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March 15, 2003
God Demoted, Replaced by 'World Opinion'

(2003-03-15) -- The general secretary of the National Council of Churches officially demoted God today, and replaced Him with "world opinion."

In a Reuters story, the Rev. Bob Edgar said, "My hope is that on Monday morning the (Bush) administration will realize there are two superpowers in the world: the United States and world opinion. They haven't convinced the world there is a smoking gun."

A spokesman for God said it was not the first time that the Deity had been spurned or ignored by religious leaders.

The Almighty has also pointed out that guns don't smoke until after they're fired, and he suggested finding and eliminating the weapons in Iraq that had not yet been discharged.

by Scott Ott | Donate | | Comments (37) | More Satire | Printer-Friendly
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w00t!

God Himself has commented on this issue, through an oracle in the western edge of Poland. This oracle is reported to have said, "Don't make me flood you again. I am God, and even if you're not religious, do you not swear in my name? Shouldn't that give me some power?"

Posted by: Paul C. Tindall at March 15, 2003 08:53 AM

This comes amid continuous allegations of wide spread corruption at the accounting firm sometimes utilized by God. Cardinals in the Vatican have been seen recently shredding all information relating to the last 1600 years worth of plunder, particularly for the last century amid law suits from angry plundered people.

Posted by: logicpenaltybox at March 15, 2003 10:35 AM

Does that mean God is on our side? Cool!

Posted by: tony at March 15, 2003 11:20 AM

ALLIES TO AXIS OF WORLD OPINION: CHECKMATE

Responding to the loud, flailing demands of World Opinion calling for more Iraqi weapons development, a spokesman for the Allies today offered: "Two words: Drop dead."

"While you were mobilizing appeasement marches, we deployed 300,000 troops, 6 aircraft carriers, and 1000 war planes. While you were blocking any possible U.N. mandate that you insisted we required, we conducted an inch-by-inch satellite survey of Iraq and inserted special forces. While you were recruiting Security Council vetoes, we recruited 70,000 highly motivated Kurdish freedom fighters. While you were celebrating the impasse at the U.N. this week, we moved the 3rd Infantry to its start-position at the Iraqi border."

"Over these recent months, it has been gratitiously demonstrated to the American public that Old Europe, the United Nations, and the Democratic party are, in fact, diametrically opposed to U.S. interests and national security. In short, thanks. We couldn't possibly have planned a more thorough public discrediting of those institutions, and we applaud their demise."

"On Sunday, Mr. Bush, Mr. Blair, and Mr. Anzar will travel to a summit in the Azores, where they will primarily discuss cars and fishing. The conclusion will be an announcement that the current resolution at the U.N. will be withdrawn and that diplomacy has failed. An ultimatum will follow, and the unwatchable, garbled debate which has gone on for six months will be proved inane by a conflict which is successfully concluded within six days."

"Reports of human rights atrocities and seized nightmare weapons will pour out of Iraq for months, to the extent that virtually all critics of the endeavor will subsequently claim to have actually supported it, but were just voicing valid concerns. We will mercilessly use the public record to refute those claims, particularly in 2004, as well as in all future dealings with the Axis Of World Opinion."

"I'd like to end my remarks by being the first to say: 'Neener neener neener'. Thank you."

Posted by: Keith at March 15, 2003 11:35 AM

Drop the NCC a note and tell them that you appreciate the help that they are giving me.
Your Pal
Saddam

news@ncccusa.org

Posted by: Saddam at March 15, 2003 11:54 AM

To consider Rev. Bob a religious leader is to consider france a world power.

That is unless he's affiliated with the church of Bob. In which case, all bets are off.

Oh, and just like I slam.. Just because they've been around a long time, doesn't necessarily make them right. ;)

Posted by: Okie Dokie at March 15, 2003 03:30 PM

World Opinion will NEVER replace our wonderful Jerry Lewis!

Posted by: Gay Paree at March 15, 2003 04:03 PM

"God is Dead" Nietzsche 1899
"Nietzsche is Dead" God 1900

Posted by: Mikey at March 15, 2003 04:32 PM

World opinion?

