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April 29, 2003
Education Cuts Threaten Tax-Funded Football

(2003-04-29) -- Academics around the nation began a wave of protests against belt-tightening in state and federal education budgets, saying the funding cuts would threaten America's most valuable intellectual pursuit -- high school football.

Thousands of government-funded football franchises nationwide could shut down, shattering the dreams of parents who now live vicariously through the athletic accomplishments of their children.

"Every citizen in America has an obligation to maintain tax-funded sports programs," said an unnamed spokesman for the National Education Association. "If high school football is cut, men who would never have otherwise been hired to teach will lose their jobs. These are America's intellectual needy. And they coach teams of boys who often couldn't get into college if it weren't for their gridiron performance."

With tears in his eyes, the NEA spokesman painted a tragic picture of small towns without tax-funded "State Champ" billboards, and forlorn young people who would never again shake government-issue pom-poms and holler, "We got spirit. Yes we do. We got spirit. How 'bout you?"

by Scott Ott | Donate | | Comments (36) | More Satire | Printer-Friendly
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This would be hysterical except that it is too true!!! You go Scott!

Posted by: Old Sailor at April 29, 2003 08:38 AM

It's odd to think that the liberals have been calling for an end to organized competitive sports for years, and here you are doing it too..

The budget problems are not due to institutions which have existed in high schools for decades, but rather with the excessive social programs, waste, and top-heavy management in school districts..

Please don't fall into the libs' traps like this - it's embarassing.

Posted by: Nero at April 29, 2003 09:54 AM

todays scchools do not rpepare the youth of america for adulthood. Rather than teaching teens those subjects they need to become independent adults, they teach philophical ideology. Most school districts have cut drivers training, while at the same time states complain that young drivers are at ever increasing risks because they don't know how to drive. rather then reinstitutiong drivers training, they want to change the age at which people get their licenses. Schools stoped teaching life studies, such as cleaning, cooking, and financial resposnibility such as balancing a checkbook or paying bills, or filing taxes, but you can learn all about african cultures of the 16th century. Let's teach our children how to be responsible adults today, rather than teach them how blacks were sold into slavery (by other blacks-they forget to mention). While history has a valued place in our schools, as des math, english, plitics, social studies, science, and even the arts, we still need to teach our children how to survive. Parents teaching their children to drive is a bad idea, if not just for the fact that most adults can't drive either.

Posted by: Darth Chef at April 29, 2003 10:06 AM

scott, wat is rong with futbol?...if i kant play i woant get into kolege...

Posted by: jock at April 29, 2003 10:26 AM

Why are the public schools going into the toilet?

LACK OF PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT!

As we've gone into an economic state where both parents are working, parents have become less involved with their kids. Thus, they have become more dependent on the schools for teaching them not just reading, writing, math, science, history, languages, etc. But now teachers are supposed to teach them to be moral, ethical people with a well developed sense of self-worth.

Listen carefully! It is not an educator's job to teach your kids how to be a good person. It is yours and yours alone.

When I was teaching high school science, I had very little time for teaching. I was too busy keeping them from flirting and fighting, checking for signs of drug use, physical or emotional abuse, nuturing their fragile egos, promoting diversity, and maintaining classroom discipline while not being permitted to discipline anyone.

Parents: teach your kids that cheating is bad, teach them to at least PRETEND to respect their elders, teach them that they are supposed to keep quiet in class, make them do their homework, teach them to be moral people, teach them to respect others. This is what the are supposed to learn at home.
In my class, they were supposed to learn biology and chemistry. That's it. I was happy to be an example to show them learning is fun, but I'm NOT their surrogate parent. I'll teach them science, you teach them to be a good person.

As far as football goes, what the heck happened to the booster club? Their fund-raisers and the gate revenue was how we funded sports.
Teams held car washes and bake sales, etc. to raise money.

I guess the Lefties will be happy to see sports go since it just leads to negative self-images on the part of the people who didn't make the team. Besides, sports are elitist, and discriminate against women, and burn rainforests, and kill baby seals, and pollute the environment, and....

Let's face it, unless it involves a Frisbee or a hackey-sack, the Lefties don't like it.

