(2004-10-13) — Although many political commentators saw President George Bush and rival John Forbes Kerry battle to a tie in tonight’s final debate, the U.S. Supreme Court has intervened and awarded the victory to Mr. Bush.
In a terse one-page ruling, the court said that political pundits had overstepped their authority in declaring the match a draw.
Mr. Kerry, who is also a U.S. senator, promised to abide by the court’s decision “out of respect for the institution and pity for Mr. Bush, who struggled valiantly in the face of my withering logic and overwhelming presidential aura.”
As with previous debates, the winner receives a brief bump in the polls and a year’s supply of Eskimo Pies.
0 responses so far ↓
1 Generation Why? // Oct 13, 2004 at 11:32 pm
KNOCKOUT!
Tonight’s debate was supposed to be the Democrat’s stomping ground, but Bush clearly dominated. All Bush had to do was tie Kerry on this debate to equal a win…. but he came out and won it! If you’re still undecided now, something’s wrong with you…
2 La Shawn Barber's Corner // Oct 14, 2004 at 6:44 am
Bush 3, Kerry 0
Bush 3, Kerry 0. Now letís get this election thing over with it.
Bush is the better man, but will he win? He will protect the country the way John Kerry canít. But will he win? Bush is a Christian and a patriot who loves America. Kerry is an elite g…
3 Patterico's Pontifications // Oct 15, 2004 at 7:52 pm
A Little Humor for You Liberals
Scott Ott says that the Supreme Court has issued a terse one-page ruling awarding the win in the latest debate to President Bush….
4 Les Jones Blog // Oct 18, 2004 at 9:25 am
The One Where Les Posts a Bunch of Links
This could be a major blow to global warming theory. The computer model that generated the classic hockey stick graph showing drastic temperature increases appears to be flawed. Plugging random data into the program produces the same hockeystick graph….