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February 08, 2003
U.N. Troops to Serve as Human Shields in Iraq

(2003-02-08) -- In order to fend off a U.S.-led invasion of Iraq, France and Germany propose sending a 10,000-person U.N. force to serve as human shields.

The U.N. troops would join the dozens of pro-Saddam protestors already in Baghdad hoping their presence will prevent an attack.

U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan welcomed the proposal, and suggested the traditional baby blue U.N. peacekeeper helmets bear the letters NIMN, for Not In My Name.

The U.N. soldiers will link arms to form human chains around weapons sites, command-and-control centers and presidential palaces. They'll chant slogans, sing folk songs and eat a lot of hummus.

"When Saddam Hussein sees this," said Mr. Annan, "He will know we are serious about peace in the region."

by Scott Ott | Donate | | Comments (27) | More Satire | Printer-Friendly
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The more weasels serving as human shields, all the better. They can gather in front of all those "baby milk factories" in Iraq.

I'm still on with the idea of recruiting human arrows to defeat the human shields.

In My Name, and first again.

Posted by: John Lemon at February 8, 2003 11:42 PM

Clearly, the UN has been hijacked by the weasels. The same weasels who participated in the LN, and who is now doing everything to isolate USA. These weasels is trying to protect their "finacial interest" in iraq and iran at the expense of USA. The LN failed to stop Hitler from digesting europe. Do they expect USA to wait until saddam or binladen attack its cities with WMD -as the french waited for the germans to sent their tanks to paris during the time of the LN? The UN is now on the path of the LN - hence it must also be abolished and replaced. USA must not waste time and resources to the UN(who can't even implement its own resolution). USA is the biggest contributor to the UN. Simply stop the waste of taxpayer's money and disolve the UN. It is an irrelevant organization. The security of USA should be decided by its leaders and its citizens, and not by the weasels. President GHWB is on the right path... Lets roll now...

Posted by: ALNER at February 9, 2003 03:59 AM

I think that they should go. If they stand around the military sites it makes it easier for the good guys to locate them. Better stillthey oought to link arms with Saddam. THAT will protect him!

They have the arrogance to think that because they have European faces (ie white) that we and our allies won't strike them.

Just a few less idiots to spoil the gene pool.

Posted by: Mikey at February 9, 2003 08:08 AM

think about the matter a moment does Iraq form a real threat to the U.S.A ???? I do not think so . But u r so arrogant to see the truth !! THE TRUTH which is seen by the people whom u called WEASELS !!

Posted by: tuilip at February 9, 2003 08:54 AM

The French company Maginot Construction today announced it had developed a plan to prevent war in Iraq. The Maginot plan is to build a line of fortifications around Iraq so that they would no longer be a threat to the region. "We no longer need to be concerned with minor infractions of previous treaties," said a company spokesman. Behind company representatives were large flat-bed trucks heading into Iraq with wooden crates the size of tanks labeled "baby food."

Representatives of "Not in My Mind", a leading group of peace activists, hailed the plan as bringing peace in our time.

Posted by: Jonathan Cohen at February 9, 2003 09:04 AM

Tulip?
What threat was the taliban and UBL to us before? He was only stting in a 4th world country Afganistan.
9/11/01 is what happened.

Chamberlain Tulip. So SAD.

Posted by: Mikey at February 9, 2003 10:06 AM

Before you read the rest of this, let me be clear, I'm with Janet Reno on this.

That said, the German and French proposal doesn't really sound that bad. The elements giving it away are:
1) Calling a Mirage 4 a reconnaissance plane
2) "the no-fly zone over northern and southern Iraq should be extended to cover the whole country and French, German and U.S. reconnaissance planes should be allowed to patrol the skies"

Sounds like this coming Friday, they're going to give him 48 hours to accept or reject this proposal.

Posted by: Dishman at February 9, 2003 11:18 AM

Would the Darwin Awards site consider France and Germany for an "Honorable Mention"?

Posted by: Okie Dokie at February 9, 2003 12:01 PM

I still see no need to invade Iraq . Compare the Iraqi's and Norht Korea's matter , which of them is the real threat ? the one that already has a nuclear arsenal or the one that suffers from the economic sanction and the no-fly -zone ???
Look , u discribe Afganstan as belonging to the 4th world , of course u r the ones who belong to the 1st world !! Is it this way ???
Well, u r so civilized , but u don't have the courage to let other live along with u despite all the differences .
I hope that any one of u who support the war ,will go to Iraq and see the situation in the graund . Then , Iam sure that u will join my side of favoring PEACE , the real PEACE not the one imposed by the strongs' resolutions .