Enough ranting (for now)

Posted by: some random guy at April 29, 2003 11:45 AM

>men who would never have otherwise been hired to teach will lose their jobs.

Dead on! Woo Hoo!

If it weren't for knuckle-headed sports priorities, there would be far more history teaching and far less video-snoozing going on. Why were all those students protesting GWII? Their education failed them. They play sports pretty well though.

Posted by: Jim Beckley at April 29, 2003 12:25 PM

Sports are necessary for involvement. Kids need to play them and contrary to current thinking, their has to be a loser. This everyone wins crap just ruins it for the kids (they see right through it anyway).
We need to audit the state/federal governments and cut out all the social crap spending and stop selling our kids short. Give them the resources to learn.
I also agree with the teacher that he parents HAVE to teach their kids to be moral law abiding and respectful people. I applaud the states that punish the parents for the kids misdeads (and ensures punishment at home). Kids don't care and know that they can always sue if the get and "F" or feel emotional distress from whatever.

We do need to reform the emphasis that we put on sports. These guys get away with anything as long as they go out and win. I watched these dough-head football players at my college have people do all their work for them because they couldn't/wouldn't do it themselves. Allowing them to do that sells them short. The all feel like they will make it to the pros when the chances are very very slim (would you like fries with that!). My last point is that I work with a really nice guy who played football for Baylor. He is a big guy (400lbs) and his legs are shot from the game. He has no cartilage in his knees and walks slowly and with a permanent limp. Is it worth it?

ok, I'm off the soapbox

Posted by: Justin at April 29, 2003 12:40 PM

Nero hit it right on the head with the bloat in school administration. Local communities need to take back control of their schools from the federal purse strings, so each community can decide if they want to ante up for extra-curricular activities.

Otherwise, look for more "Europification" in our schools as inexpensive soccer squads take the place of expensive football teams.

Posted by: MarcV at April 29, 2003 12:55 PM

"Listen carefully! It is not an educator's job to teach your kids how to be a good person. It is yours and yours alone."

Yea...er .....well...

Why do I feel that as a responsible parent my first obligation to my children's education would be to not send them to a public school.

I wonder if I will be able to convince my wife to stay at home with the kids instead of sending her of to the factory so she can help me with the daycare costs.

What's wrong here?

Posted by: School sucks at April 29, 2003 12:56 PM

SRG, As a parent of two teenagers in pskools, both in advanced studies, I understand your frustration about the way kids behave when they get to school and can tell you that most parents do care about what their kids are doing when the apron strings are cut and their sitting in the classroom trying to be cool around their peers. Most parents will discipline their kids if they find out they are acting up in school, but some donít. Thatís why skools have detention, suspensions, etc. Itís up to the educators to ensure they are used liberally.

My kids are in the one of the most economically, racially and socially diverse communities in our state. The local high school dropout numbers are equivalent to those who go on to Princeton, Harvard and Yale. The opportunities in our district are abundant for those kids who want to pursue them, and the kids that do are the ones whoís parents sternly discipline them.

Itís easy to blame pskools for failing our kids, and in some ways we should. History and Civics has been replaced with World Cultures and Social Studies. Even the black kids are complaining that by the time they get to 8th grade they have done 12 essays on MLK Jr. and Rosa Parks, but have no idea who the Speaker of the House is, how we got into WWII or anything about the founding of out nation except that George Washington and Thomas Jefferson were slave owners.

But in no way do not want my pskuls teaching morals to my kids. Itís hard enough deprogramming them from the liberal claptrap they receive each day. I would rather sex and driverís ed be taught at home. Same for cooking, shop, etc. prior to say their junior year in high school when they can make a decision on whether or not they want to learn the trade.

As for the athletic programs: If athletic scholarships to colleges were held to the same academic standards as scholastic, how boring would the NFL be? Universities are the NFLís farm league. If football programs started getting cut on a massive basis, you can bet the NFL would find its way to fund it.

And School Sucks, what makes you think stay-at-home parents are any better than working parents? I have been both and can tell you that this crap about working moms being poor mothers is a bunch of s**t. There is no difference; a good parent is a good parent and a bad parent is a bad parent.

