Gadzooks! I'm first. I even beat the Sulawesi crested macaques.
Waxmans ancestors.

"Researchers in Britain" or "ScrappleFace Editorial Board"?

Shakespeare on Tom Daschle:

But man, proud man,
Drest in a little brief authority,
Most ignorant of what he ís most assured,
His glassy essence, like an angry ape,
Plays such fantastic tricks before high heaven
As make the angels weep.

(Editor's note: Shakespeare, unlike John Kerry, was not a VietNam vet)

So for the price of just two Sulawesi crested macaques I can double my traffic?

the common name is the cheese eating surrender monkey.

Mike S.:

Re: I even beat the Sulawesi crested macaques. Waxmans ancestors.

I think there is irrefutable evidence to disprove the theory that Homo Nonlucidus Waxmanensis evolved from the Sulawesi crested macaque. In the course of evolution, an organism progresses from the primitive to a more advanced state - anything else would be devolution.

The brain case of the Sulawesi crested macaque is much too large to have devolved to the size of Mr. Waxman's cranial cavity in such a short time period. Such a rapid shrinkage would defy all we know about the speed at which such physiological changes take place.

And it is really quite insulting to the macaque.

Another possible candidate for his ancestry may be the Probocis Monkey, also from Indonesia.

.....But due to their KNOWN behavior of "throwing stuff" (and not washing their hands)... the said monkeys will NOT be allowed to do the "iLoo" porta potty posting!
****************************

Cassandra: you never cease to amaze me! Your intelligence leaves me feeling a bit like one of the Beverly Hillbillies!...weee doggies I reckon I need to go take a leap into the cement pond before I cook up some vittles for all my critters..
*************
I perceive the Honorable Scott Ott is saying NOOOO to pop-ups!.....life is good!!...although I wholeheartedly want to see Scrapple have full $upport!

Since I'm the one who discovered the Sphinx nose in Waxman's posession I should get some sort of kickback from the Dems who have sold it to Sothebys for fundraising purposes. I will likely have to sue them for it but when I get my $$ I'm contributing a significant portion to Scrappleface since the Honorable Sir Ott & Scrapple face offered significant clues in my investigation. I bow to your Mr. Ott

I think that you are all missing the point. Networks have been using monkeys, chimps, and the occasional great ape to write, produce, and direct netwrok programming for years. So, little wonder that they have diversified their media conglomerate to include the internet. Just beware of what will happen with the porn cites

.......Unlike Sen (political Harry) Kerry-----The SPHINX was NOT a Vietnam Vet.

hmmm, I can think of another group of people who think that someone who's last name is Waxman is a descendant of apes... Or was that pigs? Or both?

LPB

Cat:

After your brilliant Sphinx Nostril detective work, how can you say that? I'm not worthy....

Wasn't it a cat's detective work that got it into trouble? Just curious ;)

LPB

Cassandra! I'm more like the resident goofball ( or furball(:~})...You de SMAWT one.

I could NOT have been successful in my detective without my fellow ScrappleFacers!

here--hold my paw and we'll sing one of your favorites: Kum By Yah (:~})
***********

LPB---clever!! and cats know clever)...NICE play on words.

I've been specially equipped with a built in "curiosity patriot" that deflects any incoming "killer scuds" that may attempt to react to my "investigative" nature...(:~})...

And here I thought that while patriots are back in vogue, them arrows are much more accurate ;)

BTW, I have seen a cat humbled only during a bath... Not sure where that leads, so I'll stop right there.

LPB

Ya know, I'm going to get all dressed up tonight on account of I'm so important that I get e-mail from Terry McAuliffe. Which makes me realize that you don't even have to be as smart as your great-great-great grandmother monkey to type on a computer Keyboard. I'm referring to myself, of course. Not the esteemed Mr McA.
And hey! I long for the day I hit 3K!!!!
(whimper whimper...)

Hey, I resemble that remark!

Ooook, oook, eeek, eeek!

yaksun

Cassandra,
You are right; I stand corrected.
I tend to let my disgust of that low born, gutter scum, two faced lying, maggot lovin', and waste of oxygen (waxman) get in the way of my logic.
Thank you.
I formally apologize to the monkeys, and apes that may be offended by my previous comment.

Follow Up and Correction: It has now been revealed that the researchers shut the website down when they received a threatening letter from a law firm representing various Hollywood interests. The lawsuit alleged trademark and copyright violations, due to the fact that Hollywood has a long-standing agreement to be the ONLY entity represented by, and run by "red a**ed baboons and similar entities". "We feel we were bullied into terminating a fine experiment", said one researcher, "but we didn't have the financial clout to take on the entire Planet".

Actually, I think if you put six Sulawesi crested macaques in a cage with a computer, you get Windows XP...

Heh. New twist on old monkey business. No less than expected.

(And I'd settle for 3000 so far this year)

Experimenting with cute innocent fuzzy little monkey!!!!
All of God's creatures should be treated with kindness and respect!

You should be slowly skinned alive and dipped in salt!
I bet you eat KFC!!!!

Scott-O The BBC took down the story. Now I can't read how monkeys begat monkeys begat Congressman begat ... :-(! sniff

Editor's Note: The link has been repaired. Thanks for the tip.

Hoo boy. Someone up there mentioned evolution, but the thread didn't turn into another Evolution vs. Creationism spat. Yippee.

Remember this one? "...Regurgitated monkey meat, chopped up baby parakeet..."

How can a civilized society allow eight year olds to sing such awful songs? We the greater animals (humans, et al) demand justice!!!

