(2005-12-21) — Congressional Republicans hailed the revival of “the Reagan revolution for smaller government” today as they seemed assured of mustering the votes needed to slash the projected growth of the federal budget deficit by one half of one percent per year in each of the next five years.

Democrats immediately attacked the $39.7 billion in reductions to scheduled spending increases, and called Republican sponsors of the bill “heartless, draconian thugs.”

But Acting House Majority Leader Roy Blunt, R-MO, said his party would “win this one for the Gipper” — a reference to former President Ronald Reagan.

“These massive cuts in previously-planned spending growth represent the equivalent of two large cups of espresso per day per federal government employee,” said a triumphant Rep. Blunt. “Republican candidates will now be able to campaign proudly in 2006 under the banner of the party that virtually reduced government spending — or at least we can run as the party that restrained the planned expansion of government spending, which, from the perspective of future hindsight, will appear to be actual budget-cutting despite the real increases in federal expenditures.”

Republican Chairman Ken Mehlman, in anticipation of the budget victory, said the party has already ordered millions of bumper stickers which read…

“Vote Republican: America Can’t Do No Better”

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