(2002-11-03) — When the results of the latest political poll showed that American’s don’t understand what the two major parties stand for, New York Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr. fired his entire staff of editors. News executives at ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, MSNBC and Fox News are expected to follow suit Monday.
“These results clearly show that we have failed in our basic mission,” said Mr. Sulzberger. “We’re supposed to accurately communicate the news to our readers. We in the news media are supposed to be a trustworthy conduit of information that is the lifeblood of our constitutional republic. If after a year of campaign reporting, our readers still don’t know what these parties stand for, who’s to blame for that? Mea culpa.”
The New York Times’ story on the survey results reported that, “These findings come in the closing days of a campaign that has failed to stir much interest among voters. Nearly half said they were less enthusiastic about voting this time than they have been in past Congressional campaigns.”
Mr. Sulzberger said, “Can you believe a professional journalist would even write such a sentence? If the political process is boring, it’s because the storytellers in that process have made it so.”
Mr. Sulzberger added that the visions of the two major parties are “so simple a school child can understand them…
Democrats: Better living through centralized government.
Republicans: Better living through decentralized freedom.”
Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura announced he will replace The New York Times editors “with ordinary citizens without regard to political party affiliation.”

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