(2007-10-30) — With a new study showing that more than 1-in-10 U.S. public high schools has a dropout rate of 40 percent or more, the National Education Association (NEA) today hailed its union members, “who work hard everyday in America’s highly-productive dropout factories.”
“We make a measurable difference in the lives of kids,” said an unnamed [...]

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(2007-10-29) — With the success of last week’s simulated news conference on the California wildfires by the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), mid-level bureaucrats at the disaster-relief agency have reportedly initiated plans to stage “natural” disasters as well.
The imitation news briefing, which featured FEMA employees pretending to be genuine journalists, was “just a test run [...]

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(2007-10-27) — After Democrats on Capitol Hill announced that they plan to reduce their work week to four days so members can spend more time in their home districts, President George Bush proposed that Congress “go even further in their lives of legislative leisure by returning to the work schedule specified in the U.S. Constitution.”
The [...]

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(2007-10-25) — With the deadline looming to fix or repeal the Alternative Minimum Tax (AMT) before it pinches an additional 19 million Americans, House Ways and Means Chairman Charles Rangel, D-NY, today had planned to introduce what he called “the mother of all reforms” to the U.S. tax code.
However, this morning he learned that [...]

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(2007-10-23) — In a newly-released audiotape, al Qaeda leader Usama bin Laden spoke directly to Muslim insurgents in Iraq, calling them “a pack of sniveling sissies for collapsing in the face of the recent U.S. military surge.”
“When I see how you cower,” Mr. Bin Laden said, “I’m ashamed to wear the flowing robe of Muslim [...]

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(2007-10-22) — Just days after author J.K. Rowling publicly revealed that a fictional character in her Harry Potter series was secretly a homosexual, U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald today empaneled a grand jury and vowed to find out who ‘outed’ Dumbledore, the imaginary headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Mr. Fitzgerald is best known as [...]

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(2007-10-21) — Rep. Bobby Jindal, R-LA, the 36 year-old son of Indian immigrants, won the gubernatorial election in Louisiana yesterday as “part of a Republican strategy to keep a few token non-whites in high-profile posts to deflect attention from the party’s inherent racism and anti-immigrant platform,” according to a news release from the Democrat National [...]

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