Did they conduct a gallup poll of the entire planet?
I'd imagine the most common answer was: Get your big feet out of my vegetable patch, rice paddy, etc. I'm trying to raise enough food to keep my family from starving to death and I do't have time to waste answering questions about something I have no knowlege of, interest in, etc.

If by world opinion they mean the sign waving hordes of the unwashed (here and in France), then WHO CARES!
I look at the video tape on CNN and C-SPAN and think: whatever these yahoos are against, I'm for.
(nost of the time. I undrestand they like a good latte now and then, and so do I)

Posted by: Gorn! at March 15, 2003 04:33 PM

Click the Reuters link in this story and look at the first picture. It seems as if there are some gay Muslims asking for salsa!

Posted by: John Lemon at March 15, 2003 07:08 PM

Last time someone did this they were up to their lower lips with water. I hope they have their Mae Wests!!!!

Posted by: Robert at March 15, 2003 09:44 PM

Tony said;

"Does that mean God is on our side? Cool!" (and no I didn't miss the humor in it)

God is on the side of right and truth, whatever that is. But pride goeth before destruction. Every soldier should know what just cause they are really fighting for. Although "world opinion" would justify us in revenge or retribution .. (if only we could "prove" Iraq was complicit) But God will not.

If our motivation is redneck revenge.. we should pack our bags and get for home. But if it's a fight for freedom, and makeing the world a safer better place for truth and justice, then God will justify us (eventually) even if world opinion doesn't. Doing anything just to be popular with the world is a really bad idea.

Nor is fear, or servitude, a good enough reason to not go to war to defend right and truth.

Ironicly... doing the right thing has never been the most popular.. go figure. That's been the true religious dilema since time immemorial.

"Regligionists" have a term for when this world peace, truth, and justice happens... we call it "The Millenium"... 1000 years of peace... but we aren't there yet.. so get ready for Armageddon (or Jihad or whatever name works best for you)

Posted by: Phrog Poet at March 15, 2003 10:40 PM

You said it just right Phrog Poet! We should fight for what is right, and liberty for the Iraqi's, not for revenge!

Posted by: Susan Serin-Done at March 16, 2003 12:25 AM

All
Here's a great site for a mag that hands-down beats any other weekly (Time, Newsweek, et al) and a very informative piece on war protesters:
http://www.worldmag.com/world/issue/03-01-03/opening_1.asp

Keith
Love your post. All your posts, in fact. Are you AD USAF? WPAFB? Please be careful, sir, know what I mean? This ain't Tempest certified...

Posted by: greyhawk at March 16, 2003 05:31 AM

And some may want to visit this little on-line left-wing nut site
http://www.alternet.org/story.html?StoryID=15379
for some eye-opening stuff about the way these wackos think. You'll find "'Bush Wins': The Left's Nightmare Scenario" By Mark LeVine (from which I quote below) very insightful...


In this . . . scenario, the war is over quickly with relatively low U.S. casualties, some sort of mechanism for transitional rule is put in place, and President Bush and his policies gain unprecedented power and prestige. From my recent conversations with organizers and their latest pronouncements, it is clear that this possibility has yet to be addressed. Waiting much longer could spell disaster for the antiwar movement. . . .

In such a scenario, especially if there is no major upsurge in domestic terrorism, the antiwar movement will find itself publicly discredited and politically marginalized; remember the Y2K dooms-dayers? . . .

If the movement doesn't move with full effort to lay the groundwork for a Bush Wins scenario the massive organizing and consciousness raising of the last year could well prove fleeting, forcing the movement to start from scratch in mobilizing public opinion a year or two down the road.

Posted by: greyhawk at March 16, 2003 08:48 AM

Thanks Greyhawk. The story proves to me the left, is more concerned with removing Bush, EVEN if it means losing a war to do it! God help them!

Posted by: Susan Serin-Done at March 16, 2003 03:47 PM

Okay, just a few comments.

