(2004-01-01) — Usama bin Laden’s al Qaeda terror network claimed credit for a coughing attack in Times Square last night which left one NYU student red faced and gasping for air.
“I just couldn’t stop coughing,” said the unnamed college freshmen. “It felt like something was tickling the back of my throat, but no matter how much I hacked it wouldn’t dislodge. I immediately thought of the code Orange terror alert. Finally, I just took a sip of water and the attack abated.”
Intercepted email messages among known al Qaeda operatives show the terror group rejoiced after the coughing attack which they monitored via webcam.
“The infidel nearly required medical attention, Praise be Allah,” wrote one al Qaeda cell leader. “This should stop the Great Satan from claiming that Americans are safe on their own soil.”
Homeland Security officials this morning are still trying to determine how al Qaeda sparked the coughing spell.
“We’re also looking into several complaints of potentially terror-related leg cramps in Times Square,” said an unnamed official.

Post This to Your Facebook