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March 01, 2003
Blix Blames Plagiarized Document for His False Optimism

(2003-03-01) -- Chief United Nations weapons inspector Hans Blix retracted a statement he made last month that Iraq appears to be "making an effort" to comply with U.N. resolutions.

He blamed his error on a report from a subordinate that was apparently 'plagiarized' from an earlier work by a Jewish writer identified as Jonah ben Ammittai.

The report indicated that the Iraqi ruler had a change of heart and had ordered his people to do the right thing.

The information actually came from Mr. ben Amittai's eponymous Bible book of Jonah, and related to the King of Nineveh, a city in the land that is now Iraq.

The unnamed U.N. staffer who submitted the document to Mr. Blix said, "I just thought Hans would be intrigued by the similarities. Imagine my surprise when I heard his statement that Saddam was making an effort."

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Even in the face of all this misunderstanding
and with the new revelation that this was only
more Jewish propaganda and deception, the Iraqui
people are still determined to do the right thing.

They are in 100% agreement with Saddam, that the
right thing for them to do, under the circumstances,
is to stand loyally as human shields against this
evil Western imposition of freedom.

Posted by: Phrog Poet at March 1, 2003 01:49 PM

I love a good Old Testament reference.

Posted by: M. Upton at March 1, 2003 03:45 PM

Blix to narrate holiday special

Chief U.N. Weapons Inspector Hans Blix today confirmed plans to narrate a new animated holiday feature, "Saddam's Shiny New Year."

Blix, long admired in children's entertainment circles for the 'grandfatherly' qualities of his voice, says he looks forward to telling the tale of Saddam's life choices, unique career path and overshadowing villainy through the lens of a Christmas and New Year's feature, which creators say will be fashioned after Rankin and Bass holiday specials.

"It's important to let children know that even very bad men have a story to tell and a soft belly to expose," Blix said. "That's true for Saddam, so the feature will be especially fitting during the Infidel's holiday season."

Posted by: K. Van G. at March 1, 2003 06:02 PM

Of particular literary signifcance is Saddam's
new book: "The Mother Goose Of All Wars" which
Saddam started in 1990 and has been working on
feverishly since.

Only now is he ready to promote it to counteract
the Old Testiment propaganda. It's very important
to Saddam, Hans Blix and the French.. that the
world finnally hears the real truth.

Posted by: Phrog Poet at March 1, 2003 06:21 PM

Or, the 'truth', which is short for (watch out, this took me a while to get the annogram) The bull cRap that france came Up wiTh to get you to believe tHem.

Posted by: Paul C. Tindall at March 1, 2003 08:19 PM

Treacherous Repulsive Unreasonable Treasonous Hedgeing
of
Fanatic Reprehensible Amoral Nefarious Craven Egoists.

Posted by: Phrog Poet at March 1, 2003 10:36 PM

Ignorance is Blix!

Posted by: SteveB at March 2, 2003 11:06 AM

"Slick Blix Meets Hick Chicks!" ---Hans Blix met today with the Dixie Chicks. Hans was quoted as saying, "We have been looking for a project to do together for a while now! I am not sure how my main squeeze, Scott Ritter will take this whole thing though, he is extremely jealous that I might go "straight" again!"

Posted by: Susan Serin-Done at March 2, 2003 11:25 AM

And Elagant Lady from France
Went out in search of romance.
But the harder she tried it,
The more was denied it.
French men have thier brains in their pants.

Posted by: Phrog Poet at March 2, 2003 01:06 PM

Frenchmen have brains? *writes furiously* New developement, Frenchmen have brains, just not in their heads...

Posted by: Paul C. Tindall at March 2, 2003 04:32 PM

A MESSAGE TO HANS BLIX,UNSCUM, THE UN SECURITY COUNSEL, FROM AN IRAQI WHO WANTS HIS HOMELAND BACK
_____________________________
YOU CAN STOP LOOKING FOR WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION, SADDAM HUSSEIN IS THE WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION

A MILLION AND A HALF IRAQI'S HAVE DIED BY HIS HAND,


" SADDAM IS THE WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION "

QUOTE, AZIZ AL-TAEE

Posted by: FREE IRAQ at March 3, 2003 03:12 AM

The seam of guilt, self-doubt and feeling duped is a new American story totally different from the one we are most familiar with :

- the aggressive self-assertion of Bush and his cronies for global hegemony -

but perhaps the two feed off each other. Insecurity, of course, is a well known trigger for aggression.

Posted by: Mary at March 3, 2003 10:51 AM

Well, it is not well known to me, of course, but sometimes I get hives when I eat strawberries. I used to have a hegemony too, but it got out of it's cage and I think the cat got it...

Posted by: zzebu at March 3, 2003 11:16 AM

Yeah Mary,

"Insecurity, of course, is a well known trigger for aggression."

...but only from the Left. Which is why it is so
"well known" to you and your ilk.

Posted by: Phrog Poet at March 3, 2003 11:37 AM

Mary announced today that, "We libs are tired of being labeled as 'The Left wingers', by right wingers, therefore from now on, call us by the name that fits us better, 'The WRONG wingers'!"

Posted by: Hillary The Hog at March 3, 2003 03:17 PM

There once was a woman named Mary,
Her world views were really quite scary,
Damage to her brain
Caused by her refrain
From showering and eating dairy.

Posted by: Ameri-can at March 3, 2003 03:37 PM

Mary was a Liberal gal
They told her she was bright.
Mary thought she'd learned it all
Except she wasn't Right.

Mary didn't understand
She'd wandered to the Left
She ended up in Gumbyland
Of logic she became bereft.

Now Mary's just a rubber stamp;
Only knows the party line--
A Liberated Daschle tramp.
Who is giddy on French wine.

Posted by: Phrog Poet at March 3, 2003 09:12 PM

I love it when, absent real argument, people attempt to use pseudo-psychiatric analyisis to categorize the actions of others. A punch in the nose has been known to engender aggression from time to time, but I don't think it's from fear. The mere thought that anger can be both righteous and divorced from fear doesn't seem ever to cross the mind of those on the left, sadly.

For the record, guilt and self-doubt are indicative of the left in general. Conservatives and libertarians tend to be much more self-reliant and free of the obscure racial and societal guilt that infects the left. It's probably because of a belief in people as viable agents on their own behalf and not simply wards of the state and the belief that guilt is personal, belonging to the individual agent.

Posted by: John Jenkins at March 3, 2003 09:26 PM

Yo, John... what you said...

Posted by: Mike S at March 3, 2003 10:04 PM

You are right John. I think it was the insecurity and the weakness of Clinton that brought the majority of this mess on us. He had how many chances to nail OBL? But he didn't do it because he was scared as a little school girt.
A POLL conducted by DEMOCRATS "finds that Americans favor Republicans over Democrats 47% to 16%, when asked which party is more trusted to keep America safe." That was in the Feb 17, 2003 issue of Newsweek, last article titled "After Powell, Before War."
Suck on that liberal Bush haters!

Posted by: Justin at March 4, 2003 12:50 PM

Latvian President Vaira Vike-Freiberga had the French position spot-on... "...It's much easier to tolerate a dictator when he's dictating over somebody else's life and not your own."

Posted by: Furthamathur at March 4, 2003 10:54 PM

Latvian President Vaira Vike-Freiberga had the French position spot-on... "...It's much easier to tolerate a dictator when he's dictating over somebody else's life and not your own."

Posted by: Furthamathur at March 4, 2003 11:06 PM

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