(2004-12-31) — In response to the public outcry over the $2,500 ticket price for a package of exclusive presidential inauguration events, Wal-Mart today announced it will offer its own inauguration package for only $24.83.

Top Republican fund-raisers have complained to The New York Times that the financial burden of the $2,500 package of events, exclusive parties and receptions may force them to cut corners elsewhere — choosing “less adequate” accomodations and “coarser” restaurants during their stay in Washington D.C., according to one unnamed source.

The Wal-Mart “Faded Glory Inauguration Bonanza” includes unlimited viewing of the parade, swearing in and other events from a comfortable lawn chair in the Wal-Mart electronics department.

“It’s really better than going to D.C.,” said an unnamed spokesman for the giant discount retailer. “And you don’t have to be a Republican fundraiser to qualify. In fact, you don’t have to be a Republican. Anybody with $24.83 can borrow a lawn chair from the Wal-Mart Garden Center and watch the inaugural events on about 30 TVs all at once. You can enjoy the pageantry without ever having to meet a politician. And once you’ve paid your $24.83, you won’t owe anybody anything.”