First!

Thank goodness!
Now I can go on my vacation to France secure in the knowledge that all's right with the world.

I have seldom read such a tragic "What might have been..."

Hey!, can someone tell me where they are giving away those free vacuum cleaners to clean up the dust after 9-11. I figure with all of the negative pressure coming out of D.C. they wouldn't need them anyway...

The real story (as the Dems think it should have happened):

In 2001, the Brits passed intelligence to Bush that predicted the attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon, but Bush disregarded it due to a single memo from a former ambassador. The ambassador (who was not a trained CIA operative, but was married to one) had been sent to Afghanistan by Dick Cheney to investigate the British intel.

After intense investigation (which took the form of drinking tea with several Al-Quaeda spokesmen and asking them if the allegations were true), the ambassador dutifully reported back that Al-Quaeda had denied the existence of the plot.

Bush and Cheney concluded that, although the British intel warned of a serious attack that could cost several thousand lives, foreign intel (even from an ally) had no place being used in US decision making unless it could be substantiated by our own intelligence services. The Bush administration declined to make the British intel available to the American public because it came from a foreign source and was therefore unreliable.

After the 9/11 attack, Bush was impeached by a coalition of Democratic Congressmen who were outraged that he had ignored credible intelligence (credible, because subsequent events had proved it to be correct) and was therefore responsible for 3000 deaths.

So Bushy went from doing not enough to doing too much. He needs to find a good balance for protecting our security. I remember when we were all yelling at him about how he could have let that happen because of his bad intelligence then we realized he just arranged for it to happen so he could have an oil war. And also it's a religious crusade. And John Ashcroft is taking away our rights because he thinks that's what Jesus wants him to do. Now Bush is lying about more intelligence about them buying uranium from Niger. I will bet that it was a Nigerian e-mail sent to Saddam that got that one started. And meanwhile the morale of the troops is falling faster then the stock market. Most of you Republicans won't understand a word of what I am saying and that is why it is past time to impeach Bush and have a Democrat. Gray Davis may be available soon. We democrats have been saying Bush was doing everything wrong ever since he was appointed Presiudent when the Supreme Court and Foxnews stole the election and now finally some of the newspapers and tv shows are admitting it.
I hope you all are happy.

And I'm sorry Cassandra usually I don't understand a thing you say but today I do and the stuff you are writing up there just sounds a little too crackpot to me.

How come President Bush used 9/11 in his state of the Union address?

Even though what he said was technically correct; that "British intelligence have recently learned of a plot to destroy the WTC", he should have knew that the CIA debunked that report and warned him against using it in his address!

Impeach the president now!

/End Satire

We need to increase our CIA budget by 100%. That way for every CIA operative out in the field interrogating possible terrorists we can have another CIA person standing behind the detainee to see if they are crossing their fingers behind their back.

Dark days indeed,
with burning bodies by the wayside,
and grim men led to grimmer fate
never more to see kith nor kin,

Days as dark as night,
have been before in centuries past
and may well be in darker days to come

It is better to die Free
than live as a slave under the shadow

But Bambi:

Jesus IS talking to John Ashcroft...I know this because Jesus only talks to Republicans.

Cassandra you aren't helping your case any. Loony toons called, they want there craziness back!

Then Hilary clicked her heels together three times and saud, "There's no place like the White House. There's no place like the White House."

Some Random Guy

It is Saud with a capital ssS!

Bambi:

re: Loony toons called...

How did they know your number???

Mr. Ott, that was gravely funny.

Imagine this scenario:

Aug 4, 2001: President Bush has announced that intel has uncovered a plot involving Al-Quaeda to hijack planes for suicide missions in the US. As a result, we are taking affirmative action by invading the sovereign country of Afganistan where we believe the masterminds of these plans to reside. The Taliban government of Afganistan is protecting, and a part of, this organization. The need to pre-emptively strike this organization, by going to war in a dirt/opium farm of a country, is necessary.

Democrats would say what?
-the intel is weak, how can you justify war
-suicide hijackings? how absurd -- don't we screen for weapons
-what is the real reason, oil? the twins out of poppy seeds?
-we have never had a really significant foreign based terrorist attack in the US (that other world center bombing showed the building is too strong for a simple airline crash to destroy);
-this is just another war mongering president trying to show he isn't as stupid as the press knows he is

etc.

We could only go into Iraq b/c of 9/11; we could never have acted pre-emptively before 9/11. And you can never take credit for stopping an attack that didn't happen. It is a no win for Bush and everyone of either party after him.

Side note (not intended to raise this issue again): funding from poppy crops in Afganistan is only possible b/c of the war on drugs.

