(2004-11-24) — A work stoppage by toll collectors on the Pennsylvania Turnpike has Commonwealth officials “in a panic” over how to replace these highly-skilled professionals during the busy holiday weekend.

“You can’t just go out in the streets and find people who want to spend their days sitting down, listening to loud music and acting surly while taking money from people and putting it in a drawer,” said an unnamed spokesman for the Pennsylvania Turnpike Commission. “Who’s going to do that for only $39,000 per year plus fully paid health insurance, eye and dental coverage, a prescription drug benefits program, 15 paid holidays, 10 sick days per year, four weeks vacation after 16 years and participation in the state retirement program.?”

The official said E-ZPass lanes, which automatically deduct tolls from driver accounts, would remain open during the strike.

However, a spokesman for the toll collectors union said, “Saying that machines can replace humans in this business is like saying that machines can replace bank tellers-inconceivable. People demand the human touch when passing money back and forth.”