Posted by: tuilip at February 9, 2003 12:24 PM

First, learn to spell and we might take you seriously.

Remember 911!

Posted by: billhedrick at February 9, 2003 12:38 PM

Darwin Awards might not be necessary.
The rest of NATO would be standing by, ready to bail them out.

As for "to let other live along with you despite all the differences"...
Tell that to those who are already permanently scarred by Saddam's weapons.

As for North Korea, the situation there is being dealt with. Right now, I'll give even odds on the government of DPRK being removed by year's end with fewer combat casualties than it kills in a typical year.

Posted by: Dishman at February 9, 2003 12:57 PM

Maybe we can throw Tulips at Iraq.

All we are saying, is give Two some Lips
(and a dictionary)!

Posted by: John Lemon at February 9, 2003 05:20 PM

North Korea will be dealt when the time is right. As a matter of fact, if I were Kim Mentally-ill, I woull be shaking because "the clazy glingos are coming"

Posted by: NJPatriot at February 9, 2003 05:28 PM

Oh, billhedrick you are so ............

Posted by: tuilip at February 10, 2003 07:10 AM

Tulip -

1. North Korea is a mountanous, cave riddled country, and its leadership uses these deep caves to store their weaponry. Iraq is big and sandy. Conventional warfare can topple Hussain-- Korea needs a different approach.

2. Iraq's neighbors have no desire to limit Hussain's power --- China, SoKo, Russ, and Japan all recognize that a Nuclear NoKo is a bad thing--- So the US might not have to be as involved in that theater.

-Deirdre

Posted by: Deirdre at February 10, 2003 09:51 AM

To Deirdre

Iraq is more dangerous than North Korea, they have petrol. North Korea only has nuclear weapons.

Posted by: x at February 12, 2003 04:41 AM

Yes, X...Iraq is more dangerous, precisely because of oil. If NKorea ever uses a nuke against us or our allies, we just nuke them completely off the planet. There is nothing of strategic importance there. On the other hand...we can't do that with Iraq because of what would happen with all the oil in the region. That's why we will make sure Iraq never, ever, ever develops a nuke.

Posted by: Robert at February 12, 2003 12:25 PM

To Robert:

Quotation: "Yes, X...Iraq is more dangerous, precisely because of oil. If NKorea ever uses a nuke against us or our allies, we just nuke them completely off the planet. There is nothing of strategic importance there. On the other hand...we can't do that with Iraq because of what would happen with all the oil in the region. That's why we will make sure Iraq never, ever, ever develops a nuke."

Answer : You are more honest than the others but not less arrogant.

Posted by: A Frenchman at February 13, 2003 07:48 AM

A frenchman claming that American's are attogant. LOL!!!

That is like the kettle calling the pot black.

Posted by: Kestrel at February 14, 2003 10:59 AM

To all :

See you Tomorrow to discuss the world's opinion about black kettles and black pots !!!

Posted by: A Frenchman at February 14, 2003 01:25 PM

I do not think that all US citizens are arrogants,

but those who are, they are !!! ;)

Posted by: A Frenchman at February 14, 2003 01:30 PM

I am going to Iraq

Because I would like to prevent, or, at least to attract attention on innocents being killed and the distruction of infrastructures necessary for living, by mass bombing of their country.

Because I want to make people think what kind of madness it is to bomb a country and its people.

Because the victims of the bombings are ëdehumanisedí and hardly get any attention in the media, while victims of terrorism in the rich countries get wide coverage.

Because war, and especially modern USAís war, with massive bombings, is the worst form of terror.

Because the people of Iraq have already suffered under Saddam Husseinís rule, and had to suffer even more because of the bombings of the Gulf war and the sanctions which have a genocidal impact on the population.

Because weapons of mass destruction should be abolished not only in Iraq but all over the world, including USA and Israel.

Because the huge amount of money spent for this war could be used to improve the living conditions for millions of people in need.

Because USA use or try to use UN as a cover for their own military, economic and political goals, such as to control over the oil reserves and keeping a military presence in the Middle East.

Because USA want to decide how the world should be, bypassing the opinion of the rest of the world.


My choice is to be with them who do not have a choice.

Posted by: gabriel at February 14, 2003 06:38 PM

Because Darwin was right!

