(2004-08-21) — Just hours after the unveiling of the Alcohol Without Liquid vaporizer at a New York bar, a competing establishment announced what it calls “an even greater breakthrough in alcohol delivery systems.”
While the vaporizer uses pressurized oxygen to allow customers to inhale a shot of alcohol as a mist, the competing device uses nano-technology to inject beverages directly into the cornea of the consumer’s eye through a tiny tube.
Both are being hailed by scientists as examples of “America’s global leadership in significant technologies that make life better for the common man.”
“We’re excited about the Ocular Injection Nano Keg,” said an unnamed bartender in Manhattan, NY. “We had nine of them installed under the bar. Our customers simply place their foreheads against the bar, stare at the logo of the beverage they desire and a miniscule needle delivers an entire shot of whiskey, or whatever, right into their eyeball.”
Customer response has been enthusiastic, according to the bartender.
“Women love it because it doesn’t smear their lipstick,” he said. “Men just like the idea of jamming a needle into their cornea. And the nanotube technology means that you don’t even have to remove your soft contacts.”
