When I personally orchestrated our victory over the North Vietnamese in what I like to call their Reversal of Fortune, we knew how to conduct a military campaign. My forthcoming autobiography, Rehearsal of Fortune, documents these and other personal achievements, most notably my early success in targeting wealthy heiresses for fun, profit, and political support.

First, ------to SAY, first, that is!

"Once in 'Nam', (that's what us soldiers in Viet Nam called it), after I killed 13 of the enemy, (with my bare hands), I swear I saw Martin Sheen cruising down the river with some other soldiers! I 'think' I saw Dennis Hopper too!"

"After I am elected President, while I WON'T be asking that I be addressed as JFK-44, I WILL be hiring several 18 to 19 year old interns, (both female AND male, to be P.C.), as I WILL be keeping up that JFK/'Bubba' Clinton tradition!"

In the words of Keanu Reeves:(although I'm a female and NOT a VietKerry Veteran)

--------Whoa! Satire with a STING!
(leaning more toward sarcasm...something hard to avoid when writing about the slimey 8 year reign of shame.

***off topic*****

Since all the demoncrat pres. candidates have 4 eyes, 4 ears, 2 mouths, 2 noses,etc....Can't the republicans have 2 Candidates along side one another, too?

Naw----it's an exclusive "demoncrat" trademark.

Clinton Aided Terrorist Syria

Just how much is Bill Clinton part of the blame-America-first left? Enough that he betrayed pro-American Syrians who sought to oust the reviled, terroristic, drug-dealing Assad regime.In his new book "The High Cost of Peace," author Yossef Bodansky writes that dozens of Sunni officers in mid-1999 wanted to overthrow Assad and bring Damascus into the modern world with economic development and a representative government. They asked the U.S. for help.The U.S. Embassy requested a list of the coup leaders and details of the plan. "Naively, the Syrians complied," Bodansky writes.Then "the Clinton administration decided to save Assad." It squealed, and a purge resulted in Syria."Clinton betrayed an intended coup that was supposed to be pro-American against a regime that was on the United States' own terrorism and drug-trafficking lists," the author summarizes.

poster note:
Clinton is a disgrace to the human race and so his fr*ggin wife

Executive Order 12947 of January 23, 1995,

TERRORISTS WHO THREATEN TO DISRUPT THE MIDDLE EAST PEACE PROCESS.thereto the following persons in appropriate alphabetical order:Usama bin Muhammad bin Awad bin Ladin a.k.a. Usama bin Ladin

GEE BILL YOU THINK YOU COULD GET TO THIS TODAY
YOU WORTHLESS #$%^@%&@&@#$%^#^%@$%

JP,
I agree. Wholeheartedly. What websites do you have for this information? I want to see it with my own eyes as I know people who think a president who drops his pants is not as morally reprehensible as a president who drops bombs. Their words, not mine.

Well here I am sticking my neck out again to try to educate you people. Mr Mike Moore, who produced the Academy Award winning gun violence Documentary "Bolling for Colimbine" is trying to produce one now showing that Bushy and Bin Laden were in cahoots! That's right, Mr Moore has done his homework and is ready to tell all. He's trying, but right wing wackos like Mel Gibsion and Walt Disney are standing in his way. Disney is the latest to pull the rug out from under the talented director, withdrawing there promised financial support barely one day after promising it. I expect you champions of free speech will want to join me in boycotting Disney. That's why I've linked Disney to my name today. So you can boycott them by not clicking on my name. The movie will be called Farenhite 451, and this is a movie that needs to be made!

Bambina wrote:

"That's right, Mr Moore has done his homework

WRONG again Bamboozled!! To quote the FICTITIOUS Movie Faker: " don't have all the answers but I sure have alot of questions"...THAT makes for a factual flopumentary, eh??

"Farenhite 451,"....WRONG again, Doofus! It's supposed to be Farenheit 911--but then WHO expects it will even get out of the can. No one one wants to touch the WMD ( weapon of mass deception.

From MSN..regarding the Moore Mouth's next FICTITIOUS documentary ( a contradiction of terms, f.y.i., Bamboozled)
---"So who's coming to the rescue?..............

------Miramax will provide something they call "bridge financing." According to the Hollywood industry paper, Miramax will outsource with

France-based

The Wild Bunch to sell distribution."...

Notice: once again...the French show their true colors. ( mostly YELLOW)

No doubt Michael Moore would make a great citizen of France ( or N. Korea)--however the French have hesitated to invite him for fear of him perpetrating a famine.

