Posts Tagged ‘Zuckerberg’

‘Bad Actors’ Ban to Shut Down Facebook by 2019

(2018-08-01) — As Facebook announced it had eliminated 32 pages engaged in what it called “coordinated inauthentic behavior,” a spokesman said the firm is committed to remove all inauthentic content by “bad actors,” and thus to completely shut down the social media platform by late 2019.

“Whoever set up these now-defunct accounts went to great lengths to obscure their true identies,” the Facebook spokesman said. “During our probe, we discovered it’s not just Russian agents abusing the platform that way. Facebook is riddled with bad actors pretending to be someone they’re not, clogging the service with inauthentic content aimed at making others think more highly of them than they ought.”

The inaccurate picture of real life manufactured by the vast majority of Facebook users stokes envy, acrimony and division, the source said. For the good of humanity, the company decided to shut down all such accounts.

“In the beginning, we just wanted a place for people to connect and strengthen relationships,” he said, “but our users, not to mention our advertisers, have turned Facebook into a cesspool of phoniness, staged photos, and inaccurate descriptions of daily life that make other people feel inadequate.”

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Facebook Redesign Mimics Newspaper, Delivered Daily

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced yesterday that the social site’s new interface will look more like a newspaper, in response to user nostalgia over the papers they no longer subscribe to at home.

“Not only will it look like a newspaper,” said Zuckerberg, “but starting next week, Facebook will be delivered to you once each day.”

The young billionaire predicted that daily Facebook delivery would increase GDP in the U.S. and other nations by up to 11 percent, since the current 24/7 non-stop streaming interface is “an addictive, soul-sapping time-suck that kills worker productivity.”

Zuckerberg said users of the Facebook mobile app — for iDevices and Android — will soon get “the most realistic newspaper experience ever” when the firm rolls out its “virtual ink” version, with type that actually rubs off on your fingers when you swipe the screen.

Facebook to Mimic Newspaper

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg said people miss the newspapers they cancelled years ago, so he’s changing the social site’s interface to be more “Victorian.”

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