ScrappleFace500.gif
Top Headlines...
:: Bush Now Proposes to 'Public-ize' Social Security
:: Annan Would 'Like to Break' UN Scandal Story
:: Rumsfeld: 'You Go to War with the Senate You Have'
:: Google Brings 'Thrill of Public Library' to Your Desktop
:: MoveOn.org Sues Artist Over Bush Monkey Face
:: NARAL Outraged at Peterson Death Sentence
:: Post-Kerik Withdrawal Syndrome May Cause Paralysis
:: Bush Nominates Nanny to Replace Kerik
:: Energy Nominee Excited to Become Big Oil Croney
:: Bush: Fight High Coffee Prices by Drilling in ANWR

June 23, 2003
Clarence Thomas Gets 'Super Vote' On Supreme Court
by Scott Ott

(2003-06-23) -- In a little-noticed addendum to today's Supreme Court ruling allowing universities to use racial factors in some admissions, Justice Clarence Thomas has been granted "super vote" powers on the court.

In a rules change designed to compensate for the court's historical discrimination against blacks, Justice Thomas' vote will now be worth 1.5 votes. The change is expected to have little impact on the current court, but it may affect some future cases if the court has more black jurists.

Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, writing for the majority, said, "There's no way we can make up for the Dred Scott decision, but we all feel better now that Clarence gets extra credit for his vote."

Donate | | Comments (17) | More Satire | Printer-Friendly |
Buy "Axis of Weasels," the first book by Scott Ott. $12.95 + S&H;
Email this entry to: Your email address:
Message (optional):
Skip to Comments Form

oh holy cross

Posted by: Sean at June 23, 2003 01:58 PM

LOL, wouldn't that be ironic...

Posted by: b-psycho at June 23, 2003 02:13 PM

No, you got it wron. The supreme court ruled that a numeric value can not be asigned to races for admission standards. However, it is ok to give minority members greater credit than non minority members when weighing their value. So, Clarence Thomas's vote counts more, but it is illegal to say how much more. A subjective, "whatever feels right" value is ok, but a subjective one is not.

Posted by: The Pissed off Robert :680003219012"the Borkster" Bork at June 23, 2003 03:00 PM

Borkster & U@B LFC in Colorado Droning on and on about Nothing


If I follow your interpretation of this ruling, my opinion can count more than "U2B LFC in Colorodo Droning on and On about Nothing" because I am a pantless minority, but I can not assign a numerical value by saying that my dribble is 15% more worthwhile than hers.

Posted by: The Pantless Matt Goober Shivers on his moped somewhere in The Rockies looking for a Cat at June 23, 2003 03:16 PM

I think that was supposed to be "drivvle."

And don't think you can discriminate against my status as an Irish-Scottish-German-English-Italian-American!

PaddyMickHeinieWops Rule!

Posted by: some random guy at June 23, 2003 03:32 PM

I would just like to know when the box labeled "character" will replace the box labeled "race" on the application form...

Posted by: tom at June 23, 2003 04:43 PM

lets see...I'm fat,over 60,female...oh yah does homely count???? like we are racking up count here or rather getting an edge on the rest of the human race.

Posted by: the old old lady at June 23, 2003 04:47 PM

pantless perv Goober--a.k.a--p-o'd Robert Borkster.--you--the bearer of an eternal grudge...oh I'm so sad...NOT!)

I didn't post a thing here, hateful, pre-pube moron twit. SO...atypical of you...you posted as someone else and then responded to yourself ( as though it were someone else. What a retard!!)

b.t.w. DoesSome Random Guy know that you are thePRIME suspect for hijacking his name with some sick-o (true to form for you) post on another topic?....just wonderin'.....It read VERY much like other posts referrencing you from WEEKS ago. If I was a betting woman---I'd be RICH!!

As always,child: TALK TO THE FURRY [ ]!!

I've got your number,idiot! You are SOOO busted and you just can't handle it!~ Next time you go out on your moped...remember DON'T wear your helmet & ride REAL fast--

b.t.w.: how ya coming along with your bed wetting problem? I hear you asked your mommy for Cinderalla pull up diapers this time.

Are you acting out because your daddy didn't breast feed you?

**********Some Random Guy---expect "dribble" from this name thieving,uneducated bed wetter!

Posted by: LFCat in Colorado at June 23, 2003 11:23 PM

apologies to "p-o'd Robert Borkster". My bad--- I falsely accused you of being Matt Goober Idiot Shivers--who incessantly posts as many different people.(often copping names of already existing posters). He however is unfunny and unintelligble ( symptomatic of being highly unintelligent!)

After re-reading your post it's very clear to me that Idiot boy (m.g.s)isn't at all capable of writing such a coherent post. Never has...never will be without intervention of excessive shock therapy and his GED. His sophomore year of high school is proving to have been the best 8 years of his life!

Posted by: LFCat in Colorado at June 24, 2003 12:38 AM

Justice Thomas will never get an extra vote because everyone knows that conservatives are not really black.

[sarcasm]Where is Harry Belafonte when we need him? [\sarcasm]

Posted by: Cassandra at June 24, 2003 08:55 AM

Supervote?

Like Superfly?

Posted by: some random guy at June 24, 2003 12:12 PM

Great, so this means that Scalia gets 3 votes now.

[sarcasm] I'd swear I wish I was born black, cause they get it so easy these days. Black people have it so good these days and they just keep taking, don't they? It must be the welfare money they are using to purchace all this political influence.[\sarcasm]

Posted by: Joe monger at June 24, 2003 02:08 PM

quoted from http://www.workjoke.com/projoke15.htm:

Boss, to four of his employees: "I'm really sorry, but I'm going to have to let one of you go."

Black employee: "I'm a protected minority."

Female employee: "And I'm a woman."

Oldest employee: "Fire me, buster, and I'll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it'll make your head spin."

They all turn to look at the helpless young, white, male employee, who thinks a moment, then responds: "I think I might be gay..."

Posted by: Ken Stein at June 25, 2003 04:04 PM

Something in the comment posting script is messing up HTML tags. The whole quote in the above post was supposed to be in italic.

Posted by: Ken Stein at June 25, 2003 04:07 PM

In a related story, a university west of the Mississippi announced today that it will hire more conservative professors to promote diversity of thought across the campus.

However, not everyone agrees with the universityís decision. Closeted conservative professor John Lemmon stated "now my associates in academia will believe I was granted tenure based on my political leanings and not on my meritsî.

Additionally, the university has stated to further expand its diversity efforts amongst its students, applicants with SAT scores below 800 will be given an additional 20 points on their application. Cletus, the slack jawed yokel and most recent applicant to benefit from the new policy was quoted as saying ìdem all are nu-in but a buncha egg-heeeads don know nu-in ëbout livin in da real world cuz all dey do is stuck deir heads in books.î

Posted by: Blog Shmog at June 26, 2003 01:33 PM

Joe has it wrong - Scalia will only get 1/3 of a vote because he's a white, male, conservative.

Posted by: Cassandra at June 26, 2003 07:10 PM

Oh sure. Pick on Tony "the Hook" Scalia just because he's Italian. Why don't you guys just go make some "Sopranos" jokes?

Posted by: some random guy at June 27, 2003 12:53 PM