Nuff said. Sorry for the long rant.

Posted by: Pooke at April 29, 2003 01:11 PM

Dear Bloggers,

For those of us who do not understand French, and who are interested in what you have to say, please post in English (or the American variety of English).

Merci,
s.r.g.

Posted by: some random guy at April 29, 2003 01:24 PM

What ever happened to the core classed we all had to take? Reading/writing (english), math, science, history and social studies were always what we had to take first. History would touch on all aspects, not just focus on the injustices of the african-american people. It should be a topic, not the entire focus! I had to take government in skool and learned about the branches, the consititution, leaders etc (this was right before Clinton was elected and I realized then, from my class, that we were screwed!).
anyway, I'm trying to say is that we need to teach them what is necessary to survive and be good contributing members of society and thant aint happnin'

Posted by: Justin at April 29, 2003 01:25 PM

In a related story, the NCAA released a statement strongly decrying the termination of tax-funded high school football. "We have used the high schools as a minor-league farm system for years", said Snidely Whiplash, the NCAA's director of involuntary servitude. "If taxpayers don't fund our farm system, we will be forced to dig into our ungodly profits from exploiting college athletics, and that would mean a big blow to our Olympic-like system of kickbacks and graft". He paints a grim picture of the future of America, with college student-athletes actually doing schoolwork and graduating with earned degrees, and coaches earning less than 7 figure salaries.
"What is America coming to?" he said with tears in his eyes.

Posted by: tired of whiners at April 29, 2003 02:03 PM

Hey Pooke:

How can you teach History without teaching morality?

And.....I grew up "like most kids" with both parents working. My hatred of public schools comes from my experience of going to Woodbury High, Woodbury Minnesota. That is the school where you can get in trouble for wearing a "Straight Pride" T'shirt.

Posted by: School Sucks at April 29, 2003 02:20 PM

Two most useful classes in high-school: 9th grade grammar and typing. :)

Posted by: malory at April 29, 2003 03:08 PM

Malory,

My dad encouraged me to take typing. He said it was one class that you were guaranteed to use later in life.

Now that I'm almost in my 40s I find myself saying this more and more: Dad, you were right!

How come the older I get, the smarter he gets?

I played football and soccer in high skool. Sports kept me from becoming a couch potato later in life. It taught me the value of teamwork, the pride that comes from doing my best, and how to deal with adversity and defeat.
(It also helped me get girls, but that's a different story.)
The after school practices also kept me out of trouble. Statistics show that a majority of teen committed crimes take place between 3 and 6 in the afternoon. If your busting your butt on the field, and then at home eating dinner and doing homework, you don't have the time or the energy to go out and get in trouble.

Posted by: some random guy at April 29, 2003 03:53 PM

While many "graduates" (refugees) from the local high school here are now enrolled in Math 095 at the local junior college, I am pleased to report that we have the finest football facility in most of the State. Of course, we had to change the turf and fencing a couple of times to please the head coach (who was caught "huddling" with a married faculty member), but hey, those guys are gods, right?

Right on SRG, Darth. Add art and music to your list of programs cut too.

Up until it became necessary for us to literally save our daughter's life by placing her in a safe, strict, religious private high school two years ago, I would've debated anyone on the merits of the pschool system as being good for America. No more. The inmates now run the asylum. Students shooting and assaulting teachers, students and principals? Unimaginable. The primary responsibility for teaching kids how to behave rests with those have them.

respectfully,

yaksun

Posted by: yaksun at April 29, 2003 04:57 PM

School sucks: I'll probably get nailed for saying this, but I never regretted staying home with my 2 boys. If you are creative, you can get by on one income. After they grew up, I went back to college and now I make almost as much as my husband does. Your kids are your investment in the future. And they'll be choosing your retirement home some day...

SRG: I agree about lack of parental involvement, but there's another issue: ACCOUNTABILITY. Whatever happened to FAILING? It seems to have been run over by the Self-Esteem Bus, or else the Equality of Outcome Police have abolished it. We sent our kids to private or home school when we could. When they were in public school they got A's without trying and the classes were mostly dumbed down.