Posted by: John Lemon at February 14, 2003 10:53 PM

Gabe,
Can we send a webcam with you? You could make history by transmitting live, over the world wide web, the first public view of a JDAM striking a target. I have an old laptop and I'm sure someone would donate a cell modem, webcam and the software to broadcast the live feed. I will even include an extra battery (wouldn't want to miss the "big" moment).

Let me know dude, I'll FedEx the stuff to you. Post the coordinates of your Bahgdad hotel in these comments and I'll do my best to deliver the package before the USAF delivers theirs.

Posted by: Mike S at February 15, 2003 01:57 PM

Why does everyone think we [the U.S.] are going to war in Iraq merely for the oil? If we wanted the oil, we could just buy it (like we're already doing, I think). The oil contracts? What, 30 billion dollars? In terms of the U.S. economy, that's a joke. The U.S. GDP is slightly more than 10 trillion dollars, and upwards of 50 billion dollars would be spent fighting the war (so there wouldn't really be a profit, even if we took all of the oil for ourselves, which I can assure you that we won't).

I can understand why some people would be leery of using war/military actions to ensure peace, but they conveniently neglect to pay attention to (and give their implicit approval to) the gassing of Kurds + other citizens in Iraq. The military action that the U.S. takes, and has taken, unlike some person not in tune with reality stated above, is not "the worst form of terror ever". First, we actually DO take some efforts (actually, from a military stand-point, we bend over backwards through flaming hula-hoops) to spare civilians from the horrors of war. We're not perfect- no one is, no wars are fought without destruction. However, we don't AIM to kill civilians, a critical distinction from REAL terrorists and Saddam Hussein, among other people.

Perhaps Iraq had a hand in the September 11th attacks (I personally don't believe that, but its possible). Perhaps Iraq is building nuclear weapons (I personally don't believe that either, but its more likely).

Perhaps Iraq is led by a megalomaniac dictator who oppresses his people, makes a mockery of the United Nations Charter (its actually in the U.N, amazingly.. the U.N. really, really needs to rescind its membership on the basis of its human rights violations, among other things), and uses weapons of mass destruction (chemical, possibly biological weapons) against his people, as well as using them to ensure his own survival through the use of human shields.
Well, I really should remove the word "perhaps" at the front of this paragraph. Saddam Hussein/Iraq have done all that and more, such as the use of "human shields".

When he uses human shields, not visible through methods of intelligence such as overhead recon flights and satellite imagery, and innocents are killed, perhaps we all should not criticize the United States, but rather criticize Iraq for forcing its people, at gunpoint, to protect all sorts of weapons that ARE used to terrorize innocents (such as the use of scud missiles against Israel, which did not contribute troops to the effort to liberate Kuwait.

I sympathize with those that really do want to go to Iraq to act as human shields to preserve peace, and I hope that God will have mercy on their souls for causing any unnecessary guilt, should they be (accidentally) killed by any U.S. bombers. Perhaps they do not realize the consequences of their actions. No pilot or flight crew WANTS to kill people. However, when it does have to happen, the pilot can gain some measure of solace from the fact that the persons killed were engaged in military acts and would not have hesitated to kill him, had they the capability. Killing civilians, as the U.S. particularly, and for the most part every other nation in the world (not Iraq, of course) is an abhorrable act, that we wish to never commit. However, these willing human-shields will die (at least some of them), and they do not even realize what sort of guilt that would wreak on American personnel.
I am also horrified that these people [the willing human-shielders] will be all in one place, free to reproduce, among other things. If the first generation is that incredibly stupid, just imagine how bad their offspring will be!

Posted by: Brian Lovecraft at February 16, 2003 01:26 PM

The U.S. are going to war in Iraq to CONTROL the oil.

Posted by: Ronald Mc Donald at February 25, 2003 12:28 PM

I've been wondering if it possible to nominate a human shield.
There are plenty of folks I'd like to see standing around a strategic or tactical target holding hands and singing "We Shall Overcome" while the smart-bombs come screaming in...bliss!

Kind of like running a skimmer basket over the gene pool.

Option 2: Let's (mis)quote The Bard. "A plague on ALL your houses." Cut ties with the entire middle-east, don't let any thing in or out, and let them fight it out to their hearts' content. After 20 or 30 years, when the entire region has reverted to mutually antagonistic nomadic tribes, we go in and say, "Are you willing to play nice?"

It would never work, of course. The world economy (ours included) is too dependent on petroleum. "No blood for oil"!? Folks, oil IS blood.

Dream clean, Ashcroft is watching. ;-)

Posted by: Gorn! at March 11, 2003 04:25 PM
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