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February 18, 2003
French President Changes Name to Chiraq

(2003-02-18) -- In an apparent show of solidarity with the Republic of Iraq, French President Jacques Chirac has officially changed his last name to Chiraq.

A presidential spokesman said it was a humanitarian move designed to show empathy with France's ally.

However, political opponents charged that the name change is actually part of a multi-billion dollar sponsorship deal between the two nations.

by Scott Ott | Donate | | Comments (40) | More Satire | Printer-Friendly
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Homer Simpson should be consulted here!!

Posted by: Fred Tucker at February 18, 2003 10:49 PM

All I have to say about that is.....


you're a genius dood

Posted by: rc at February 18, 2003 11:37 PM

OK, I've tried to be more economical in my commentary, but this I had to comment on. I literally laughed out loud and shed tears with this one.

I shall soon start my own blog, but am a bit lazy and bogged down with a conspiracy theorist would consider bioterrorism (from my 3 year old).

Posted by: John Lemon at February 19, 2003 12:58 AM

I even could say that this one is funny !

Posted by: A Frenchman at February 19, 2003 07:46 AM

Brilliant, just blody Brilliant

Posted by: Rene at February 19, 2003 08:28 AM

I think you've given the Post another headline.

Posted by: David Pinto at February 19, 2003 09:57 AM

(2) French President Jacques Chiraq has announced that he will end the lucrative French oil-contracts with Saddam Hoessein in an ultimate effort to prevent war. "Appeasement is more important than friendship," he said. Saddam said he was very disappointed by this act of his great friend, but Chiraq said, as usual,: "C'est la vie." (That is live).
Further Chiraq aid that he has to dismantle the Eiffel-Tower in Paris, because its maintainance will be too expensive, now France will miss the lucrative profits from the French-Saddam oil-contracts.
But a group of Americain millonaires have joined hands to raise money for a fund to buy the Eiffel-Tower and transport it to the United States. So, thanks to the Americans, the French will still have the possibility to visit their Eiffel-Tower: in the US.
A New Dutchmen

Posted by: A New Dutchman at February 19, 2003 10:01 AM

Good one! I have blogged it for posterity.

Posted by: James at February 19, 2003 10:29 AM

Good one! I have blogged it for posterity.

Posted by: James at February 19, 2003 10:29 AM

Brilliant! just brilliant. Thank you for another another one. Watch this catch on!

Posted by: Rich at February 19, 2003 12:12 PM


Posted by: PoliBlogger at February 19, 2003 12:21 PM

What ees ze next step, changing to Jaq Chiraq?

Posted by: MarcV at February 19, 2003 12:31 PM

Iraq, Hiraq and Chiraq, wereq, uraq and theyraq...

Posted by: Pooke at February 19, 2003 01:12 PM

Bush announces new wetlands initiative!

George W. Bush announced a new initiative to restore wetlands.

"Today many species that inhabit wetlands are threatened with extinction. This is a threat to civilization itself. We must act decisively now, before it is too late. In particular, I am concerned about the various species of frog that live along the banks of the Seine. We must restore the wetlands of 'Le Marais' to their natural state. I have directed the various branches of the Federal Government to use all necessary means. With courage and perseverance, the frogs can be returned to their proper home."

Posted by: Dishman at February 19, 2003 07:27 PM

Yes, I can see the sponsorship angle, especially with the success of San Francisco's "Name a dictator after your favorite sex act" deal.

Posted by: non-Amos at February 19, 2003 07:53 PM

Was it Perot who said after hearing that France would not help in any war against Iraq, "Having to go to war without France is sorta like having to go deer hunting without an accordian."

Posted by: N.Facol at February 19, 2003 10:59 PM

I don't know if they've done it before, but John Stewart's "The Daily Show" on Comedy Central just had a graphiq for "SHOWDOWN CHIRAQ".

Stewart followed it up with a craq about their plucky little spelling joke, then spent a while trashing Chiraq.


Posted by: The Comedian at February 19, 2003 11:06 PM


John Lemon now has his own blog. It's not very techie yet, but it will do for now.

All we are saying, is give John a Blog!

Posted by: John Lemon at February 20, 2003 04:44 AM

Jokes Chiraq -- Yeah, I could see that.

Posted by: Fleck at February 20, 2003 08:18 AM

Hooraq for you, John. You are a genius.