On curriculum: why do we adhere to the ridiculous notion that everyone will go to college? Some people are very smart but are more oriented to practical subjects they can use. Some enjoy the more abstract subjects you need to get into a competitive university. And there are people in the middle who may go to community college but not beyond. WHAT'S WRONG WITH TRACKING BY INTEREST AND ABILITY? The one-size-fits-all approach doesn't fit anyone very well.

Mallory, Justin: I agree - we do need some core classes like grammar, civics, and economics. Maybe even really basic statistics, so they can see through Peter Jennings when he agonizes over "the largest anti-war demonstrations ever" with "over 10,000 protesters", but doesn't bother to mention what percentage that is of the current US population or relate the same statistics for previous demonstrations.

Posted by: Cassandra at April 29, 2003 08:54 PM

I bet no one could tell I feel strongly about this subject...

Posted by: Cassandra at April 29, 2003 08:56 PM

Please don't fall into the libs' traps like this - it's embarassing.

I disagree. I commend Scott for taking a consistent view.


Far too often, people take a view purely on the basis of what others in their political tribe think, or what those in the opposing tribe think, rather than just reviewing the issue on an independent basis.


e.g. Liberals want to cut state sponsorship of football, therefore I must support state sponsorship of football.

Conservatives should be the first people trying to remove state sponsorship of non-essential education.

Posted by: daryn at April 29, 2003 09:46 PM

Interesting
1. Not sure Mr Ott has taken a definitive stand.
2. Football is of course, a money maker for schools. It helps fund the other sports.
3. Obviously your position on this issue, whoever you may be, is independent of your political party/ideology/persuasion. Good, except for those who think all reps/dems think exactly alike/opposite them. Does not work on this one.
And 4. Of every recent post, this has drawn the most comments. And it's not even in season.
Interesting.

Posted by: Greyhawk at April 30, 2003 12:08 AM

Funny: posters talking about the school system who cannot spell or use correct grammar. I likked muy hiztry clazs, but their wasn't no good englsh clazs.

When's the game coach?

Posted by: CMNF at April 30, 2003 07:34 AM

Cassandra,
I was lucky growing up. My mom worked, but she was a school teacher. When my brother and I got home, so did she.
Keep the art and music programs in school. It fosters creative thinking, and the "Save the Music" commercials on VH-1 are right: studying music does help with math skills, etc.
Besides, what good is halftime without a marching band?
I went to public schools myself. I could stand on my front porch and see my elementary school and my high school. It was a very "Leave it to Beaver" childhood.
Were I a parent in todays world, I would do whatever it took to get my kids either in a traditional program (much like going to school in the '70s or earlier in terms of expected and enforced behavior) or to a private school.

There are three schools in the local area that usually dominate the state in football. One is a traditional school, and the other two are Catholic high schools. Looks like conservative schools have better football teams.

"Fight, fight, Blue and White! Go, Eagles!"

Posted by: some random guy at April 30, 2003 08:46 AM

Maybe my high school was a rarity, but the profit from football ticket sales funded every other sport at school, and provided great opportunities for other fund-rasing. For example, the Math team worked the concessions and got all the profits; the band sold shirts and noisemakers and programs.

Of course, a situation like this would probably only work in a community as obsessed with high school football as mine.

Posted by: MacBeth at April 30, 2003 08:46 AM

High school football may be a money maker for some schools, but I think for the majority it's not. We're spending 2 million on renovating our football stadium which is used for about 8 games a year to a crowd of about 300 including the visitors. I think this is more the norm across the country. Put the sports back in the townships where the participants raise the money to fund it not the tax payers. This will also allow more kids to participate. Once they get to 9th grade in our community the six or so little league teams is narrowed down to one at the high school, everyone else is cut. No more football for you! This exists in all sports. Then they can stop threatening to elliminate the tennis and golf teams when money gets tight. Enough from me, you go brother!

Posted by: scrapplebrother at April 30, 2003 10:03 AM

Here in my state they are thinking of cutting the music and art classes all together to save money. They are enven thinking of cutting the middle school sports programs all because they can't figure out how to raise more money (or wisely spend what they have). There are easy solutions out there, but the politicians are too stupid/bought off to see/hear them.

