(2004-01-09) — U.S. President George Bush will announce next week a visionary plan to court Latino voters by putting his conservative base on the moon.
“Many of his core supporters think the president has strayed from his conservative ideals,” said an unnamed senior administration official, “When the base is on the moon, Latinos will feel more comfortable in America since the remaining Republicans will favor lax immigration laws, liberal social services policies and perhaps even Sabado Gigante on basic cable.”
The president’s plan envisions using the moon as a launching pad for missions to Mars.
“We’re going to transplant the heart of the red states to the surface of the red planet,” said the official. “Absentee ballots will be emailed to the base on the moon and later Mars.”