Posted by: pooke at February 20, 2003 01:14 PM

And Jean Chretien is changing to Genetic Cretin.

Posted by: AST at February 20, 2003 01:38 PM


Brilliant video on your website. Absolutely brilliant!! I give it an Oscar for best documentary.

Posted by: John Lemon at February 20, 2003 11:41 PM

are we suggesting chirac has gone chi-chi over iraq ?

forget about iraq, lets have chiraq regime change

wait til chirac gets caught dricing off a bridge w a french floozy. will be known as his chiraqiquidick.

Posted by: chiraq le cowboy at February 21, 2003 11:14 AM

That's a very old joke in France.

Posted by: Hunden at February 21, 2003 12:07 PM

I am afraid that the name "Genetic Cretin" has already been attributed to GWB.

Posted by: Frenchman at February 21, 2003 12:14 PM

News Today - Chiraq and Saddam are apperantly 'lovers' and Chiraq has moved in with Saddam, forsaking what he called, "A hopeless peice of crap [France]" for his 'hunny bunny' Saddam. That explains a lot...

More at the half hour.

Posted by: Paul C. Tindall at February 21, 2003 06:33 PM

Hey, John, I have a link on my site to yours, cause I love it so much.

Posted by: Paul C. Tindall at February 21, 2003 06:46 PM

To France and European COLLABORATORS of Saddam;

Every Iraqi and Kurds has the right to be free (like the Europeans) from the dictatorship and tyranny of Saddam.

SHAMELESS France supports Saddam as a way to protect their oil contracts at the expense of every Iraqi and Kurds. France DEPLORAPLE business with Saddam are all in violation of the UN trade embargo and therefore illegal. DESPICABLE France must be tried as an ACCESSORY to all atrocities and genocide committed by Saddam to its own people-particularly the Kurds.

Bootlickers can show their CROCODILE concern by putting Saddam as the King of France and the President of Europe. ìVive Europe - Long live Der Fuhrer Saddamî.

Posted by: Ylmas (a KURD) at February 22, 2003 06:15 AM

Just a note: In French, Iraq is spelled Irak. Therefore an accurate parody would have been Chirak. Sorry to be a downer...

Posted by: larrydj at February 22, 2003 01:01 PM

If You're Happy And You Know It Bomb Iraq - by John Robbins

If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky,
Pakistan is looking shifty
North Korea is too risky,
Bomb Iraq. >>>>>More
If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think that someone's dissed us, bomb Iraq
So to hell with the inspections,
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions
Bomb Iraq.
It's pre-emptive non-aggression, bomb Iraq.
To prevent this mass destruction, bomb Iraq.
They've got weapons we can't see,
And that's all the proof we need,
If they're not there, they must be there,
Bomb Iraq.
If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If you think Saddam's gone mad,
With the weapons that he had,
And he tried to kill your dad,
Bomb Iraq.
If corporate fraud is growin', bomb Iraq.
If your ties to it are showin', bomb Iraq.
If your politics are sleazy,
And hiding that ain't easy,
And your manhood's getting queasy,
Bomb Iraq.
Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq
For our might knows not our borders, bomb Iraq
Disagree? We'll call it treason
Let's make war not love this season
Even if we have no reason
Bomb Iraq

Posted by: John Robbins at February 24, 2003 08:09 AM

Dear John Robbins:

You voted for Gore in 2000. Perhaps you meant Florida?

Posted by: Carlos from the Philippines at February 24, 2003 10:07 AM

To Ylmas (a KURD)

Following the Gulf War George Bush Sr gave signals to the Kurds in the North and to the Marsh Arabs in the South that it would be a good time to revolt. All the signals were that the Allies would assist.

When the revolts happened, both the US and the UK turned a blind eye and left the rebels to the tender mercies of Saddam.

Good luck for this one !

Posted by: John Smith at February 25, 2003 06:39 AM


Posted by: John Lemon at February 25, 2003 11:43 AM

Hi. I want everybody to know that I love Saddam Hussein. Sometimes, I sit up at night dreaming he will come swoop me away to his summer palace, riding on a long range cruise missile. DOWN WITH THE USA!!!!

Posted by: John Robbins at February 26, 2003 02:55 AM


Posted by: John Lemon at February 26, 2003 08:03 AM

John Robbins,
Why are you so afraid to use your real french name????? Typical coward french..