My mother stayed at home for awhile and worked for awhile when I went to skool and there is a difference. You all would be amazed at the stupid delinquent crap I pulled when she wasn't around (think boom!). That is why my wife and I are forcing ourselves to live on one income so she can stay home with our little boy (and allow me to post at scrappleface while I'm at work :) ).

Cassandra,
You are right that the curriculum is dumbed down to allow these kids to pass. All we are doing is disabling them and ruining their futures. If a little heartache at 15 turns them into a better person I'm all for it.
california is PC'ing all their textbooks turning the "founding fathers" into the "founding persons (or something non-gender), no reference to Mt rushmore (might offend native americans) etc. These kids are stupid because we have confined them to be that way.

Posted by: Justin at April 30, 2003 11:40 AM

I don't have a reference, but in the last few years I've read that 30% or less of school revenue goes to the classroom. Bloated administrations are the norm. In my local school district, every child is bussed to school. Drivers and bus maintenance are more than half of the non-instructional staff. What's wrong with this picture?

Many of my contemporaries who were unsuccessful athletes have been successful in their careeers. That said, I wouldn't trade my HS and college athletic experience for anything. There are guys I haven't seen in 30 years who can pick up our last conversation where it left off, due to cameraderie gained playing together. Hard work, teamwork and dealing with defeat are brilliantly magnified in sports. I think W Churchill said, "On the fields of friendly strife are sown the seeds that on other days and other fields will bear the fruits of victory."

Posted by: Larry at April 30, 2003 11:50 AM

Thanks Bob!

School Sucks - My problem is if you are going to teach morality, let it be in the context of History. Real history, not revisionist. My biggest problem is with the sex-ed classes. I will teach my daughter about contraception and what is an acceptable lifestyle thank you. And the High School newsletter recently ran an editorial urging support of NARAL! More deprogramming taking place in my house.

My point about working moms is that a lot of people believe that this is the reason for the degradation of behavior in public schools. I disagree. In case you canít tell, I worked and sent my older kids go to publik skools and yet, here they are ace students. I am really proud of their academic achievements an you bet I take credit for that because of the way they were brought up. (yay PookenBob). I know that unfortunately, many working moms donít have the quality care for their kids that I was privy to, but hey, your kids are Priority #1 and if you canít trust who is taking care of them, well, quit.

Cassandra hit the nail on the head about getting by on one income. Between taxes, child care, auto and dry cleaning expenses, etc., a $45k salary can pay as little as $12k.

Posted by: Pooke at April 30, 2003 01:46 PM

SRG: Actually, I think you're right about art and music - they're important and shouldn't be cut. When I was in school, art and music weren't every day classes like math, English, and science. We took them as electives. I also took (believe it or not!) Shop. I was the only girl in my class, but I loved it and wouldn't have missed it for the world. But I also understood that core classes came first, which is a distinction that gets lost sometimes.

re: I was lucky growing up. My mom worked, but she was a school teacher. When my brother and I got home, so did she.

I did various things to make money for private school tuition when my kids were younger - babysat, mowed lawns, sold crafts, washed windows, even painted someone's house once. Like your Mom, I made sure I was home when the boys were. With a husband in the military and often away from home, they needed the stability and supervision. As Justin so aptly points out, any child with any gumption will find a way to raise hell if no one is watching.

On the budget front, I think the mission of public schools is expanding exponentially. Instead of aiming to provide a balanced core curriculum, the schools are expected to provide a whole host of additional services: before- and after-care, mainstreaming of physically and mentally handicapped students, constant remedial tutoring for students who shouldn't have been passed to the next level, counseling for kids with emotional problems severe enough that maybe they need to be in a more supportive environment. My daughter in law is becoming a teacher - I admire her and am afraid for her at the same time.

