(2004-12-23) — Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, who yesterday claimed to be “saddened” by the suffering and death of U.S. troops, has reportedly delegated his personal grieving to a top aide, according to an unnamed Pentagon source.

“Rumsfeld makes the daily anguish list (DAL) and emails it to the aide, who takes care of heartache, weeping and the like,” said the source, who has worked in the Pentagon since the Clinton administration.

The revelation comes as Republican Senators like John McCain, Chuck Hagel, Susan Collins and other stalwart conservatives struggle to maintain their already-depleted confidence levels regarding the Defense Secretary.

“By appointing a grief chief, Rumsfeld shows that emotional caring is a top Pentagon priority,” the source said. “And it frees him up to focus on his primary mission of answering media questions about his insensitivity.”

Mr. Rumsfeld is reportedly also close to naming another associate to take over his second-guessing of strategic decisions, struggling with low self-esteem and worrying about job security.

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