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April 28, 2003
Paleontologist Arrested in Dating Scandal

(2003-04-28) -- A South African paleontologist was arrested today on charges of corrupting the morals of a minor when he was found by police in a parked car near a scenic overlook with an unrelated teenage girl.

The scientist, part of a team which just announced that previously discovered Australopithecus fossils were a million years older than researchers had believed, said his arrest was an innocent mistake.

"When I asked the young lady to take in a movie with me, I estimated her age at 23-to-68 years," said the 45-year-old researcher. "As it turns out, police established her age at 13, give or take a few months. They're very precise and particular about such things."

The mother of the defendant said her son's difficulty with dating has landed him in trouble before.

"His last girlfriend rejected his marriage proposal," she said, "because he gave her what he called a diamond ring. Turns out it was just coal. Then he says to her, 'Well, dear, under the proper conditions and given enough time...'."

by Scott Ott | Donate | | Comments (6) | More Satire | Printer-Friendly
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"His last girlfriend rejected his marriage proposal," she said, "because he gave her what he called a diamond ring. Turns
out it was just coal. Then he says to her, 'Well, dear, under the proper conditions and given enough time...'."


Carbon dating ... get it?

Posted by: daryn at April 28, 2003 05:57 PM

When did Scott Ritter become a South African paleontologist?? Was Slick Willie anywhere around when this happened??? Gary Hart?? Was Ted Kennedy offering to drive home?? So many questions.

Posted by: tired of whiners at April 28, 2003 06:12 PM

Nothing like a good article to get seven posts out of Scott. Pander, pander, pander. You wh**e.

Posted by: Hmmm at April 29, 2003 12:59 AM

He should like the sentence: between 15 and 25 years.

Posted by: some random guy at April 29, 2003 09:04 AM

Paleontologists dating? Hah!

Posted by: Just a Lurker at May 6, 2003 03:56 PM

Who th' &^%^# set the *&^%$# rule for no ^%$#^ obsenities?

Posted by: English Major at May 7, 2003 12:26 PM
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