Posted by: Neil at February 27, 2003 12:44 AM

TIPS : VIVENDI UNVERSAL is a french company...hollywood is ours!!! bomb hollywood!! bomb France!!! please ... ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ

Posted by: FRENCH at February 27, 2003 08:38 PM

And they might as well go ahead and change the country name of "Iraq" to "Got-Racked"...

Posted by: zzebu at February 28, 2003 10:33 AM

Osama bin Laden + Germany + Saddam + France

The extend in which France and Germany are trying to use all possible tricks to stop the plans of USA to liberate Irag from Saddam is the same trick which Saddam uses with regards to its WMD. France objective is to guarantee their financial interest (Total-elf-fin), and most importantly;-- to prevent America from capturing Saddam and its apparatus. Franco-German are afraid that once the US military starts interrogating a captured Saddam and his henchmen, America will stumble into a hard evidence linking Osama Bin Laden, France, Germany, and Saddam on a plot against USA.

At present, the evidences linking Saddam to Osama Bin Laden are as follow:

1.) The meeting between the 9/11 ringleader Mohammad Atta and an Iraqi officer in Prague.
2.) The meeting between Osama Bin Laden and Faruk(Iraqi head of intelligence) in their Turkey embassy.
3.) The assistance Saddam extended to Al-Qaida terrorists escaping US troops from Afghanistan.
4.) Iraqi Embassy diplomat direct link with an Asian terrorist group called Abu-Sayaff (with proven Al-Qaida link).

The 9/11 terror attack against America has opened a lot of circumstances, that needs to be clarified and answered once Saddam will be under US custody.

These are:

1.) Most of the direct perpetrator of 9/11 terror attacks against America stayed and lived in Germany.
---- Why and Who financed and coordinated these terrorist??

2.) Moussaoui, the 20th hijacker is a French citizen.
---- Is he working as a coordinator for France intelligence apparatus??

3.) Most Arab terrorist who are positively identified by the CIA are presently in-captivity at Germany and France. But they vehemently refuses to handover these people to the FBI for further questioning.
---- Are they afraid that these terrorist knows too much and might spill the extent of Franco-German collaboration??

4.) The precision in which these terrorist slammed the hijacked aircrafts to the Pentagon and WTC shows thorough training. Records shows that these Arabs have trained in some flying schools in America. But the same record also shows that their performance during and after the training were below par. After the completion of their US training, these terrorists disappeared for a while.
---- Where they sent to Europe for further precision training by Lufthansa Airlines of Germany and Air France??

5.)Airline companies in the USA uses both the American Boeing Aircraft and the Franco-german Airbus in their fleet. Also, AirFrance and Lufthansa aircrafts were in the US airports during 9/11.
---- Why is it that all aircrafts used in the 9/11 attack were US built Boeing and owned by US registered airlines??
---- Is this design to divert US investigators away from the european collaborators??
---- And at the same time, to deliberately weaken American owned airlines- which the European canít compete without state subsidies??

6.)The targets of 9/11 were the World Trade Center Buildings ( Symbols of American Economic Power ) and the Pentagon ( Symbols of American Military Power ). During those times, the value of the European euro was at 0.8 US dollar ( 1 euro = 0.8 US$) from its introductory value of 1.10 US dollar ( 1 euro = 1.10 US $ ) a year before.
---- Was the WTC attack designed to weaken US economy in order to stop the decline of euro and its influence??
---- On the other hand, was the Pentagon attack a Franco-german concession to Osama Bin Ladenís cooperation with them??

These may be circumstantial. It can be proven or disputed once the US military captures Saddam and its cohorts. But for a very obvious reason, France and Germany are pulling all tricks and machinations to harass and stop USA from going into Iraq. President George HW Bush should make the proper decision of liberating the Iraqi people from a Franco-German supported Saddam with or without the irrelevant UN. The truth must be pursued...

Posted by: GLINGNAMEN ACOL at March 1, 2003 06:01 AM

hi warriors ask G.W.BUSH how he succedeed in avoiding vietnam war in 1968?HELP DAD i'm a chicken hawk.50 OOO dead young americans whose fathers was not politicians.HOW MANY VIETNAM FIGHTERS AMONG THE HAWKS OF YOUR GOVERNMENT?

Posted by: jean at March 5, 2003 01:27 PM
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