Right place, right time.

FMM

Gee, I can't wait to hear Senator Byrd's oratory on this one.

The rings can be obtained rather cheaply. Finding someone to eat all the excess Cracker Jacks will be the difficult part.

Let's hope they find effective ways of using these powers, as opposed to creating a gopher moat.

Who are Zan, Jayna, and Gleek?

Editor's Note: This should clear things up...if you can read it.

Ken Stein,
I had to look it up, but this may answer your questions. The monkey is probably smarter than the people that write that junk.

http://members.aol.com/aviafree/JLI-ZanJaynaFAQ.htm

Is the monkey a Suwalesi Crested Macaque? Can he write Shakespeare or D&D; scenarios? Inquiring minds...

Frooodddddooooo...Goooooooollllllluuuuuummmmmm! We found the RINGS!!!!!!!! John Ashcroft has them and will auction off the box of Cracker Jack to the highest bidder on ebay.

if i remember correctly, the special rings came our of our frosted flakes...humm...or was that the flakes that got frosted...it's been so long ago.

Of course these special powers will be color coded ... Wonder Twin Powers Activate; form of a red slurpie .. form of a red breasted rooster ... will signify that we are at the highest terror alert calling for the maximum wonder twin powers.

Congressional Democrats are expected to resist the Ashcroft request because of concerns that CIA Director George Tenet might demand use of Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth and in using it on himself (he has taken himself into custody you know) would report the intelligence data on pre-war Iraq was accurate.

This story reminds me of the time, Bill and Hillary, (after watching an episode of 'The Simpsons'), went to Congress and asked that they become 'Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl', after their idols, Bart and Lisa!

We want the monkey's too. It is part of a package deal. Just take some chimps from the DC zoo and die them blue.

First to post as Lynch Family Cat

Matt Goober and I have exactly the same rings. We will exchange them at a ceremony officiated by Barney Frank and Harvey Firestein. As usual my Goober Guy will dress as Lynch Family Cat.

We're blissful & giddy.

At a time like this WMD's don't matter as much to me.

NO ONE but Frenchie gets to kiss the Broom!

We'll send invitations out to all of you soon.

Frenchman, frenchman, how many times do I have to tell you that Tinky Winky has my heart. The Lynch Family Cat, Tinky Winky, and myself are all part of a big love triangle. I would say more, but the details are far too sordid. So, frenchy, you have to go wed the big blue chimp.

The British parliament and the US Congress are to investigate possible abuse of intelligence information in the run-up to the war in Iraq.

Is it more serious to lie about a bl*w J*b or about Weapons of Mass destruction ?

Hey, who let Gleek post again? (Look up)

Today's episode finds the Wonder Twins in the Hall of Justice.

[voice from large screen, which shows a picture of the Twin Towers]

"Wonder Twins, I have another job for you. We must fight terrorism and keep America safe."

"Remember your mission:

[echo effect] To Fight injustice. To Right that which is Wrong. And to serve all mankind!"

ZanKerry: Gee Whiz, Jayna, that was awful! Gosh - we'd better hurry - the terrorists could attack again at any moment!
[the Twins touch rings]

Both: "WonderTwin powers: Activate!"

Zan: "Shape of a VietNam Vet!" (turns into a soldier, tosses his medals over a wall, and starts sucking up to Hanoi)

Jayna: "Shape of a Democrat!" (collapses into a amorphous whining blob of protoplasm)

Zan: "The fight against terrorism has been tragically mishandled by President Bush. I have no suggestions on how to fight terrorists, so I will carp and criticize the President's actions. This will confuse the terrorists - they won't be able to understand why Americans can't maintain a united front in the face of the enemy".

Jayna: (quivering) "Right! But we should DO something! But no profiling - the FBI and CIA must investigate every person in the US as if they had an equal chance of being a terrorist. Even little old ladies.

And even though we all voted to support the use of force in Iraq, we should now oppose the war.

Finally, although we demanded that the President keep us safe after 9/11, we now demand that he evaluate any intelligence in such a way that it gives the benefit of the doubt to terrorists and the nations that support them. This means that even if UNMOVIX reported Hussein had well over a ton of chemical/nerve agents in 1998 and he was the only national leader to openly approve the 9/11 attack and call for more attacks on Americans, Bush should assume that Hussein destroyed all those nasty weapons and that he would NEVER give them to Al-Quaeda."

Gleek: "Bush is Hitler, no blood for oil, not in our names"

Zan: "You know, when you put it that way Jayna, I guess we don't have to actually DO anything. But we should remain on the alert in case President Bush lands on an aircraft carrier."

Jayna: Exactly - the best way to contribute is to criticize everything he does. After all, we're not on the hook for making sure America is safe - HE is!

[fading voice with echo effect]

And so ends our episode of The WonderTwins in the HALLLLLLLS of JUSSSSSSTICE....

Frenchy: I keep telling you that only a sorry wimp lies about a BJ. A real man brags about it. Real men lie about WMD's as a way to get sorry wimps to support the real man's kicking the hell out of a tyrant. The only other way to get sorry wimps to support it would have been to say "It's for the children", but at the time we had no idea Saddam had children's prisons and that Uday was forcibly boinking 12 year-olds.

FRENCH TROOPS ARRIVE AND DEPART CONGO

BUNIA, Congo - Hundreds of people cheered Friday as French troops arrived in northeastern Congo to prepare the way for a multinational force intended to stabilize a region wracked by tribal fighting. The mood of the crowd quickly shifted from celebration to puzzlement when the French troops threw down their weapons and ran away.

