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LEAK: Draft of Tony Blair Resignation Speech

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · 44 Comments · · Print This Story Print This Story

(2006-09-07) — Prime Minister Tony Blair’s spokesman today attempted to distance him from excerpts of a draft resignation speech, reportedly written by the beleaguered British leader, that’s making the rounds on the Internet.

According to the unverified manuscript, Mr. Blair plans to say, “Sadly, I must acknowledge that many of my own countrymen and even members of my own party have become Bin Laden’s poodles.”

“They’re demonstrating the same equivocating spirit that cheered Neville Chamberlain’s appeasement of Hitler and later drove Churchill out,” Mr. Blair allegedly wrote. “It’s the same fickle attitude that celebrated the fall of the Berlin wall in 1989, then turned around and brought down Margaret Thatcher the very next year. Psychologists have a word for this condition.”

With this week’s resignation of eight of his own cabinet members, Mr. Blair said he’s “freshening the resume” and looking at his options, including a potential Defense Secretary post in the administration of U.S. President George Bush, “in the event that Congress comes down with the British flu and runs Rumsfeld off.”

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44 responses so far ↓

  • 1 tomg // Sep 7, 2006 at 1:34 pm

    Can he really come here and work? Without going through Mexico?

  • 2 Tony’s Baloney // Sep 7, 2006 at 1:41 pm

    The WORD!
    What’s the word???

  • 3 Just Ranting // Sep 7, 2006 at 1:50 pm

    NUTS!!!

  • 4 Rock Slatestone // Sep 7, 2006 at 1:53 pm

    I wonder what program he is using for his resume.

  • 5 theporche // Sep 7, 2006 at 1:55 pm

    Blimey mate!

  • 6 RedPepper // Sep 7, 2006 at 1:56 pm

    Looking for an appropriate sign-off, Tony?

    How about, “After me, the deluge!”

    And then maybe you could help W a bit with his public speaking …

  • 7 Godfrey // Sep 7, 2006 at 2:03 pm

    RedPepper: I don’t know how America would feel about Bush having a crisp British accent…

  • 8 gafisher // Sep 7, 2006 at 2:13 pm

    On this date in 1940 the “appeased” Adolf Hitler’s blitz on London began; the bombings continuing for 57 days thereafter.

    Neville Chaimberlain could not be reached for comment, though it was rumored his head was buried further in the sand that night than when he first announced the peace he’d arranged with Germany.

  • 9 red satellites // Sep 7, 2006 at 2:15 pm

    For Proper King’s English…press 1

  • 10 raybury // Sep 7, 2006 at 2:23 pm

    To update Shaw: We would have Rumsfeld’s retirement already, but for the Rumsfeldretirists.

    Really, I would love the guy to stay in office till he’s 100, but in all realism he should have been replaced by one of his competent lieutenants by now. And I truly suspect he would have, had there not been so much pressure from the left, which he is naturally resisting. In the end, though, that is not good for him, for the Defense Department (which needs to establish a tradition of good leaders, not just one in a row), and the nation. If the Senanistas would just shut up about it for six month, he probably would retire.

    Semper fi, DHR!

  • 11 random // Sep 7, 2006 at 2:24 pm

    Give it a couple of weeks, and Nancy will be calling for Karl Roves head. Reminiscent of the French Revolution in Paris where the mob lobbed off everyone’s head that disagreed mob mentality and then proceeded to drink themselves into oblivion while promoting thier own sexual pleasures to the exclusion of everything moral.

  • 12 R.A.M. // Sep 7, 2006 at 2:28 pm

    Secretary of Defense?

    How about “Independent Candidate in ‘08″?

    I would vote for him over McLAME!

  • 13 R.A.M. // Sep 7, 2006 at 2:30 pm

    Whoops! Forgot about that pesky Constitution American born thing.

    BUT,—maybe Ahrnold will have that changed by ‘08???

  • 14 seneuba // Sep 7, 2006 at 2:49 pm

    Bin Laden has poodles???? I didn’t think it was customary for dogs to be a part of the normal Middle Eastern home.

