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June 11, 2003
Abuser-Priests Force Changes in Catholic Offering Ritual
by Scott Ott

(2003-06-11) -- The Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Louisville today announced changes to the way it collects offering money from parishioners.

This comes just after news that it made a $25.7 million settlement deal with 243 people who say they were sexually molested by 39 priests and other church employees during the past six decades.

The Louisville offering ritual will include new cards that allow the parishioner to "target" his giving. Here is the text of the new card:

(Check one of the following) Please use my offering to...
__ Feed, clothe and provide shelter for the needy.
__ Replenish our $48 million cash reserve fund, which is now only $22.3 million.
__ Provide a Taser stun gun to a child in our archdiocese for self-protection.
__ I still don't want to know what you're doing with all the money.

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First. And that is all that I am going to say for now!

Posted by: Old Sailor at June 11, 2003 08:02 AM

I think we should impose taxation on all religions. The United States guarantees freedom of religion not free religion. The other benefit is that the churches and church leaders would come under a lot of government control. It looks like they need control as they exhibit no self control. In the South we have these full square block churches in nearly every town. They have life style centers where you can spend all of your time (and money). These places are no longer churches. We can debate what to call them, but not churches.

Posted by: Eric the Red at June 11, 2003 08:02 AM

First to post as the incontinent and incontrovertably married to Matt Goober Shivers Lynch Family Cat

Posted by: Lynch Family Cat at June 11, 2003 08:08 AM

Eric, I disagree totally. The power to tax is the power to destroy and or regulate. Our country was founded on the principle of freedom of religion and it is codified in our constitution. The so called separation of church and state that the libs like to imagine is there really is a poke in the eye of the US Government because it says that Congress shall NOT make any law governing religion or the free exercise thereof. This means no regulation, no taxes.

Posted by: Old Sailor at June 11, 2003 08:41 AM

Taxation would not be regulating the exercise of religion, just the flow of money.
If nothing else, impose property taxes on church-held lands and buildings.

Posted by: some random guy at June 11, 2003 08:50 AM

Unfortunatley taxing church property would put a huge burdon on the poorest churches.

Posted by: Frodo at June 11, 2003 10:08 AM

Also, churches were supposed to operate like charities (and some people do tithe and their money actually goes towards missions and other charitable causes).

Posted by: Cassandra at June 11, 2003 10:21 AM

So some will close. Whoopty-doo.

Posted by: some random guy at June 11, 2003 10:33 AM

I tried to use a stun gun on Matt Goobere Shivers when he came after me and it had little effect. Sure, his hair stood on end and smoke came out of his ears, but his eyes were still clouded over by the look of lust (and the smell of burnttoast filled the room). Sure, he eventually won me over and we did have a 2 month long romance, but I had to break up with him when he asked me to use the stun gun in the bedroom. He is one wierd guy. So, Frenchman, LFC, Emmanuel Kant, you can have Mr Shivers. Just beware.

Anyone interested in learning more about me, click on my name for a fun game.

Posted by: Tinkie Winky, The free and Available for Dating Teletubbie at June 11, 2003 10:54 AM

I think there is some merit in taxing religions, I'm especially talking about the abuse that the tax-free status has engendered. Leave the church itself and a reasonable amount of land around it tax-free, but tax all chuch owned business and other property not directly associated with church services. I'm thinking of the Baker crowd, the Cathloc wineries, etc. In many cases these are competing with private firms.

Posted by: rabidfox at June 11, 2003 11:27 AM

I think there is some merit in taxing religions, I'm especially talking about the abuse that the tax-free status has engendered. Leave the church itself and a reasonable amount of land around it tax-free, but tax all chuch owned business and other property not directly associated with church services. I'm thinking of the Baker crowd, the Cathloc wineries, etc. In many cases these are competing with private firms.

Posted by: rabidfox at June 11, 2003 11:27 AM

At my church on Sunday- the assistant Pastor said that the average American spends over $1,000 dollars gambling a year while the average American give only $75 to church. Sounds like there should be some regulation of 'bingo night'!!

About taxation....
Many churches account for every dollar spent- I would 'like' to see that for the federal government! If we cut out inefficiency and PORK- the deficit would be cut in half- yesterday!! If I don't make as much money this year compared to last year- I cut my spending!! It is simple math!!

H.o.D.

Posted by: hrdlordi at June 11, 2003 11:51 PM

I already pay taxes to the government. I don't want a % of my charitable donations to my church going into the Washington troughs, too.

Posted by: Pooke at June 12, 2003 09:57 AM

Should Roman Catholicism be called the "religion of priestly chastity"?

Posted by: Andjam at June 13, 2003 07:36 AM

Woody Allan and Roman Polanski, both applied to replace the 'Hit-and-Run' Bishop, but were turned down.

An unnamed spokesperson for the Vatican stated, "They almost made it, because of their 'like' of underage girls, but neither had a preference for small boys, so they just wouldn't, 'fit in'! We are hoping to hear from Michael Jackson though!"

Posted by: Susan Serin-Done, 'SORRY!' at June 20, 2003 06:23 PM

The guy who suggests taxing churches misses the whole point. He suggests this would enable the government to take control over religion which is just what the first amendment and the doctrine of Separation of Church and State are designed to prevent. If you read Thomas Jefferson's letter, from which this phrase originated, you will realize the current use of the term has nothing to do with its intended meaning. One would think it obvious that the first amendment is designed to protect our freedom of religion and limit the power of government. In fact, the entire Bill of Rights (first ten amendments) is designed primarily to limit the power of government.

Posted by: historian at June 25, 2003 12:47 PM

qats kint use tasers cuz of thar paws

Posted by: Mangey Olde Qat at June 30, 2003 11:39 AM