I tried a similar method at work once after getting blasted for an unsuccessful project by someone unrelated to the execution of the work involved. I rejected doing anything, anything at all, without getting proper approval from all interested parties, including all their objections, in advance. This lasted about 2 weeks before my manager quietly took me aside on Friday morning, asked me who was causing the delays, and voila - on Monday they were gone and I no longer had to put up with their obstruction. So to the obstructionist, revisionist, know-nothing Dems, try thinking before you protest; the payback can be more than you want.

During British Prime Minister Tony Blair's speech to a joint session of Congress, a television camera appeared to catch Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio), the anti-war presidential candidate, snoozing away!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...... Typical dozacrats!

hahah, i saw that too Mr. Sandman. I was waiting for something to mention that.

Betcha that the CIA weblog will prevent anything like this from ever happening again Betcha that the CIA weblog will prevent anything like this from ever happening again

For your amusement and future reference, here's what Bush has said about bin Laden at various points in time, depending on how he was trying to spin things:

"The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him."
- G.W. Bush, 9/13/01

"I want justice...There's an old poster out West, as I recall, that said, 'Wanted: Dead or Alive,'"
- G.W. Bush, 9/17/01, UPI

In the aftermath of the attacks last Sept. 11 on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, which the United States says were masterminded by bin Laden, Bush constantly described the Saudi-born militant as an incarnation of evil and said he was wanted "dead or alive."

"I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority."
- G.W. Bush, 3/13/02

"I am truly not that concerned about him."
- G.W. Bush, repsonding to a question about bin Laden's whereabouts,
3/13/02 (The New American, 4/8/02)

Yes, we all know that Jesus only talks to Republicans, Rev. Jim Jones, and David Koresh...

Need ARC, How many times did we here Serial Liar Bubba say, "We will catch the people responsible and make them pay!"?

More than a few, thew only difference, the search stopped there, with his lying words. He wouldn't even take Bin Laden when he was served up on a silver platter!

Clinton, ------WORST president ever! Even worse than Carter, and that's, hard to top!

GUYS..GALS...FELLOW SCRAPPLERS..SCOTT..

ITS STILL TO SOON AFTER ...FOR THIS NYC RESIDENT
EASY ON THE TOWER SATIRE

If Jesus is whispering in your ear, maybe you should cut down on those prescription drugs you're using. That might also deprive you of hallucinations such as the glory of killing innocent people as long as they're un-christian enough.

True conservatives are as concerned as liberal Democrats about the damage being done to our democracy and international credibility as a result of manipulated intelligence, preemptive war policy and arrogant unilateralism.

NYCR
This satire may have referenced 'the towers' but the blunt of the story seems to be directed at the consequences

Err... Umm... Really it is directed at Bilge Clinton.

Scott, where is the reference to the mounds of gratitude that gwb gave to wjc for the CYA funding increase?

Before Homer J gets the chance --
Mmmmmmmm .......... Mounds!

Good nightshirt...

Apparently I left something out of my previous post - sorry - it seemed so obvious that I thought there was no reason to beat the reader over the head with it. The post SHOULD have read:

But Bambi:

Jesus IS talking to John Ashcroft...I know this because Jesus only talks to Republicans.

Posted by Cassandra at July 21, 2003 12:40 PM

/SARCASM

Sheesh- now I know what Bambi feels like...

Hey frenchfry, Don't look now, the Eiffel is on fire!

"An American tourist in London found himself needing to take a leak
something terrible. After a long search he just couldn't find any public
bathroom to relieve himself. So he went down one of the side streets to take
care of business. Just as he was unzipping, a London police officer showed
up. "Look here, old chap, what are you doing?" the officer asked. "I'm
sorry," the American replied, but I really gotta take a leak." "You can't do
that here," the officer told him. "Look, follow me."

The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty
flowers, and manicured hedges. "Here," said the policeman, "whiz away." The
American tourist shrugged, turned, unzipped, and started relieving himself
on the flowers. "Ahhh," he said in relief. Then turning toward the officer,
he said, "This is very nice of you. Is this British courtesy?" "No,"
retorted the policeman. "It's the French Embassy."

Need A Regime Change: OBL is nowhere near as much of a threat as he was. We are still looking for him, and sometimes the best way to do that is to act like you don't give a darn. They get lazy, stop hiding so well, and wham! The whole world lands on 'em.

True Conservative: Unilateral? How exactly is a 49-country coalition unilateral? Yeah, I know, very few contributed materially. But they voiced public support.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, French fried Tower!

Ken,

Look at the definition of Unilateral in the dictionary, and you'll see why

Main Entry: uni?lat?er?al
Pronunciation: "y¸-ni-'la-t&-r&l;, -'la-tr&l;
Function: adjective
Date: 1802
1 a : done or undertaken by one person or party
b : without the French's or German's blessing

Well, at least if the revisionists have their way :)

Great satire