Furthermore from MSN: " Moore's unflattering Bush biopic will capitalize on timing when it's released to coincide with Bush's re-election campaign in 2004."

Michael Moore---angry, Bush hating, vindictive, FAKE can plan on falling in the hole he's attempting to dig for the President!

You watch---You wait----You'll see!!! ABSOLUTE!!

As for boycotting Disney, Bamboozled??....You must be in a quandary. They have a gay day...or use to at least and now you still want to boycott them?....decisions, decisions....

Since we haven't found Bin Laden or Sadaam Hussein yet, that means they must never have existed!

Exactally!

And then, when Baghdad disappeared, the US forces, in an attempt to simulate a victory, had to use a VR world, that just looked super-real. That's how it really went.

American liars!!!

Gee, How can anyone disagree? Look at the success Clinton had with N. Korea. And he didn't have to start an all out war to battle terrorism, he just needed to fire off a few cruise missles to get them to stop thier terrorist acts. It would have worked too if George W. hadn't "stolen" the election (with more votes than Clinton had, btw).

What this country needs is someone who leads by polling data, focus groups and scandal dodges rather than doing what's right. Vote for Hillary in '04. She was the one who was running the country anyway.

Ever been to Michael Moore's website. He brags about the increase in popularity of his movie and book since his "Shame on you Mr. President" speech at the Oscars (for which he got booed and jerked off the stage). Boy, that really cements your credibility. Michael Moore is a disgusting, fat pig who has abused his right to free speech. It's just too bad that the Dimocrats are soo desperate for a Bush "cover up" story to make Clinton look not quite so awful that the soak his crap up, hook, line, & stinker.

GGrrrrrr!

Bambi dude! (babe?) who's your connection? I gotta score somma whatever your doin.

Stoner, I think it's a combination of crack, cocaine, nicotine, speed, acid, and a dash of shroom. Try it out sometime! Maybe you'll become a stupid, bamboozled liberal as well!

***Hey!...those of you who are pleased Fake-umentarist(and Mental Case) Moore has been turned down by Mel Gibsons Co. and Disney...

THANKS for the link to Disney, Bambi...AND the idea----

Its easy to boycott and complain...but why not take the time to contact (Gibson's) ICON productions Co. and Disney to thank them for their NON support for the planned Bush bashing Fake-umentary.

Bamboozled was kind enough to allow us to click on his name to link to Disney's site.
I can't find a site for ICON.

If anyone finds direct contact info ( ph/e-mail/postal address) maybe you could post/link it here for others who want it.

If you're a fan of the Fake-umentarist, Moore... this post obviously does not concern you.

Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They
would have 5 years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world.

Osama found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from the litter, and removed his siblings, which gave him all the milk.

After 5 years, they came up with the biggest, meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were 5 " thick and nobody could get near it.

When the day came for the dog fight, Bush showed up with a strange looking animal. It was a 9 foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for Bush because there was no way that this dog could possibly last 10 seconds with the Afghanistani dog.

When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of its cage, and slowly waddled over toward Osama's dog. Osama's dog snarled and leaped out of its cage and charged the American Dachshund---but when it got close enough to bite,
the Dachshund opened its mouth and consumed Osama's dog in one bite. There was nothing left of his dog at all.

Osama came up to Bush, shaking his head in disbelief, "We don't understand how this could
have happened. We had our best people working for 5 years with the Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves."

"That's nothing," said Bush. "We had Michael Jackson's plastic surgeons working for 5 years to make that alligator look like a weenie dog."

shoot-------score---------WIN!

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!!!!!!

Dascshunds rule. The wussiest miniature dachshund in the world is more than a match for Osama, Saddam, and the Rottweilers they rode in on.

Maybe we should have just unleashed the entire Weiner Dog population of the US after 9/11.

A Perfect Match----Weiners vs. WEENIES

Who let the Dogs out?!

Bravo, WLTDO. Nice job!

Clinton is a disgrace to the human race and so his fr*ggin wife
Hmmm "fr*ggin wife"
"fr*ggin wife"
NAUSEA ATTACK! Mental Image forming, mind reeling, stomach contracting, shrinkage proceeding, darkness descending....
THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS! THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS!
Darkness lifting, stomach relaxing, mind clearing... shrinkage persisting - dang, hope it's not permanent....

'sup? Okay High I'm posting here for the first time. This site is totally cool but you all should have a little mercy on Bambi, 'kay? And definetely stop knocking on my parents.
And check this: I get to report on youth for this web site.
My first colummn deals with a couple issues, including a certain person I won't name but whose initials are Jenna Bush who gets "the business" as we say at Oxford, or the "smack down" as we say at Stanford.