People from the town of Bunia had gathered outside the headquarters of the U.N. mission to Congo, and began shouting "liberated, liberated," as several dozen French troops showed up. Thinking the crowd was shouting 'You are hated, you are hated', French troops began to back away from the crowd; when a car back fired the troops threw down their weapons and ran away screaming 'je me rends ... je me rends '

In Paris, French President Chric defended the actions of his soldiers. "This has been the most successful French military operation since Austerlitz", stated Chric.

President Chric also announced plans to honor the troops by having a parade down the Champs Elysee past the and Arc de Triomph. The specific date for the celebration is contingent on finding where the soldiers are hiding. Any one with information as to the where abouts of the French Army is asked to call the French MinistËre de la DÈfense at 01.42.19.30.11.

Cassie

That was magnificent and so truthful that it hurt!! Plus, it came from the 'Halls of Justice', which is so appropriate for the liberal thinker who 'knows' they are brilliant!! Ex- 'slick willy' clinton who can't even keep his pants on!!

PS what has two thumbs and likes felatio??

H.o.D.

Good heavens, I'm afraid to ask...but OK, I'll bite. (no pun intended)

Rats - I just saw a mistake:

it should have been

(collapses into an amorphous whining blob of protoplasm)

As someone once said (hilariously) "preview, THEN post!"

This joke(punchline) is courtesy of 'dork' Dan- my older brother!! Obviously if you know the 'Wonder Twins' you remember Fonzie- so (it is better if you are of the masculine gender) you give two thumbs up which point to yourself and say "HEEEEEEEEEEEEY" (all cool like the Fonz)!!!

Be careful what you wish for.....

Wasn't there some type of 'superhero that had a 'thing ring'????

H.o.D.

Oh man... :)Please smack your older brother for me!

In an effort to frighten away Frenchman, two of the gov't attorneys with their new Wonder Twin Power grants will transform into the form of water and the shape of a bar of soap.

That sounds like the old joke ...

Q: How do you get a French man into a bath tub?

A: Throw in a penny.

Q: How do you get him out?

A: Throw in soap.

Growing disent among the Hall of Justice heroes was noted today when Batman and Robin openly complained of racism after Aquaboy performed similar underwater heroics in the Iraq War as his father Aquaman did in the Gulf War. The Cape Crusaders have been increasing vocal about such racial expectations. "Why is it that only Superman, Wonder Woman and the two of us fly? Why is the Hall of Justice consistently and generationally keeping the Aquas out of the skies?" Robin stated.

Reverend Sharpton, appearing with the Dynamic Duo was quoted as saying, "The years of this kind of segregation have got to end. With might we will get Aqua his right. We will unite to bring about this flight. We are not asking for frills for our man with the gills. He is able to extend this fable. The (Super) Man just needs to get with the plan."

The Reverend later led a victory march with the Dynamic Duo in the lead shouting, "No Friendly Sky for Aqua, No (Hall of) Justice."

The Aqua family declined to attend the march choosing instead to go for a swim. Superman was unavailable for comment. Wonderwoman who is in intense negotiation with CIA Director George Tenet for a lease of her Lasso of Truth was also unvailable for comment.

>>>Gee, I can't wait to hear Senator Byrd's oratory on this one.

Posted by: snaqwells on June 5, 2003 08:11 PM

Byrd's speech is 1 and 1/2 pages long, so that means, with his long pauses and shaking, should last about,----- 3 hours.

Good Saturday Morning.......

"Ashcroft Asks Congress for Wonder Twin Powers"..

Instead of the ì Wonder - Super Twinsî, the Justice Department should consider giving more power to ìWonder Womanî Ö.

Can Osama Bin Laden and his Bandits fight an ì infidel - blondeî American woman ???

EDITOR and Mike S.: thanks for the link. I guess I should have gone Googling before posting...

[rant]
Frenchman: ENOUGH ALREADY! WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PERVERSIONS!!! IT'S SICK! GO POST THAT [junk] AT WWW.DEMOCRATICUNDERGROUND.COM. AND ENOUGH OF POSTING THE SAME DISGUSTING COMMENT ON EVERY SINGLE PAGE!
[/rant]

Sorry, just had to get that out of my system.

Cassandra: Great post! (referring to post # 18)

Ken:

Hmmm...I've never seen that tag before ...([rant], [/rant])

Too funny - I could use that one.

THe [rant] tag? It's very useful, although some browsers don't support it. In this case, use this instead (replace all [s and ]s with the normal less-than & greater-than):
[font color=red][b][i][u][font size=80]place rant here[/font][/u][/i][/b][/font]

I've also seen [sarcasm] and [/sarcasm], but that would have the same result as [strike] and [/strike], since the first character is the same.

Well, I hope you're not supporting violent children TV programing now. This is how we have kids who grow up to be gun violence criminals. Lots of studies have been done on this. They are becoming desensitized to violence because of TV and Movies like Saving Private Ryan and it should be stopped. Thank you.

TOW,
Do you consider the armed forces to be sorry wimps?
Inquiring minds and all that...

Hey Bambi:

Shouldn't you worry more about whether our kids are being desensitized to sex with all the torrid programming? Gee whiz - I'm afraid they'll get so sick of all the sex on TV that they won't be having any premarital sex while they're still underage and can enjoy it...