(2004-03-07) -- Radio shock jock Howard Stern today demanded that his syndication company take him off the air immediately, fine him heavily and fire him. The announcement comes as recent headlines about Mr. Stern have increased the ratings for his radio show.

"If Infinity Broadcasting pulls my show nationwide," said Mr. Stern, "I predict that my audience will increase exponentially. It's crucial that people think I'm hip and controversial again. That's what makes them tune in. Therefore, I demand to be fired."

Mr. Stern followed his announcement with a string of expletives and detailed descriptions of deviant sexual activity, which he said "prove that I'm the hippest middle-aged radio guy around."

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