I'm really surprised to see that nobody here seems to be against the war. I do not blame you, you have been misled by your leaders and there is no shame in being too lazy to find out the truth. However, acting upon beliefs and conclusions drawn by ignorance alone, is dangerous and may very well have dire consequences, as I am afraid you will be aware soon enough. For your ìPresidentî never learns, he never understands. Everything is black and white to the guy. And so youíll go to war once again, with the best intentions, as always, and youíll do your best to make the world safe for democracy. Yeah, safe for the American kind of democracy and unsafe for all those on the other side, those who "are not with you", and therefore, according to the Bush-rhetoric, which are all too often distasteful distortions of the words of the Lord, must be against you. The thing is that Jesus, who for reasons unknown to me always end up in the centre of Bush politics, was about love and he would not have supported a war in which lots of innocent people will have to be killed in order to achieve... what? Do you even know? Saddam is anything but an immediate threat to your liberty. He is a slimy tyrant, sure, and if dethroning him could be accomplished without shedding the blood of Iraqi civilians and without upsetting the Arab nations and world opinion (yes, world opinion, let's not forget that 800000, that's eight hundred thousand, Indonesians were preying for a peaceful solution to this conflict last week), then you might have a case.

And: God is not one of the super-powers of the world. He really isn't, which you would know had you red the Bible. He is, however, the ONLY superpower in heaven. But we are not there yet and let us remember that it was the emperor's face on the coins.

Posted by: love thy neighbor at March 16, 2003 06:54 PM

God's only concern in this war is number of people that go to heaven, and the number that goes to hell. If we are debating this theologically, why don't we consider the many people who have died, without Christ, because of Saddam's brutal policies.

The liberation of Iraq will open up great oppurtunities for missionaries who have a burden for the muslim masses. Surely God loves a Christian nation, but he loves individuals coming to know Him even more.

Posted by: M. Upton at March 16, 2003 07:16 PM

the thing is love thy neighbor;

that the text says:
Love the Lord with all your heart might mind and strength, and thy neighbor as thy self.

So.. to allow the Iraqi people (all the Muslems too) the freedoms that we enjoy is really all we want to do. Let them CHOOSE it. How little you understand the nature of evil ! It can't just be ignored blindly.. it must be resisted.

and this "bombing innocent people"... is a big part of your psycobabble lies, You have to get all worked up and emotional about it, and convince yourself that the whole of Baghdad is going to be a big mushroom cloud and, then villify Bush for it, all in your mind. (it aint gonna happen)

Rest asussred it is Saddam (and Kim Joke Il) who want to play that game .. and will if we dont stop them first.

Actually there is NOBODY who is not with US... we all want a free Iraq. But there are a lot of ignorant pacifists who think this problem can just be talked and "inspected" to death.

Posted by: Phrog Poet at March 16, 2003 09:37 PM

Love the Neighbor,

It is a shame that you try and use the bible to support your dislike for G. W. Bush. And calling people stupid is loving thy neighbor? because they don't believe the same as you? Can you please tell us what truth it is that you have since we only have lies to beleive in. the problem is with all of you anti-republican morons is that you always say the side opposing your views are ignorant and don't have the facts, yet you fail to provide the facts. How are "milion" of innocent civilians going to die? Are you now or have you ever been in the military or a member of the intelligence community? I have and am, so at least I can see what the true facts are. So many of you anti-republican low lifes use this "save the children" and Inccoent deaths argument to bring emotion to your argument, but are not able to back it up. Like the old jokes says, you shouldn;t come to a battle of wits unarmed. the munitions we have available today are the best ever. in viet Nam we dropped bombs and they went wherever they wanted. they were guided by gravity alone. Then we got limited laser targetted and wire targetted systems, more accurate, but not much. In the Gulf War known as Desert Storm, we had better smart munitions that were laser guided. They were pretty impressive if you watched the news. Todays munitions are greatly improived because we use GPS guidance systems. saellitees tell them where to go to within a few feet.

Will innocents die, well that all depends on what you consider innocents. The american student who stood in front of a bulldozer in Gaza, was she an innocent-some would argue that because of her actions she was not. She actively supported the palestinian terrorists.

Civilians will undoubtadly dies, but do we forget the over 3000 totally innocent civilians that died on September 11, 2001? they weren't anywhere near a military target. I know, Iraq wasn't responsbile, but as long as we allow Saddam and people like him to continue to embolden the terrorists that were responsible, innocent people will die.