Posted by: Cassandra at April 30, 2003 01:47 PM

I was a high school biology teacher before I became one of the da**ed (I'm an attorney). I really scared some of my future colleagues in an education class in college.
The subject under discussion was how to maintain order in the class (I think I was the only conservative in the room) and everybody was yammering about how negative reinforcement could bruise the students' delicate little egos. I told them I had a radical, but effective solution: Have a mandatory school-wide assembly on the first day of classes. Pick one student at random (some sort of lottery-like choice), take that student out to the middle of the basketball court/stage/whatever and shoot them in the head. As they lay there dead, and the horrified silence goes on, tell the rest of the students that perfect behavior is ecpected and that expectation will be enforced by whatever means necessary.
My class-mates never could tell if I was joking or not, but none of them spoke to me the rest of the sememster.
I'm still trying to figure out if I was joking. I think I was, but I'm not positive.

As a lawyer, I am disgusted to see the law suits that have been filed in connection with grades: suing because Johnny got an F, or because Sally didn't get an A+ (true! check the True Stella Awards). You get the grade you earned. My mother was a teacher for thirty years. She lost track of the times parents would storm in at conferences and say, "Why did you give little (insert name) a (insert bad grade)?"
She would very patiently go through her grading procedure and show them the marks that their precious little drooling idiot earned, and they would still be pissed at her.
I have to give her major respect for never telling them the unvarnished truth, like she wanted to: Johnny/Sally/Whoever got the bad grade because he/she/it is stupid, doesn't pay attention in class, and never does homework.

There are all sorts of reforms in education to increase teacher accountability. What about student accountability?

Posted by: some random guy at April 30, 2003 03:02 PM

Lastly this takes the cake

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,85594,00.html

Posted by: Pooke at April 30, 2003 03:09 PM

Footbal games on Friday night. I remeber them well. They were an importnat part of my high school experience. Followed by a dance with a chance to get into someones pants... oh I regress.

Today, in the Washington DC metro area we need football so there is always a pool of targets to shoot, stab, or otherwise assault, groups of kids ready to spend their parents ahrd earcned cash they got for refreshments to by Coke and Weed, and and ready supply of cars to be broken into. yes, without football these kids will just come to your neighborhood to take out their anger at being victims of society.

Posted by: Darth Chef at April 30, 2003 03:27 PM

Pooke:

You're right - you can raise good kids w/out staying home with them, but it's hard and takes more of a commitment than many people are willing to make. I worked a lot of what some people would call menial jobs so I could work only during school hours. My brother and his wife both work, but their kids are polite and get good grades. And they work split schedules so my brother is home from school when they get home. They are the exception to what I usually observe.

Some random guy: the parental pressure doesn't stop in elementary/jr/senior high: it continues into college. I taught supplemental college algebra at a community college: you have to take attendance and give pop quizzes or you are assumed to be at fault when students fail. Some professors even collect homework to prove students didn't do the necessary work to pass. Unbelievable...

In 8th grade, we had a mother pull her son out of my son's private school because "he always got straight A's in public school" and "he has the right to relax when he gets home instead of having to do homework". She contended that after playing after school sports, he couldn't do his homework AND watch his usual 3-4 hours of TV.

Posted by: Cassandra at April 30, 2003 03:56 PM

The XXVIII Amendment:
The right of Children to be free from involuntary academic servitude, either in the schools or in their homes, shall not be abridged.

Posted by: some random guy at April 30, 2003 04:16 PM

I'm all for student accountability and punishment. Detentions/suspensions were the way when I was in school, why not now? Of course I never understood why they suspended kids for ditching....
Police the teachers for content (by spewing their personal venom on the kids) and conduct. Other than that, stand behind them and support them they are molding our kids.

Posted by: Justin at May 2, 2003 11:17 AM

Education is the most amazing, intricate and farcical operation I've ever encountered. Mind you I work in education (he carefully ducks)... and am one of the rare fiscal and religious conservatives that work for education. All though I will say this... of the best school systems I've worked for in terms of outcomes for students (academic standings and reported disciplinary issues) the leadership are overtly Christian and fiscal conservatives. The crappy school systems I've worked for were run by Clinton-loving soft-headed second rate academics of the inner city.
This is only my personal experience and not the result of a carefully biased doctoral research study.

Posted by: Fr. Guido Sarducci at May 3, 2003 10:48 PM
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