has been trying out an older version of one of these since early 2001. They’ve been attempting to re-write Clinton’s legacy but, so far it only seems to work on liberals.
17 Ghoti // Dec 20, 2006 at 1:19 am
To the extreme leftists:
Marry Anything!
18 Godfrey // Dec 20, 2006 at 1:58 am
To the extreme leftist polygamists:
Marry Everything!
19 camojack // Dec 20, 2006 at 5:13 am
To all:
MARRY* CHRISTMAS!!!
*[sic]
20 mig // Dec 20, 2006 at 7:20 am
Make Merry!
21 gafisher // Dec 20, 2006 at 7:29 am
Solve Iraq, send Sherman T’anks.
22 Stop The ACLU // Dec 20, 2006 at 8:59 am
Is Bush Considering Raising Taxes in Exchange for Social Security Reform?…
That is a D.C. rumor floating around via Washington Times:
The Bush administration has sent signals since last month’s elections that the president is prepared to accept some tax increases on upper-income families, worrying congressional Republ…
23 Beerme // Dec 20, 2006 at 7:36 pm
If Bush is considering changing the present by swapping a few documents at his presidential Library in the future, perhaps he should seek Sandy Burglar’s help. Go with what you know…
You must log in to post a comment.