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Bin Laden Withdraws Support for Kerry

by Scott Ott · No Comments

(2004-03-21) — Religious philosopher Usama bin Laden today announced that although he had been among the unnamed foreign leaders who support John Forbes Kerry’s election as U.S. president, he has withdrawn his support.

“At first, I was an anyone-but-Bush man,” said Mr. bin Laden on an audiotape aired by al Jazeera TV. “But the more I hear about Kerry’s strategy of nuanced engagement, the more I like Bush. At least I know where I stand with the Great Satan from Texas.”

Mr. bin Laden said he was concerned that his emissaries would be “tied up for years in fruitless talks with the Kerry administration.”

“Next thing you know, al Qaeda will be chairing the U.N. Human Rights Commission,” he said. “We don’t have time for that kind of nonsense.”

The Kerry campaign released the following brief statement: “There are no longer any foreign leaders who support Senator Kerry’s candidacy.”

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Tags: Politics