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Bush Orders Military Draft to Win More Votes

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · No Comments

(2004-10-15) — President George Bush today issued an executive order reinstituting the military draft in order to boost his chances of winning reelection on November 2.

Top Democrat leaders like Howard Dean, Michael Moore and John Forbes Kerry have warned for weeks that Mr. Bush plans to restart the draft if he wins a second term, so today’s sudden announcement surprised many.

White House spokesman Scott McClellan said the president made the decision based on new polling data which shows that Mr. Bush enjoys overwhelming popularity among U.S. military personnel, and 94 percent of them plan to vote.

“Two-thirds of the military want to see President Bush beat Sen. Kerry,” said Mr. McClellan, “So, Karl Rove convinced the president that more soldiers means more votes for Bush-Cheney.”

In the first round of the draft, every college student in the country will be called up to serve in the Army immediately, according to the order.

“If I understand the data correctly,” said Mr. Bush, “this move alone should turn hundreds of thousands of America-hating, anti-Bush slackers into patriotic, voting Republicans. That ought to help put the swing in a few states.”

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Tags: Politics

0 responses so far ↓

  • 1 La Shawn Barber's Corner // Oct 15, 2004 at 9:53 pm

    Superiority Of Western Culture: Example #1

    Not-really-related: Just One Minute blogs about the Bush ìSpecial Olympicsî flyer. Western culture, though superior, is obviously on the decline. I donít know what took me so long to discover Scrappleface. Funny stuff.

  • 2 Truth, Lies & Common Sense // Oct 17, 2004 at 8:24 pm

    Kerry says he will reinitiate the Draft

    It seems dumb to admit that if your elected you will reinitiate the Draft….

  • 3 Mudville Gazette // Oct 18, 2004 at 8:39 am

    MilBlogs:

    FREE SPEECH FROM THOSE WHO HELP MAKE IT POSSIBLE THE POST EXCHANGE: I’ve asked my fellow MilBloggers to submit “notable posts” they’ve written in the recent past for inclusion here, with a quick summary in their own words. I’ve taken…