(2004-07-06) — Democrat presidential hopeful John Forbes Kerry has chosen North Carolina Sen. John Edwards as his running mate, placing the first-term Senator “a heartbeat from anonymity.”

“If something should happen to me,” said Mr. Kerry, “The American people need a man to step in and assume the mantle of anonymity which is my destiny.”

A Kerry campaign spokesman said the decision came down to which of the top-running choices had the least memorable name.

“Gephardt and Vilsack were too distinctive,” said one unnamed campaign source. “John Edwards is the perfect name for a man who will slip quietly below the surface of the river of history, never to rise again.”

Horn Abbot, the company that makes the Trivial Pursuit board game, announced this morning it had already created the trivia card for the next edition of the game.

“Name both candidates on the Democrat ticket which lost to President George Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney in 2004. Hint: They both start with John, and were little-known U.S. Senators.”

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