And speaking of evolution do you know that Darwin renounced his theory on his death bed.

(Just wanted to irritate Daisy.)

Darwin recanted on his death bed? I thought his last words were "see, I told you it was serious", or was that Spike Milligan?

I like Lamarchian Developement of species.

Well, maybe I just like cutting the tails off mice.

Lecturers and students at the University of Plymouth gave the macaques -- Elmo, Gum, Heather, Holly, Mistletoe and Rowan -- a PC with wireless internet access and the Moveable Type weblog application. At first the apes typed little but the letter "s," however, once their site traffic got up to 400 visitors per day, they diversified with the letters "a, j, l and m."

D Class university. If the experiment had been done at Oxford or Cambridge the monkeys would have written a passable Stephen King E Book in half the time and made a profit.

In such a time as this it is not meet
That every nice simian should write his comment.
I an itching ear!
You know that you are Scott Ott that speak this,
Or, by the gods, this post were else your last.
Urge me no more, I shall forget myself;
Have mind upon your blog, tempt me no further.
Alas, even the simians want not to write me,
I am a lonely man,whose own death has brought me much confinement..

msllsalmjaljmsalmjsaljmsalmsajlsjmasjalsjaslajslajmslamjslamjslamjslamsmamsjamlsjmalsmjalmjsalmjslamjslmajslajmsalmjslmjmlamljaslsjmslsaljmaljmslmasjmlajsmlajslajmslalmjmlsmjlaslmamlsjalsmalm!

"To be Or not to be.." Infinite Monkey

"Cry havoc and so unleash the monkeys."

I heard that Stanford has a similar project goings to see if monkeys can produce the works of Mark Twain. No Twain reproduced yet, but the left coast monkeys did write a story about the notorious leaping and jumping of the wax-monkey-man of Calaveras County.

While filming an upcoming episode of the TV show "Jackass" at the headquarters of the Democrat National Party, an MTV camera crew apparently took a wrong turn while performing a stunt outside of Terry McCaulife's office and stumbled on a gaggle of Sulawesi crested macaques chained to their computers in a dark room typing feverishly to complete the Democrat's latest talking points.

The MTV crew noticed a "Memorandum to the Honorable Senator Byrd (D-KKK)" in the "to be filed" box of one of the apes that contained the exact content of the Senator's speech given on the senate floor in which he ripped the Commander in Chief for landing on the aircraft carrier and acting like a leader of the U.S. military.

PETA announced that it intends to protest the Democrats treatment of the macaques and demand that they be given ten minute breaks every hour, an hour off for lunch, time and a half for over time, and be prohibited from interning for Bill Clinton. Terry McCaulife announced that the Democrats are an equal opportunity employer without regard to race, color, creed or species and all were treated with the upmost respect. McCaulife added in passing that one of the senior macaques was better qualified to sit as a judge on the U.S. Circuit Court than Miguel Estrada because it came from a poverty stricken family, did not learn English as its native language, was a victim of incest and was forced to seek asylum in the U.S. because of the persecution practiced on macaques in Sulawesi.

I'd like them all to be moved to the Ninth Circus Court in California. They'd be an improvement.

"IT'S NO BOTHER, REALLY
File this one under Now It Can
Be Revealed. Do you remem-
ber Michael Newdow? He's the
California atheist who last year
sued in behalf of his daughter,
and won a highly controversial
ruling from the Ninth US Circuit
Court of Appeals that the
Pledge of Allegiance is uncon-
stitutional because it contains
the words "under God." Well,
last week his daughter's school
district appealed the ruling ...
and revealed in the process
that the child unhesitatingly re-
cites the pledge each day, right
along with her classmates."
[The Christian Science Monitor, May 7 2003]

Oops... I seem to have gone off topic on that one. I wonder what the verdict would have been, if the monkeys (oh no! now I'm being speciesist!) had been in charge...

did you know John Kerry is a vietnam vet?

I wish they would put E Pluribus Unum back on the money.
Or monkey...

or something...

Difficult to think. Been listening to LOTS of bagpipes at close range all day.

I can still hear "phantom drones." Kind of like tinnitus but with in a chord.

Much better than the droning that comes out of the Democratic side of the House.

That's the secret to Instapundit. Glenn has hundreds of monkeys stashed away in his home. No wonder he needs a broadband connection.

I tried the same experiment and I got "A Frenchman". The experiment is now out of control and they keep posting to Scrappleface. They are now in a rut, constantly pecking out "WMD???" over and over again.

What will I do?
What will I do?

I wonder if we'll be seeing this headline anytime soon:

"UN Monkeys to Write New Iraqi Constitution"

Final exam - Scientific Method

Part 1 - Compare and contrast:

a) An infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of computers over an infinite amount of time will produce ...

b) 6 monkeys with 1 computer over 1 month will produce ...

Part 2 - Define "Junk Science."

Maybe not Monkeys but the random poem generator is close. Here's a poem it made about ScrappleFace:

ScrappleFace Editor Stays On the Q2
Resignation
was founded.
This one renegade, , cowboy....
Mr. Raines He feels Performance Pressure EU spokesman said
he feels Performance
Pressure The same legal protections as
a grotto for 45 seconds before
pulling the Progress
Travels All the
Senator is so some clown can
produce the role of issues. Mr.

Deep, huh? Funny maybe but if you thought that was good, you're a democrat. Sorry.

The Monkeys can't write? Day Dream Believer was groovy.Davey Jones was the greatest.

Greyhawk: Send that to Poets (that's debatable) Against The War. It's more coherent than some of the antiwarmongering tripe available there.