Scientists urge the public to simply accept the existence of the Higgs Boson — the God particle — but not to blame it for “all the terrible stuff that happens to you. Most of that is your fault, or caused by jerks.”

Scientists from Europe’s Large Hadron Collider Thursday announced a high degree of certainty that they have discovered the elusive Higgs Boson, the so-called God particle, but not everyone believes, and many are angry at it.

While the news was greeted with joy by many scientists around the world, others expressed rage, disappointment and bitterness toward the God particle.

“What has the God particle ever done for me?” said one physics grad student at MIT. “If it does exist, but doesn’t care enough to fix my messed up life, what good is it?”

Others were even more harsh in their reaction, accusing the Higgs Boson of actively working to scuttle their plans, to close doors of opportunity and to cheat them out of satisfying romantic relationships.