(2003-06-17) -- Sen. John Kerry has reinvented his stodgy persona, and political insiders say the new "slapstick" Kerry is a shoo-in for the nomination.
After Slate writer William Saletan praised Sen. Kerry's more relaxed attitude at an Iowa political reception, the presidential candidate "raised the bar" at a fundraising dinner last night.
First, the Senator stumbled up the stairs of the dais, briefly disappearing behind a table. Then he popped up wearing fake nose-and-mustache glasses with a faux arrow that appeared to pierce his cranium and emerge from the other side.
Pausing before his speech to sip some water, the Massachusetts Democrat pretended not to notice as much of the fluid dribbled onto his shirt front. A wave of guffaws rolled across the audience of big donors, who had come to see if this man could be the party's standard bearer.
When Sen. Kerry brushed the water stain with his hand, his necktie rolled up like a window shade. The Vietnam veteran shook his head violently causing his pendulous dewlap to quiver as he made the sloppy-jowl sound employed by many animated cartoon characters and large drooling dogs.
"The aloof, imperious John Kerry didn't stand a chance," said an unnamed Democrat strategist, "But this new candidate may have what it takes to cinch the nomination."