  • 15 Godfrey // Sep 7, 2006 at 3:03 pm

    Totally off topic, but…man I love this country. I was reading about the little ado over ABC’s “The Path to 9/11″ and saw this open statement to ABC from defenders of the Clinton cabinet:

    “Given your stated obligation to ‘get it right,’ we urge you to do so by not airing this drama until the egregious factual errors are corrected, an endeavor we could easily assist you with…

    Can you imagine what that sentence would mean if it came from, say, Stalin or Mao? It would have been hand-delivered by armed soldiers. Add a German accent and you’ll begin to get my drift.

    It’s good to be an American.

  • 16 streeter // Sep 7, 2006 at 3:48 pm

    Why don’t the Clintons just produce their own hyper-accurate dramatization of his version of his-tory.
    Bill would have to play himself as nobody else would have the gall(gal). Any other casting ideas?

  • 17 Ms RightWing, Ink // Sep 7, 2006 at 3:55 pm

    Good thing most of your ancestors left England when they did. My ancestors came over in a Volvo so I owe no allegiance to the king, prince, princess or queen-gee I am not sure, but dang if they are surrendering left and right, who cares.

    I hate to see Moslem’s driving around in MG’s and Triumphs. Worse yet Austin Americans. Second thought-let them drive those old cheap so and so’s

  • 18 JDFlanagan // Sep 7, 2006 at 4:01 pm

    #12 If Blair took over there, it would have to be “Defence”

  • 19 camojack // Sep 7, 2006 at 4:21 pm

    I see a lot of similarities between Blair and “Dubya”; too bad their respective publics are [mostly] too stupid to appreciate them…

  • 20 Godfrey // Sep 7, 2006 at 4:23 pm

    streeter: Bill would have to play himself as nobody else would have the gall…

    I don’t know about that. I think Whoopi Goldberg could pull it off.

    Any other casting ideas?

    In fact I do: with a fat suit, a little hairspray and some heavy rouge, James Gandolfini could play Monica Lewinski. He’s always come off as a bit of a tart.

    And if Peter Sellers were still alive he’d make a great Hillary, but I guess I’d have to go with Sean Penn instead. They have the same politics and, lately, the same haircut.

  • 21 Libby Gone // Sep 7, 2006 at 4:24 pm

    Never before in the field of Politics have so many unappreciated those too few….

  • 22 JamesonLewis3rd // Sep 7, 2006 at 4:30 pm

    Mrs. Premise: I just spent four hours burying the cat.
    Mrs. Conclusion: *Four hours* to bury a cat?
    Mrs. Premise: Yes - it wouldn’t keep still.

    :shock:

  • 23 The Great Santini // Sep 7, 2006 at 4:42 pm

    Despite the lyrics to an old English popular tune, there may not always be an England. With Blair’s departure, it may become the United Kaliphate of Mullahland.

    Labor’s domestic policies stink—Labor = Democrats with British accents—but Blair stood fast on the global terror war (unlike US Democrats) and on the defense of Israel. Who else in Labor would do either without going all wobbly? Worse, there appears to be no Churchill or Thatcher within the Tory ranks who’s urging the Brits not to turn the U.K. into Fantasy Island.

    As Scott’s satire points out, this ain’t good, Roy. A sad day for Mother England.

  • 24 GnuCarSmell // Sep 7, 2006 at 4:56 pm

    Is Secretary of English open?

  • 25 JamesonLewis3rd // Sep 7, 2006 at 4:58 pm

    I think that all good, right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being sick and tired. I’m certainly not, and I’m sick and tired of being told that I am…..

    :shock:

  • 26 JamesonLewis3rd // Sep 7, 2006 at 5:04 pm

    The Funniest Joke in the World

    Voiceover: This man is Ernest Scribbler (Michael Palin), writer of jokes. In a few moments, he will have written the funniest joke in the world… and, as a consequence, he will die… laughing.

    (Scribbler writes his joke and dies laughing. His mother (Eric Idle) then enters the room. She is shocked by the death of her son, and seeing the paper in Scribbler’s hands, she reads it, dying of laughter as well.)
    . . .
    Voiceover: It was a fantastic success. Over sixty thousand times as powerful as Britain’s great pre-war joke [Cut to stock footage of Neville Chamberlain returning from Munich and holding up the Munich Agreement, the "this is peace in our time"-bit.], and one which Hitler just couldn’t match.
    [Cut to stock footage of Hitler giving a speech.]
    Hitler: [subtitle] My dog’s got no nose!
    Soldier: [subtitle] How does he smell?
    Hitler: [subtitle] Awful!
    . . .
    Voiceover: In 1945, peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention, and in 1950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again.