Bambi,

Shouldn't your name read Bambi Stoked by Hymington?

As for gun control, anytime you and your socialist friends wish to impose survival of the fittest on us, I am ready.

Visit Boston? (mentioned in a previous post)I have already seen a hole in the ground.

Anyone remember the third movie in the Omen series?

Doesn't the parallel of the devil becoming a Senator and then President seem a little spooky given the current democratic political situation right now?

Hillary IS the anti-christ!

****ILIA----"Hillary is the A/Christ"....

orrrr....is she that who*e of Babylon?

The majority of people will LIKE the A/Christ at first--a charmer....who likes her?---charm?....

I had to CHOKE on EVER calling her "1st Lady"...IF I ever did.

During Clintons reign of shame---Slick was asked to throw out the first pitch at a New York Yankees game....----Well---Hillary went flying across the plate!!???....

The coach had to clarify..."... I said the first PITCH, Mr. Clinton.

rimshot!

LFC

No, Bill was the Who*e of Babylon (and Hillary's "pitch").

1st "Lady"? That's a stretch. Compare her to Laura or Barbara Bush or even Nancy Reagan. We're talking differences in levels of class by degrees of magnitude.

In her mind, she was nothing but "Co-President" (CoPutus in SS parlance). This time, she wants the office all to herself.

I am truely afraid that she will run either in '04 or '08 and get the Democratic nomination and, on a bad day, who knows... She wasn't supposed to run for NY Senator either.

I'm not saying drive a stake through her heart or anything but...

No, you couldn't drive a stake through her heart... wouldn't work, ILIA. Duh. Only a silver bullet. Get it straight ;-)

"Gun Control Means Hitting What You Aim At"
--Bumper sticker seen on mini-van containing cute 30-something mom, three kids, and lots of groceries.
The window on the hatch also had an NRA Life Member sticker on it.

I've read many disparaging remarks about Hillary and Bill. As a nautical type, I can safely say that they are lower than whale [dung] at the bottom of the sea. To me, this ranks them below pimps, drug dealers, mafia dons, and the IRS.

Yo Ho! Matey!

Yeah, the Billster did such a great job with al Queada. Wow, blowing up an empty camp with cruise missiles scared the crap out of those guys.
Had them shaking so bad they all decided to retire from a life of murder and go back to their goat herds and multi-million dollar construction companies (Bin Laden Const.)

Welcome ADMIRAL!

and as a welcome gift you can expect a visit from THE EDITOR . He'll present you with a couple of **'s on your post somewhere between the words "whale & at the bottom".

(** why???)

-----Though our description of the king and queen of shame can't be argued. (:~})
**********************

**Please Note: ScrappleFace readers are intelligent enough to express themselves without obscenities. So please take that extra moment to think of a civil synonym.

ILIA---it does get confusing, doesn't it. President Hillary Clinton...but Bill was nominated...SOOO all this arguing about Goredhead really winning in 00!..>We can just use that same argument about the reign of shame. Bill really won ( UGH!) But Hill took over the Whitehouse...but then the other side could argue back and say: "NO---she took over the COUNTRY"....

I think the Mattel "had it figured out when"....( from a post at the "Mrs. Clorox" forum)
----
"Must be 21 or older to purchase the Clinton Doll...Although Wm Jefferson prefer you weren't much older. The Clinton doll's cannot be purchased separately. The string that operates Wm. Jefferson is only available with the Hillary doll.

ILIA---I enjoy your posts...you have some clever things to say!(:~})

As for (broom)Hill(da) running in 04 or 08. I PRAY her true colors will keep "running"...She won't stand a chance then---- or will be institutionalized between now and then after breaking down from trying to live such a LIE.

People just HAVE to have THEIR blinders removed so they can see behind the mask! ( YIKES!!--is that you Jason?)

re: **Please Note: ScrappleFace readers are intelligent enough to express themselves without obscenities. So please take that extra moment to think of a civil synonym.

And we're a darn polite bunch, too when we're not villifying the French government.

****it's open season on the &$%^#(# French Dictato...err..Mafi..err...Government!. They opened it up themselves...well actually...they had help with removing the "covers"...funny thing...it happened a few miles away from ChIRAQ....hmmmmm

SPECIAL REPORT

Former President Bill Clinton will speak at the JFK Memorial Library on May 28th. The topic will be the Clinton legacy and central themes related to Presidents Kennedy and Clinton: the role of the U.S. in the world, domestic issues concerning the advancement of rights and opportunities for all Americans, the importance of public service, and the vital role of interns in reducing the stress of occupying the Executive Office. In a strangely appropriate coincidence, Senator Edward Kennedy (D. Chappaquiddick) will introduce the former President.