Did you hear about the government official who Saddam ordered tied to a pole and have his tingue cut out because he was attempting to leave Iraq? They let him bleen to death. Sorry, but innocents in Iraq are already being killed.

Posted by: Darth Chef at March 17, 2003 08:07 AM

To "Love thy neighbor", You are the quintesential, 'Wolf in sheep's clothing'! A typical Dem/Lib, twisting the Bible to fit your interpretation of it. God's word says, "For evil to flourish, is for good men to do nothing!".If you believe the Bible, you MUST believe it all! Did God destroy Sodam and Gammorah, Pharoh and his Army, did he not send his people into battle? If you are going to use the Bible, you can NOT pick only the parts you want, and take them out of context! Remember, we saw the immoral Clinton carrying a Bible and attending Church, but we know Satan attends also!

Posted by: Susan Serin-Done at March 17, 2003 10:17 AM

In The First Gulf War, did you not blow up a milk factory, as reported by Peter Arnett, who you will probably - for that reason alone - have to classify as yet another anti-republican moron, with smart bombs?

Are you not aware that the United Nations reported that, in the aftermath of operation Desert storm, approximately 500000 Iraqi children died because the water treatment plants had been bombed to pieces in what can only be described as chemical warfare?

This is why I am convinced that, this time too, hundreds of thousands of civilians will die. I, too, would like to take out Saddam, but the issue is complex and I do not believe in the Bush way of dealing with the situation. It will de-stabilize the Middle East and result in more terrorist attacks and more anti-American attitudes.

And, yes, I do love my neighbor, or at least I try very hard to, for I am convinced that Jesus was right; it is the only way. Friend or foe, you have my love no matter what you choose to call me. And I'm sorry I have to offend your President, but he really is hard to love.

Posted by: anti-republican moron? at March 17, 2003 10:29 AM

Moron
You are a liar. The Iraqi baby lie patently ridiculous. Again, you are a liar and will be identified as such if you spew that kind of vile here.

Posted by: greyhawk at March 17, 2003 11:01 AM

500,000 children died-gee missed that story, guess it wasn't big news. could you please provide me with your source or are you making that up too-like changing your name from lovethyneighbor to anti-republican moron. did hundreds of thousands of civilians die during gulf storm? we bombed bahgdad and everything there then. The only chemical warfare ws when Saddam dropped chemicals on his own citizens and killed 100,000 of them.

Love or AntiRepublican, or whatever you call yourself, are your eyes brown? cause you're full of crap all the way up to them.

Posted by: Darth Chef at March 17, 2003 11:56 AM

Hi Darth. Good to hear from you.
The 500000 Iraqi babies story goes hand in glove with the "4,000 jews stayed home from WTC on 911" story. It's a lie that is expected to be believed if it's repeated frequently enough.
In the Arab world is is accepted as gospel ;)

Posted by: greyhawk at March 17, 2003 12:04 PM

yea I know, thats why I challenged the loser for the source. its like any other rumor that is spread around. if 500,000 children actually died, and all the otehrs we've allegedly killed during and after the war, there shouldn't be more than a few thousand Iraqis left in the country once you add in all the saddam killed. If thats the case, then I guess we can legally say the country is abandoned and is up for grabs. LOL

Posted by: Darth Chef at March 17, 2003 12:59 PM

Not at the rate they apparently procreate...

Posted by: greyhawk at March 17, 2003 01:54 PM

Well, no, 500000 is not a lie. It is the estimate given by WHO in March 1996. Lesley Stahl confronted Madeleine Albright with this number on 60 Minutes and asked "is the price worth it?" and Albright answered "we think the price is worth it".

But I suppose you will continue to call me a liar. It's okay. I really don't know why I'm trying so hard to convince you. I want to believe there is still hope for you - we must never abandon hope. But your harsh responses scare me. Your hearts seem so filled anger and hatred. This is the last you'll hear from me so let me just say: please, do not hate.

Posted by: anti-republican moron? at March 17, 2003 03:37 PM

TO:
love thy neighbor
anti-republican moron?