  • 27 GnuCarSmell // Sep 7, 2006 at 5:06 pm

    “If my Democrat colleagues spent half the time helping us fight this war on terror as they do attacking the administration, we’d be a lot closer to winning this war.”

    Sen. Jim DeMint (R-South Carolina)

    Amen, brother.

  • 28 Beerme // Sep 7, 2006 at 6:37 pm

    The great success of global capitalism has the socialists worried. Their spontaneous people’s revolution hasn’t happened yet, as promised. They think perhaps that Islamofascists can carry off what they’ve been unable to achieve for so long. Then they’ll just go around and pick up the pieces.

    There’s a few o’ them socialist fellers over there in England, ain’t there?

  • 29 Beerme // Sep 7, 2006 at 6:38 pm

    er, ahem!

  • 30 Darthmeister // Sep 7, 2006 at 7:34 pm

    Well, now I guess we can watch the Brits become dhimmified, along with Eurabia, right before our very eyes.

    Wouldn’t be surprised if they end up with a moonbat PM on the order of Howeird Dean.

    God save the queen!

  • 31 prettyold // Sep 7, 2006 at 7:36 pm

    It was rumored today,that Rumsfeld might just possibly retire and Dubya would appoint Lieberman as Rummy’s replacement.Wouldn’t that be funny?

  • 32 Darthmeister // Sep 7, 2006 at 7:46 pm

    Deconstructing more headlines:

    AL JAZEERA VIDEO SHOWS OSAMA MEETING 9/11 HIJACKERS…
    Bu$Hitler faked it all since we know he ordered the demolition of the WTC

    ABC ALTERS 9/11 FILM DUE TO POLITICAL PRESSURE
    First Amendment liberals wouldn’t censor a movie or parts of a movie, would they? Why … that would make them partisan hypocrites wouldn’t it?

    CBSNEWSNYT POLL: Many Americans Feel Less Safe…
    With Katie Couric as the new CBS anchorette

    BRODER: Media Owes Karl Rove An Apology…
    Why is that Mr. Broder? The lamestream media still doesn’t think it did anything wrong turning a non-story into a media-driven witch hunt.

    BOOK: Cindy Sheehan fantasized about going back in time and killing infant George W. Bush…
    Ahhh, such love and peace emanating from another whacked out anti-war moonbat. Say Cindy, get off the ’shrooms and start seeking professonal help.

  • 33 RedPepper // Sep 7, 2006 at 7:52 pm

    prettyold: If you ask me, you have a twisted sense of humor!

    Joe is certainly preferable to Ned Lament, but SecDef?

    Get someone who might reasonably be suspected (by our foes, anyway!) of being a sociopath for that job!

  • 34 Ms RightWing, Ink // Sep 7, 2006 at 9:58 pm

    BAIT HOOK & SWITCH PART II

    At long last the final chapter has arived. It is a little longer than the first, but hope you enjoy the end of this romantic thriller.

    http://shellyscafe.blogspot.com/

  • 35 Darthmeister // Sep 7, 2006 at 10:20 pm

    Ms RightWing:

    The monkey took
    One look at Jim
    And threw the peanuts
    Back at him
    He needed
    Burma-Shave

  • 36 everthink // Sep 7, 2006 at 10:56 pm

    Hey guys,

    Guess what? I just volunteered for the Katherine Harris campaign. I think I can contribute most there.

    Of course, Cruella is toast, but I’m hoping to get a chance explain the Bush’s plan for world conquest to the Republican base.

    Wish me luck,

    Everthink?

  • 37 Maggie // Sep 8, 2006 at 1:26 am

    Prettyold
    Just read your post on the previous thread about Nancy Pelosi…..funny
    Someone said that she has had more lazers than the Star Ship enterprise.

  • 38 Darthmeister // Sep 8, 2006 at 4:57 am

    you know, neverthink, you almost make me believe that stupidity is genetic-based.

    BTW, how’s Plamegate coming along. Armitage finally screwed up enough courage to admit he was the original “leaker”. Of course the left-wing bloggers in their BDS dementia are still whining how Rove, Cheney, and Libby were using Armitage’s “slip up” as opportunity to try and trash the pathetic liar Joe Wilson by “re-outting” his super-duper ultra-top secret deep cover CIA spy wife, Valerie Plame.

