(2004-08-28) — Democrat presidential candidate John Forbes Kerry today warned that America faces “a celebrity exhaustion crisis” if President George Bush wins reelection in November.

“It’s just another example of how this administration fails to care for the ordinary, needy people of this great country,” said Mr. Kerry, a Vietnam veteran who is also a U.S. Senator. “Many celebrities-actors, musicians, comedians-already teeter on the brink of fatigue as they attend a plethora of Democrat fundraisers and anti-Bush protest events, and appear on TV news shows as political experts.”

“I’m worried that they won’t even make it through October, let alone four more years,” said Mr. Kerry. “And if Janeane Garofalo, Bruce Springsteen, Moby, Ben Affleck or Margaret Cho wind up in some kind of 30-day recovery program or if their entertainment careers begin falter, they can send the bill directly to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. George W. Bush is wearing out these national treasures.”

Mr. Kerry said if he’s elected, the crisis will end, “because politically conservative celebrities are usually preoccupied with singing, acting or making jokes. In other words, they’re not smart enough to get on a cable news show, or C-Span and debate Al Franken.”

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