International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC)
Amnesty International

IRAN IRAQ WAR
800,000 died
Estimates 1.5 million died.
Iran reports that 5,000 Iranian POWs (1981-1988) are unaccounted for by Iraq.

Iraqi fighter-attack aircraft dropped mustard-filled and tabun-filled 250 kilogram bombs and mustard-filled 500 kilogram bombs on Iranian targets.
Iraq installed spray tanks on an unknown number of helicopters or dropped 55-gallon drums filled with agents from low altitudes. These chemical weapons included
H-series blister
G-series nerve agents.
munitions including rockets, artillery shells, aerial bombs, and warheads on the Al Hussein Scud missile variant.
_______________________
INVASION OF KUWAIT 1990-1991
February 1991, Hussein, fire to over 700 Kuwaiti oil wells,
Final casualties 33,000 Kuwaitis killed or captured,
600 Kuwaiti and other nationals arrested by Iraqi forces during the occupation of Kuwait in 1990; _______________________
GULF WAR 1991
234 Allied dead,
85,000 and 100,000 Iraqi soldiers killed.
_______________________
IRAQ and KURD WAR UPRISING 1988-1991

4,000 Kurdish villages had been destroyed;
conservative estimate more than 100,000 rural Kurds had died in Anfal alone;

15 years ago yesterday 3-15,16 1988
3.5 million people and 10 percent of Halabja's citizens, more than 40,000 in all.
Saddam's forces used chemicals at 281 locations.
Among them were over 100,000 Kurds who "disappeared" during the 1988 and 1989 "Anfal Operations";
The cases of hundreds of thousands of detainees who "disappeared" in previous years remain unresolved. several thousand Shi'a Muslims arrested in the southern provinces of Basra, al-Nasirayya and al-'Amara in the aftermath of the March 1991 uprising.
Kurds, forcing an estimated 450,000 Kurds to the Turkish border and more than a million to Iran.
_________________________
IRAQ USED BIOLOICAL WARFARE AGENT ROTAVIRUS,
AMOUNG OTHER MIXED CHEMICAL AGENTS,MUSTARD,SARIN AND VX
AGANST THE KURDS UPRISING IN 1991
Rotavirus Anfal Operations

Christ's said
"If you don't have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one" (Luke 22:36).


Posted by: once again at March 17, 2003 06:27 PM

Moron:
When you hear something in an e-mail that goes on to say "forward this to ten of your friends and you will have good luck all day" - you may want to dismiss it, okay?

Posted by: greyhawk at March 18, 2003 12:09 AM

Saddam has to go.

But lets not pat ourselves too righteously..

Am I a hero if I put a sword in your belly, then return tomorrow and remove it, thus "saving" your life?

http://www.muslimedia.com/archives/features98/saddam.htm

Posted by: liquid at March 18, 2003 11:29 AM

Negotiating with terrorists is NEVER a good idea. Every law "enforcement" agency knows this. It empowers them. Does it matter if they are global, or happen to run a country and terrorise it as well? The people in Iraq are/were being killed, tortured, and held hostage.

You put a red lazer spot on thier forhead, right between thier eyes... and say .. ok Dude.. here's the deal.. come out with your hands in the air in 10 seconds... or we pull the trigger. And for 10 more seconds.. they have "freedom of choice". Actually.. you only have the right to do the right thing. Anything else will erode your freedoms.

This UN Negotiating with Saddam only gave him time to re-arm and regroup... and gave him and Al Queda and the rest of the terrorist types a public stage to perp their evil propaganda... we should be downright ashamed for being lured into that for a dozen years (Mr Chirac) .. not for going in and cleaning up the mess, before it got out of hand.

Posted by: Phrog Poet at March 22, 2003 08:11 PM

THE PRESIDENT: Let us pray to Jesus for victory over the godless forces of Allahammed, brothers.

"And when the Lord thy God hath delivered [a city] into thine hands, thou
shalt smite every male thereof with the edge of the sword: But the women,
and the little ones... shalt thou take unto thyself... But of the
cities of these people, which the Lord thy God doth give thee for an
inheritance, thou shalt save alive nothing that breatheth."
- Deuteronomy 20:13-16
"And when the Lord thy God shall deliver them before thee; thou shalt smite
them, and utterly destroy them; thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor
shew mercy unto them."
- Deuteronomy 7:2

REVEREND PAT ROBERTSON: Amen!