Clinton is also expected to discuss the value of misdirection in the Oval Office. "Apparently I'm not the only President who has elevated interns to the level of executive support staff", the former President stated. "But I took it one step further: by characterizing my impeachment hearing as a prudish attack on my private sex life, I managed to avoid the real issue: lying under oath in a civil proceeding (a technicality which later got me disbarred, but in no way reflected on my suitability to lead the Executive Branch, which carries the responsibility of upholding and enforcing the laws of the United States)".

The speech, expected to receive wide media coverage, will focus on the similarities between the Kennedy and Clinton administrations and de-emphasize minor differences such as impeachment hearings and the like.

Click on my name for article link

UN SECRETARY GENERAL PRAISES THE CLINTON ADMINISTRATION

UN Secretary General Kofi Annan praised former President Bill Clinton today in a speech to the UN Commission on Human Rights.

"I had a wonderful working relationship with former President Clinton, he respected the institution of the UN and always worked through us before using force. I only wish his successor would head the example set by my friend." stated Annan.

Annan is referring to President Clinton's successful efforts at getting UN resolutions sanctioning the use of force in Haiti in 1994, Bosnia in 1995, Iraq in 1998 and Serbia in 1999.

Delegates from Cuba, France and Syria voiced their approval for Annan's comments.

"President Clinton, he respected the institution of the UN and always worked through us before using force. "

HAAHAHAHAHAHAH

Former President Bill Clinton will speak at the JFK Memorial Library on May 28th

*****Due to the nature of the "Legacy" Extreme Security measures will be enforced:

Must be at least 21 years of age to attend.

Females under the age of 30 must be accompanied by a well armed guardian. ( preferably their father or husband)

Former President Bill Clinton will speak at the JFK Memorial Library on May 28th

*****Due to the nature of the "Legacy" Extreme Security measures will be enforced:

Must be at least 21 years of age to attend.

Females under the age of 30 must be accompanied by a well armed guardian. ( preferably their father or husband)

**** sorry-- Hiccups (dbl. post)***** hate the Meow Mix from WalMart!..always does this to me.

Actually, did he ever get UN approval for use of force on young women in hotel rooms? Would be an interesting vote. My guess would be a close one in Bubba's favor.
In my world, Mr Clinton and a few like minded individuals have gone to the Philippines to hunt down the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF).

I don't know why you guys & gals are so upset about Hillary running for President. I would LOVE to have one of those "Run Hillary, RUN" bumper stickers. For the front bumper of course.

Greyhawk:

re: did he ever get UN approval for use of force on young women in hotel rooms?

(hysterical laughter) You obviously don't understand: as far as the UN and the media concerned, women have no human rights, so there's no news to report. As ABC/Peter Lemmings..errr.Jennings report on the aftermath of deposing Saddam, "women in Iraq had to endure rape, torture, abduction, and beatings under Saddam Husseign, but under his secular government they had more rights than women do in many Arab nations".

What's a little rape, torture, beating, or abduction as long as you have rights?

Cass, we can see your womanly pride showing through. I think we should go back to the system of whatever the man of the house does is right, and he can beat and cheat on you whenever he wants.

Of course I'm joking... mostly. ;-)

FORMER JFK AIDE SURPRISED BY ATTENTION

The woman who blew the lid off JFK's affair with White House intern Mimi Beardsley Fahnestock said she has no second thoughts about what she did but is amazed at the ``firestorm'' the 40-year-old gossip ignited.

``I didn't anticipate it, which was probably dumb on my part,'' former White House aide Barbara Gamarekian told the Track, ``But that's the whole point of oral history...''

Asked for comment, Frodo stated 'the women who blew the lid off? That's the point of oral history? I wish the stuff I make up was as funny!'

In related news, the Inside track has learned that an oral history of the Clinton White House is running nightly in Boston's notorious Combat Zone.

Greetings: My wife of age 77 has recently lost almost a hundred pounds. She is obsessed with clothes like Barbara Bush wears. I kid her that these are discards from Barabara.
She looks 20 years younger and has a very good taste in clothes.

Husband, Lambert

Yeah we really need another Clinton......NOT. He had the shot to have him arrested in 96 but he refused to do it. Soooo if you are looking to blame someone, look to your own Democratic failures.