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Energy Bill Offers Incentives to Burn Cheese

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · No Comments · · Print This Story Print This Story

(2005-04-21) — An $8 billion energy bill headed for approval in the U.S. House of Representatives offers incentives to companies that develop technologies that use renewable petroleum alternatives such as clean-burning American cheese.

The bill would offer government grants to manufacturers of vehicles powered by cheese combustion or decomposition as well as gasoline/cheese hybrids.

“The nation’s strategic cheese reserves are at an all-time high, thanks to government incentives to dairy farmers,” said Rep. Henry A. Waxman, D-CA. “We now produce cheese so cheap that we have to give it away. By using more tax dollars to jumpstart American ingenuity, we’ll soon be free from OPEC oppression and we’ll give our nation’s endangered dairy cows a new lease on life.”

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Tags: U.S. News

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  • 1 basil's blog // Apr 21, 2005 at 1:01 pm

    Lunch: 4/21/2005

    Try one of these specials with your breakfast: ScrappleFace smiles and says

  • 2 Eyes On The Ball News // Apr 21, 2005 at 1:31 pm

    Wisconsin Hunters Launch Into Space

    Update: The Federal Government wants to take cheese for use as car fuel, thwarting Wisconsinite’s plans for its use as rocket fuel. “It runs on the gas given off by moldy cheese!” said one plucky observer waiting for the takeoff.