(ScrappleFace Network News Audiocast Transcript. To listen, scroll down, or subscribe to the ScrappleFace podcast at iTunes.)
Former House Majority Leader Tom Delay announced today that he won’t seek re-election and will soon resign from Congress. House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi called the news “devastating” and immediately introduced a bill to block Delay’s departure. The California Democrat, in an emotional news conference, said, “Tom Delay is essential to the future of this nation, since all of our Democrat Congressional campaign ads are built around him. He must not be allowed to leave until after the elections.”
A new study shows that TV networks aimed at Black Americans carry far more fast-food advertising than their white-TV counterparts. The prominence of McDonald’s on cable channels like B.E.T. not only leads to more black childhood obesity, researchers say, but it may also account for more violence against blacks, like the recent police attack on Representative Cynthia McKinney, whose new hairstyle, inspired by Ronald McDonald, may have caused Capitol Hill police to mistake her for an ordinary American, rather than a Congresswoman.
The Islamic Republic of Iran continued its string of announcements about new weapons today when it revealed that it has successfully launched a “super modern flying boat”. The news comes on the heels of revelations that Iran has an orbiting satellite launched by the Russians, a multiple warhead missile, and a missile that can outrun any ship in the sea. President Mahmoud Amadinejad, who has expressed interest in seeing Israel wiped from the map, and has rejected a U.N. resolution to halt uranium enrichment, said today that the “super modern flying boat” would be used only to transport barrels of electricity from Iran’s nuclear power plants to isolated mountain villages.
The Department of Homeland Security said there are no plans to increase the threat level to orange, despite a substantial leap in the level of al Qaeda chatter intercepted by U.S. intelligence. An unnamed security official said most of the increase in chatter is not related to terror activities, but to the possible defection of NBC’s Katie Couric to become anchor of the CBS Evening News. CBS Chairman Les Moonves said it’s only natural that excitement would rise among the network’s most devoted viewers.
And finally, a jury yesterday found admitted-terrorist Zacarias Moussaoui eligible for the death penalty just five years after his arrest on charges related to the 9/11 terror attacks. As the jury left the room, the would-be martyr shouted, “You’ll never get my blood. God Curse you all”; which is a traditional Muslim blessing, expressing thanks to those who may send him to his eternal reward. Moussaoui said most martyrdom operations happen quickly, in a sudden flash of heat and light, but he has gained glory from his slow and patient approach — a technique he calls crockpot martyrdom.
4 responses so far ↓
1 Pros and Cons » A better Republican Caucus without Delay? // Apr 4, 2006 at 8:40 am
[...] UPDATE: Mr. Ott agrees, rather amusingly. Apparently, Nancy Pelosi broke down and cried at the news. [...]
2 Pros and Cons » This is serious, but reads like parody. // Apr 4, 2006 at 8:56 am
[...] Hat tip, Scrappleface. [...]
3 All Things Beautiful // Apr 4, 2006 at 1:46 pm
The DeLay Factor
It certainly marks the end of an era for a well respected and loyal Republican spanning some twenty one odd years, and marks the fall of “yet another victim of the Democrats’ politics of personal destruction-the only politics they know.”
4 Don Surber // Apr 4, 2006 at 3:25 pm
The Best Of Tuesday
Scrappleface: Delay Quits, Pelosi Cries (SNN Newscast Transcript)
Comment: I question the veracity of this report.
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