ScrappleFace500.gif
Top Headlines...
:: Bush Applauds Arafat's 'New Attitude'
:: 'Fahrenheit 9/11' Sequel to Feature Jar Jar Cameo
:: Coroner: Arafat Died of Tilex Poisoning
:: Arafat May Soon Sign Death Certificate
:: Specter Backs Ashcroft for Next Supreme Court Opening
:: NJ Gov. McGreevey Leaves Office with Mandate
:: Specter Backs Partial-Burial Abortion for Arafat
:: Specter Retracts Ill-Conceived Abortion Remarks
:: Bush Swats Kofi Annan with Rolled Newspaper
:: Arafat Burial Plans Done in Time for Final Death

March 12, 2003
AOL Time Warner to Block TV and Mag Ads

(2003-03-12) -- After receiving a warm reception from customers to its software which blocks internet pop-up ads, AOL Time Warner announced today that its TV networks and magazines will now come with ad-blocking hardware.

All Time Warner Cable customers will receive TiVo-like set-top boxes which will fast forward through all commercials. And subscribers to the company's family of magazines will receive a small pair of scissors with which they can trim out display ads.

As a result of these changes, all advertisers have cancelled their contracts with AOL Time Warner, and the price of monthly AOL service is now $459, basic cable is $879 and a subscription to Time magazine is $349 per year.

In after-hours trading last night, AOL stock was used to clean up coffee spills.

by Scott Ott | Donate | | Comments (11) | More Satire | Printer-Friendly
Buy "Axis of Weasels," the first book by Scott Ott. $12.95 + S&H;
Email this entry to: Your email address:
Message (optional):
Skip to Comments Form

As always, Scott nails it. I don't like pop-up ads any more than the next person, but they let me access my favorite sites at $0 direct cost to me, so I'll tolerate them.

Posted by: RJGatorEsq at March 12, 2003 08:23 AM

They are a necessary evil, but I don't like the site that has like 10 pop-ads when you log into it.

Posted by: Justin at March 12, 2003 12:03 PM

There are "NO" free lunches in life! When did America decide they want FREE "everything" no irritations??? Haven't they had children....now there is a case for no free lunches.

Posted by: an old old lady at March 12, 2003 12:38 PM


RJ - Amen as far as favorite sites go, but it is a handy feature in almost all other situations. I use AOL and just updated it. It's customizable, so for example, I can allow popups from DrudgeReport and FoxNews ... And, as Justin points out, I think everybody has stumbled into sites that are little more than Hells Of A Thousand Popups ...

I've already enjoyed the warm fuzzy feeling of blocking popups from Reuters and NY Times which, as everybody knows, are America-hating Eurotrash lefty mouthpieces ... but ocassionally have articles worth reading. No more three-tenths of a cent from my visits anymore, HA HA HA HA

--

Some other possible future upgrades ...

DELUXE LOGIN-BYPASS TOOL FOR PORN SITES

CELEBRITY HATE-MAIL SPAMMING TOOL
(peacenik celebs only of course)

GRADE-HACKING SOFTWARE FOR STUDENTS

SATELLITE-HIJACKING SOFTWARE FOR AMBITIOUS WEBCASTERS


And most eagerly anticipated ...

AOL STICKS IT TO BIG MUSIC WITH NAPSTER-WARE

Related follow-up headline:

COURT RULES MUSIC INDUSTRY LAWYERS MUST DEFEAT AOL LAWYERS IN HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT TO RESOLVE DISPUTE

Posted by: Keith at March 12, 2003 09:32 PM

Keith, you are truly my Role Model. Thanks for the laughs.

Cheers!

Posted by: RJGatorEsq at March 13, 2003 08:26 AM

Allah be praised, you infidels can continue to try to mock His AOL. AOL remains a strong multi-media play, and has several valuable franchises, even valuing its maligned on-line arm at naught. Allah continues to laugh, and, as we all know, Allah lasts laugh.

Posted by: the talking dog at March 13, 2003 04:52 PM

Ah, pop-ups. The bane of the internet. And yet ... they still aren't as common as junk mail trying to talk me into getting another credit card I don't need. Gotta love it!

Posted by: BlueNinja at March 14, 2003 01:56 AM

Damn. Guess I can't afford to watch CNN any more.

Posted by: greyhawk at March 14, 2003 06:57 AM

The subject of unsolicited internet pop-up ads brought to mind another unsolicited travesty about which I recently read. It seems that many, and I mean MANY college students are paying between 3 and 8 dollars to an organization called PIRG (Public Interest Research Group). This organization is run by Ralph Nader (the man whose opinions are unsound at any speed)and the money that it extorts, flim-flams, and weasels from these college students and their parents funds Nader's many liberal causes. Here's how the scam works. When the student registers for classes each quarter or semester, he or she rarely notices a small box which allocates the previously mentioned sum in the form of a fee to PIRG. Most pay it no attention and poof! the money is gone. Some in some schools have noted it and the various universities and colleges have been forced to go to the reverse check mark system. You know this one; if you don't eliminate the existing check mark, poof! goes your money. Oddly enough, Nader and PIRG are staunch crusaders for political finance reform. I say oddly because guess where the poofed money goes. You got it! Into a political campaigning fund run by? You got it again! Ralph Nader! And we thought the only extortion game in town was the one run by the Sopranos.

Posted by: Joseph at March 14, 2003 12:22 PM

The subject of unsolicited internet pop-up ads brought to mind another unsolicited travesty about which I recently read. It seems that many, and I mean MANY college students are paying between 3 and 8 dollars to an organization called PIRG (Public Interest Research Group). This organization is run by Ralph Nader (the man whose opinions are unsound at any speed)and the money that it extorts, flim-flams, and weasels from these college students and their parents funds Nader's many liberal causes. Here's how the scam works. When the student registers for classes each quarter or semester, he or she rarely notices a small box which allocates the previously mentioned sum in the form of a fee to PIRG. Most pay it no attention and poof! the money is gone. Some in some schools have noted it and the various universities and colleges have been forced to go to the reverse check mark system. You know this one; if you don't eliminate the existing check mark, poof! goes your money. Oddly enough, Nader and PIRG are staunch crusaders for political finance reform. I say oddly because guess where the poofed money goes. You got it! Into a political campaigning fund run by? You got it again! Ralph Nader! And we thought the only extortion game in town was the one run by the Sopranos.

Posted by: Joseph at March 14, 2003 12:22 PM

morpheuss@hotmail.com

Posted by: morpheuss@hotmail.com at March 25, 2003 06:58 PM
0A
100 Recent Comments
Access the 100 most recent ScrappleFace reader comments, with links to the stories and to commenter archives.
ScrappleFace Headlines