ScrappleFace: Sosa Called to Help NASA with Cork Insulation

Sosa Called to Help NASA with Cork Insulation
by Scott Ott

(2003-06-30) -- The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) has contacted Chicago Cubs slugger Sammy Sosa to help solve a persistent problem with cork insulation on the Mars Rover rocket.

"We did an internet search to find someone with expertise in the properties of cork," said an unnamed NASA spokesman. "Sammy Sosa kept popping up."

Mr. Sosa, however, said he doesn't know anything about cork, so he won't be able to help.

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Who's Number One!!

Posted by: Phil Winsor at June 30, 2003 09:12 AM

Just tell him the cork insulation is just being used for practice.

Posted by: Trench at June 30, 2003 09:38 AM

And it will delight the fans of the program :)

Long Suffering Cubbies Fan a.k.a. LPB

Posted by: logicpenaltybox at June 30, 2003 09:55 AM

Contacting Sosa was a gamble, so maybe NASA should have contacted Pete Rose first!

Posted by: Univited Guest at June 30, 2003 10:44 AM

Maybe if Sosa keeps taking steroids he can just fling the Mars Rover into outer space.

Posted by: rainmaker at June 30, 2003 12:57 PM

Have you seen Shamu lately? He's definitely slimmed down, off the 'flinstones' :) So that option is out.

LPB

Posted by: logicpenaltybox at June 30, 2003 01:30 PM

"Beesaball bin berry berry good to me."

Once again, scandal tarnishes the "Great American Pass-time."

The only baseball games I watch are Little League. It is the only level of the game where the kids still have fun playing the game.

Posted by: some random guy at June 30, 2003 03:04 PM

I wil be gla to hel wit de spac progra any way I can. If da wil wai a wile, I wil probububule be sittin on de ben caus I can seem to hit de bal any mor.

Posted by: Sammy Sosa at June 30, 2003 03:51 PM

The folks at Chicago Sun Times were selling "Sammy Sosa Uncorked" t-shirts. Looks as if they no longer are. I knew I shoulda got one!

Posted by: Univited Guest at June 30, 2003 04:09 PM

SRG:

I play in an adult baseball league (think tall little league). Unlike kids baseball, where the age limits are "ceilings," our age limits are floors. So we have 18+, 28+, 38+ and 48+ leagues. Since I prefer to play Saturdays (one big advantage, games at one ballpark instead of one of 8 or so parks all over the metro area), I have to play my 33 year old butt in an 18+ league. But we play baseball for fun (in fact, we pay to play). And I am unaware of any birth certificate scandals, since in our league, you would only benefit by pretending to be OLDER than you really are.

Posted by: KJ at June 30, 2003 05:35 PM

They called Sosa? Why didn't they call us? We used to have the market covered, with our cork gaskets on engines. Every fisherman had a cork bobber, then 'WHAM', along came rubber and plastic.

If not for corking wine bottles, we would be out of business! Now this opportunity comes along from NASA, and who do they call? A Multi-Millionaire Ball player.

Well Sosa's gonna pay for this one. Some dark night, all us cork's will unite, and 'WHAM' plug all of his orifices while he is asleep!

MUHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

Posted by: 'Corky' Serin-Done at June 30, 2003 07:18 PM

As a spokesman for the disenfranchised Western Corked Bat, I must say that I am saddened - yes, and deeply, deeply disappointed by the direction this story seems to be taking.

NO BATS FOR INSULATION!
NASA = HITLER
SAVE THE CORKED BAT

Posted by: Cassandra at July 1, 2003 03:49 PM

*** I KNEW this was coming! Cassandra's Save the Bat Campaign. Please appease her. PLEEEEZ. Don't want to force her to visit the CA vineyards to check out the "bottle stoppers" again. (:~}). I say they're already an abused species--"invented" with the use of umbrella halves, a staple gun, and sticks.

Posted by: LFCat in Colorado at July 1, 2003 05:30 PM

.."they" in the above post meaning the Corked Bats...

Posted by: LFCat in Colorado at July 1, 2003 05:31 PM

i saw it on ebay the other day

Posted by: little ricky at November 26, 2003 10:05 PM