(2006-12-04) — The Iraq Study Group report, available at major bookstores and the White House on Wednesday, will recommend a 12-step plan to get Iraqis to rise up and take control of their country, according to the panel’s regularly-scheduled daily leak.
The new plan would accomplish the main objective of the U.S. military presence in Iraq — a graceful exit.
An unauthorized draft copy of the classified report, released to al Qaeda through the The New York Times today, draws on the popular 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous as a strategic template.
“It really redefines military intervention in terms our society will find more tolerant and sensitive,” said an unnamed source. “We start by admitting that America is powerless over Islamic terrorists and that the Iraq war has become unmanageable.”
The Iraq Study Group has come to believe that “a power greater than the U.S. could restore sanity to the situation,” according the draft of the report. “We call upon President Bush to make a conscious decision to turn our foreign policy over to the care of a higher power, in this case Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.”
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18 responses so far ↓
1 SeaDog // Dec 4, 2006 at 10:57 am
Scott:
This is starting to be not funny. You’re getting too close to the truth with your satire. The scary thing is that this is what the Dims plan on doing if they can get away with it. Think of it; if we can cut military spending, that will free up tons of cash with which to buy votes.
2 Maggie // Dec 4, 2006 at 10:59 am
SeaDog…..funny you should say that!
3 Darthmeister // Dec 4, 2006 at 11:07 am
Bush’s response to Iraq Study Group’s 12 point program:
1.
cut-and-run2.
skedaddle3.
immediately redeploy to Okinawa4.
surrender5.
splitsville6.
unilaterally leave7.
declare peace with dignity8.
involve Iran and Syria in peace process(buwhahahahahaha … morons!)9.
get the helk out of Dodge10.
declare “peace in our time”11.
support troops by immediately bringing them home and then put them on trial for war crimes because they followed illegal and immoral orders to murder innocent Iraqis12. stay and fight until job is done and Iraq can handle its own security issues.
4 Just Ranting // Dec 4, 2006 at 11:22 am
I’m Geo. W. Bush, and I’m a Freedom-aholic.
5 Bill's Bites // Dec 4, 2006 at 11:27 am
LEAK: Iraq Study Group Offers Bush 12-Step Plan…
(2006-12-04) — The Iraq Study Group report, available at major bookstores and the White House on Wednesday, will recommend a 12-step plan to get Iraqis to rise up and take control of their country, according to the panelÂ’s regularly-scheduled daily l…
6 da Bunny // Dec 4, 2006 at 11:39 am
Neville Chamberlain was a “poseur” compared to the current crop of “head-in-the-sand” defeatocrat leftists we have in this country. Get ready, folks…life under the Pelousi/dingy Harry “sharia” rule is gonna be one bumpy nosedive. When Rummy and Bolton bail, you KNOW it’s all downhill from here. May as well just turn over the White House to Hitlary/Osama Obama now, and get it over with.
7 Scott Ott // Dec 4, 2006 at 11:49 am
LEAK: Iraq Study Group Offers Bush 12-Step Plan…
by Scott Ott(2006-12-04) — The Iraq Study Group report, available at major bookstores and the White House on Wednesday, will recommend a 12-step plan to get Iraqis to rise up and take control of their country, according to the panel’s……
8 seneuba // Dec 4, 2006 at 11:53 am
Darth #3…
You forgot a couple:
Place tail between legs and yip-yip-yip all the way home”
Land helicopters on roof of Baghdad Hilton and evacuate all military personnel as al Qaeda fighters cheer
Drop 5,000,000 gas masks on Kurdistan with a “thank-you-for-your-hospitality-but-we-need-to-go-now…hope-this-helps-you-in-defending-against-the-next-gas-attack” note attached to each.
9 seneuba // Dec 4, 2006 at 11:55 am
I wonder how Nancy Pelosi will look wearing a burqa. If the Dem’s have their way, it’ll be “in-fashion thing” for 2007.
10 Big Java // Dec 4, 2006 at 12:27 pm
Just wondering why VICTORY is never talked about!?!?
11 Possumtrot // Dec 4, 2006 at 12:32 pm
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
How’s that for 12-steppin’?
12 Darthmeister // Dec 4, 2006 at 12:49 pm
Big Java, that’s because the leftists have turned the “V” for victory sign into a peace-at-any-cost sign.
It’s amazing how we’ve supposedly have lost the war in Iraq when we’ve won every military engagement, are on track building up Iraq’s security forces and are still boots on the ground as a very effective fighting force. I bet Napoleon would have wished he had been “losing” like this.
13 Darthmeister // Dec 4, 2006 at 12:49 pm
…pushin’ on through.
14 Fred Sinclair // Dec 4, 2006 at 1:51 pm
This in from Pat’s Rick:
Really, I don’t know what the mystery is. The Democrat’s have been
clear about their agenda:
Raise taxes
Impeach Bush
Get out of IRAQ
Control the country for the next 40 years
Make Democrat voting citizens out of all illegal aliens (my add)
15 Just Ranting // Dec 4, 2006 at 2:39 pm
God grant my country the serenity to accept the limitations of earthly forms of government;
the political courage and military courage to defend the God gifted rights of all his children; and the wisdom to know when to exercise each of them.
16 camojack // Dec 4, 2006 at 3:14 pm
I’m all for an eleventeen step plan, personally…but I was too late to the party.
17 Beerme // Dec 4, 2006 at 6:45 pm
Just for today, one day at a time…easy does it!
18 Darthmeister // Dec 4, 2006 at 7:29 pm
Oh, and I forgot
a phased withdrawal.You must log in to post a comment.