  • 39 Effeminem // Sep 8, 2006 at 5:40 am

    #32, redpepper, are you nominating me for Seceratary of Defense?

  • 40 onlineanalyst // Sep 8, 2006 at 6:25 am

    ‘Tis a pity that the dhimmicrats are undermining free speech with their not-so-veiled threats to yank the ABC production via the FCC. Is this latest effort just a foretaste of the “official party line” that the Dems will impose on the media should they seize power? The Pravda Party is more interested in its revisionist history than in the freedoms of American citizens. McCain-Feingold was just the opening act in the efforts to stifle speech.

    PC-imposed language from the “top” by academia and the incorporation of “Farenheit 9-11″ as the “official” version of history in classrooms are just the tip of the brave new world of DUmbocrat “leadership”. Manipulate the young, who have undeveloped BS-detectors, and the rest will fall behind.

    The Dems are taking a page from Ahmajihadist and his masters in the Communist regimes.

    Unlike Moore’s “F 9-11″ filled with disinformation,”The Path to 9-11″ bills itself as a docu-drama, not a docu-”mentary. Bozell and Hewitt indicate that neither Clinton nor Bush are exonerated by the presentation. However, they say that the point of the production is not to place blame but to demonstrate the evil aims of an Islamic ideology determined to destroy us.

    Take a look at this commentary (scroll back from comments) and the observations of the posters that follow for the chilling implications of a party-controlled media.

    I worry about the Democrats, who would like to erase all memory of the events of that fateful day and who politicize any reference to it through their objections.

  • 41 tomg // Sep 8, 2006 at 6:47 am

    Khatami’s speech at the National Cathedral leaked!
    http://www.cathedral.org/cathedral/programs/lecture060907.shtml
    Chilling.
    Wish the Dem’s would demand a re-write :)

  • 42 onlineanalyst // Sep 8, 2006 at 7:03 am

    The latest AlJazeera videotape confirms a link between Bin Laden and the 9-11 conspirators. The web of terrorism is all of a piece, however the naysayers want to spin the donkey.

    Kathleen Parker offers a fair and balanced view about the Dem’s objections to “The Path to 9-11″ and justifies some of the editing that took place in “Toppling the Twin Towers of Babel”.

    On the other hand, “Behind Enemy Lines” suggests that Sandy Berger the Burglar doth protest too much.

  • 43 puzzletop // Sep 8, 2006 at 12:30 pm

    I’m glad I don’t subscribe to my cable outlet for Al Jazeera, especially since ABC, NBC and CouricBS are doing reruns of “heroic” clips of Islamo-facists every twenty minutes for free on the network stations. I’m saving money and Al Quaida is too with so much free air-time. What a country!

  • 44 forsaken // Sep 18, 2006 at 3:10 pm

    Meh. This race is doomed to destroy itself anyway so I really don’t understand all your political fervor.

    In the case that the imbecilic worm-like far Leftists win this power-struggle — we will all be consumed by indecision and aggression from outside forces. The aggression of folks like your buzz-word-ified “Islamo-fascists” whom if you really look closely, have a lot in common with the habits and methodologies of the Neo-Conservatives… sans the beer guts and stable/complacent lifestyles.

    If the arrogant holier-than-thou Neo-cons win the struggle for power — we as a race will destroy the World through greed, bigotry, corruption and (worst of all) a complete lack of concern for the natural World that we need to keep healthy to survive.

    We’re doomed as a race because 1% of the population of the World has about 99% of the power and resources. That 99% of the power is in the hands of a pack of shamelessly selfish hate-mongers such as the administration that sits in the usurped throne of “America” today.

    For the sake of this race — we must stop dividing who we like and who we don’t based on a ridiculous and contrived line drawn in the potical sand.

    We must learn to embrace our neighbor and the differences between us as people.

    One of the worst things about the Neo-Conservative segment of society is the shocking hypocrisy of their lack of consideration for their religious beliefs when compared to their willingness to murder human beings so that they can continue driving their frivolously absurb SUV’s, mini-vans and muscle cars.

    No where in the Bible does it say, “Thou shalt slay women and children in order to keep gas prices low enough for you to be complacent.”

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