Posted by: tzuta at March 26, 2003 08:10 PM

THE PRESIDENT: For it is in Jesus' own best-selling autobiography entitled The Holy Bible that we read:

"Samaria [Iraq] shall become desolate;
for she hath rebelled against her God:
they shall fall by the sword:
their infants shall be dashed in pieces,
and their women with child shall be ripped up."
- Hosea 13:16
And I can't tell you how happy it makes me to be the bloodthirsty instrument of Jesus' Arab-killing, apocalypse-inducing rage.
SECRETARY FLEISCHER: Hallelujah Shalom!

Posted by: tzuta at March 26, 2003 08:13 PM

Ricon Tzuta Home Skool

I feel for you. You are a victim indeed and will perhaps never be whole. Peace be with you. Go with God.

We lost Vietnam for 10000 different reasons, one for every day of that war.

One was the protestors who gave strength and courage to the enemy that they could prevail because the American people were with them.
But this is not 1968. We are in the vipers nest again, and I see the same old faces (and some young ones) encouraging a new enemy to stand against us - and I know that many more will die now on both sides because of that encouragement.

And you say I'm on the dark side? Don't be blind to what is going on, man. The protestors prevented a united front - a united front that could have resolved this issue without a shot being fired. A united front against the embodiment of evil who spurns his religion and all who truly follow it's path. How can you defend this man? And do not say you don't. What did George Bush do to you to make your hatred of him so great that you would side with Saddam against the men and women of the US and Iraq?

Here's why the organizers of the protests do it; to recapture the "glory" they think they had in '68. To recruit new members to an atheist/communist cause. Are these your brothers now? The people who spat on you when you came home? Do you join them in spitting on today's young Marine? Or does your new religion demand you turn against the Corps?

If so, fine, you have fought for freedom of religion, just don't try to ignite religious hatred. It is unworthy of wise men.

No one but atheists and Islamists are buying the "George Bush religious war fanatic" claim. It's paranoia at it's worst. Note I am not claiming that George Bush is not a devout Christian, just that your spurious posts above do you no justice.

I commend your sobriety sir. I pray one day your recovery is complete.

Posted by: Greyhawk at March 26, 2003 09:05 PM

greyhawk, thanx,

we see your mind is closed. we are afraid you have been on the dark side too long.

your words, thoughts and actions will determine your future.

have you ever done anything in the past?
how about the future, have you ever done anything in the future?

of course the answer is no to both.

the only point in time there is, is the present moment,

in this moment one can evolve from past sufferings by repenting and vowing not to repeat past actions that have caused suffering.

in this moment one can take actions that are con structive not destructive that will create the future.

no guilt about the past (which is an illusion)
no fear or worry of the future( which has not been created yet)

choose peace, or choose death, fear and destruction.... in this moment.....

this choice will create your future.

be present in this moment. feel the joy of taking a breath in, the life giving oxygen gliding into your lungs..we have the choice of, creating, heaven or hell for the 10,000 generations to come.

Posted by: tzuta at March 26, 2003 11:12 PM

Tzuta, that is a beautiful sentiment and I only wish that it could be true for everyone.

But how can I choose peace when Iraq forces it's men to fight by threatening to kill their children? How can I ignore the building of WMD? (for even if Saddam does not yet have them, there is no doubt he would love to get his hands on some... maybe to use on more Kurds)

The world you speak of can only come about when everyone follows your dream. But, unfortunately, not everyone does, i.e. terrorists, who dream of revenge.

And I'm sorry, but our hands, as well as many others' in this world, are to dirty to wash clean. We're at a point in the history of the world where standing idly by is suicide. Terrorists already have a bone to pick and us declaring peace will not stop them. They will gain power unless threat is confronted and eliminated. Maybe once the threat of more 9/11s is gone, we can live in the world you envision.

Posted by: Cat at March 27, 2003 01:01 PM
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