(2004-12-22) — The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) today filed a class-action suit on behalf of monotheists seeking the removal of wetlands from government-owned property because they visually portray the ‘primordial soup’ where some believe life began and from which humanity evolved.

“These swamps represent a government endorsement of philosophical naturalism-a faith-based belief system tantamount to religion,” said an unnamed ACLU spokesman. “Christians, Jews, Muslims and other monotheists shouldn’t be forced to see such things, nor to fund them with their tax dollars.”

The lawsuit claims that philosophical naturalism is a de facto religion that includes a dramatic, if fanciful, story of the origins of humanity which scholars call creation ex nihilo via nihilo (out of nothing by means of nothing).

“For many years, the government has been protecting and funding the restoration of these symbols of all that naturalists hold dear,” said the source. “This violation of the establishment clause of the first amendment has extended to the government-controlled schools where this religion is taught as fact, rather than faith. The situational morality of naturalism has been forced on America’s children using tax dollars. This is, in effect, an involuntary tithe to the church of naturalistic philosophy.”

The ACLU does not oppose primordial soup displays on private property, just those funded with taxpayer dollars in national parks and on other government-controlled land.

The lawsuit seeks the destruction of all government-owned wetlands, and a refund to taxpayers of all school tax dollars paid during the past 50 years.

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